Good-Bye To My Grandma

Yesterday as I was pushing 2 kiddos in a cart ahead of me and pulling a cart behind me (which Max was “helping” to push) in the commissary, my mother called. I answered the call to hear the crackling and pauses of a bad cell phone connection. It took me a couple of tries to hear what she was saying and then I had to actually ask, “did you just say that Grandma died?”. She had. I’m not usually an emotional person, in public, but right in front of the bread and anyone who was passing by, I began to cry. My 3 little kids stopped anything they were doing and stared at me. Gabi wanted to know if it was her grandma. Max came over and said I was the best mom he’d ever had. Poor little guy, couldn’t imagine what would make me cry in the middle of the shopping.

My grandmother lived a long and full life. She had 7 children and has 37 grand children and numerous great-grandchildren. She attended daily Mass. She was a widow for the last 11 years. I lived with her and my grandpa on, at least, 3 different occasions while growing up. Kateri and I lived with them from the time she was 9 months old, until just after her 3rd birthday. Clay and I had gotten married about 6 months before that, but he deployed right away, so I stayed put. My grandparents put me in ballet/tap and square-dancing lessons when I was young. My parents couldn’t afford to do it for me, so Grandma and Grandpa made it happen. They would always take me for a treat afterward. She was stingy with praise which is why I remember how I felt when I got a compliment about how I’d cleaned the kitchen. Now, every time I scrub out my own kitchen sink, I hear her voice. Funny, the things you remember!

I’d have to say that I didn’t cry because she’d gone, but because of the immediate thought of Clay’s deployment. I was sad to think that my whole family would be together to celebrate her life, but that I wouldn’t be able to go. It turns out that I can. Clay leaves on Monday and Grandma’s funeral is on Wednesday. My babysitter will be on Spring Break and is willing to spend a night and a day here, with my kids so that I can fly up and be with everyone. I do wish it were possible to take the kids with me, but it’s just not. So, a 24-hour trip it is. Even my sister who’s a Sister in Portugal will be there. Hearing that her order was putting her on a plane (she arrives tonight!) made me feel like I needed to make it happen.

So, next week will be packed with emotion! I’ll be sending Clay off with the hope that he come home safely and saying good-bye to Grandma in the hope that I meet up with her and all that have passed on, when my time comes~