Learning Lessons #6: Appreciation
January 31, 2008
Yesterday I attended the funeral of a 3rd grader from my children’s school. It was a little boy who had previously been in class with Tristan. It was incredibly sad to see the family come in behind the little coffin. The kids go to a Catholic school and the funeral and Mass were held at the parish church affiliated with the school. Many of the students and teachers attended. As I sat there saddened by the loss of a little boy, my mind started to wander. I started to think about what, exactly, I was sad about.
I realized that the saddest part for me was knowing that if I were to lose one of my children, that I’d have missed out on enjoying some of the things that are often “annoying”. I’d miss the clean and folded clothes that have been stuffed into the laundry basket so that they didn’t have to be put away. I’d miss a little voice begging me to sit down and read a story, even though I’m trying to make dinner, fold clothes, wash dishes, write a blog post or take a shower. I’d miss “on-demand” nursing. I’d miss the warmth of a little body climbing into my bed and squishing in-between my husband and I. I’d miss special requests at dinner or snack time. I’d miss the long, drawn-out explanations of ideas from curious and growing little minds. I’d be heart-broken to realize that I hadn’t enjoyed being a mother and instead focused on the annoyances of doing this job 24/7 for years on end. And right there and then I made a decision to ENJOY my children. To love them for the time I have them, dirty hands, food on the floor, whining and all. I’m making a vow to love them the way I want to, despite people who think they should be more disciplined, quieter, cleaner. Despite people who think my family is too large or too poor. I’m just going to love them and enjoy them and hope that I get to keep them for a long, long time.
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday! I learned that I need to appreciate what’s been put before me.
So, now, instead of worrying about the paperwork that’s piling up or the laundry that’s never going to be done, anyway or the messy playroom, I’m going to pack up my 3 youngest kiddos and take a walk to the beach.
I hope you each find a way to appreciate your loved ones today and to vow to love them in your own way, without being hindered by other’s opinions.
Have a great day~
5 comments
I came to that conclusion years ago that we only have our little ones for a limited amount of time (and, it goes by so fast) so cherish and spoil them while you can – now!
wow…what a great post for the week before Lent. I really have to step back this year and be deliberate about thanksgiving. Thanks Jen!
What a wonderful post, Jenn! One of my confessors always tells me anytime I confess being impatient, or frustrated exactly what you said. So, the house is a bit of a disaster- oh well, who cares? As long as its somewhat picked up and clean, time is best spent playing cars, Lincoln Logs, pirates or whatever else crosses our kids’ minds. Today we planted Venus Fly Trap seeds in a little plastic planter. Most of the dirt made into the planter, but not all of it. Plus, we had quite a bit of glitter on the table from Tate, and some other stuff strewned about. But, I’ve learned to say to myself, “that’s what vacuums and washing machines are for & there’s always time to clean up later
” God bless & see you at Holy Angels.
I can’t thank you enough for this blog…You are truly one of the most Beautiful human beings I have ever known..thankfully you are a part of me. May I remember, by your influence, how important loving people for who THEY are is.
Thank you so much for you!
I love You! xoxoxo
There is much wisdom in what you have stated, Jennifer. All too often people do not appreciate their loved ones while they still have them. This reality hit me very hard after my mother died in 1975 (when I was just 18 years old)! Those things about her that bothered me before her death were no longer very important! Many years after my mom’s death, a relative CRITICIZED her cooking! I thought, “Who cares?! What I would have given to have her back! Whether she was a good cook or a less-than-average one was of little concern to me!”
I am reminded of an important point about being critical. Some years ago I read about a lady named Sonya Carson, who, because of her third grade education, did not read very well. One day one of her two sons (either Curtis or Benjamin) criticized her for not being able to read as well as he could. While she did not deny that her son had reading abilities superior to hers, she also let it be known that she did not appreciate his critical attitude, saying, to slightly paraphrase, “Please do not criticize me. Rather, kindly educate me.” She made sure that her sons got a good education, one of them becoming an architect and the other one becoming one the world’s top pediatric neurosurgeons (named Dr. Benjamin Carson,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Carson). So, I thank Mrs. Carson for
inspiring me to think up this quote:
“One of the greatest tragedies of human existence is that people spend
entirely too much time criticizing and not nearly enough time
educating.”
Love,
Joe
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