Avoiding The End-of-the-Day Overload
May 22, 2008
I felt particularly challenged this afternoon!
I could feel myself getting snappy and short with the kids (because they were snappy and short with me) and decided I better do something about it, before we ended up in a shouting match. So, I thought of my options and knew I didn’t have to make a big dinner tonight because all the older kids were going to a friends’ house to watch the American Idol finale. So Kateri put some soup on for the little kids and I headed outside to “de-stress” through yard work. I took time to trim some bougainvillea and cut all the old blooms from the roses. As I was working, I thought of all the little tricks I use to take a breath and get a new perspective on what’s happening when I feel stressed. There are certainly times when I can’t just stop everything and go outside to work in the yard. You know….those times when you have to keep plowing forward through the craziness, hoping to come out the other side with a smile on your face. So, I put together a list of ways to avoid the end-of-the-day overload;
Take a big breath!
Say a little prayer
Decide to speak softly (it really throws the kids off).
Don’t answer the annoying questions that your kids are asking you-sometimes silence works wonders.
Go outside
Do a little yard work (being outside can change your whole mood)
Take a quick walk
Lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes
Sit the little ones on your lap and read a quick story
Put the kiddos in the car and take a quick drive-the change of scenery can be enough to get everyone out of the mood they were in.
Think of something funny
Call someone who makes you laugh (yes, even with the kids screaming in the background)
So, after I cleaned up the rose bush and the bougainvillea I decided to cut the flower pictured above. By the time I was done (about 40 minutes), the yard looked better, my mood had changed, the kids were eating their soup (having someone to lend a hand makes a HUGE difference!) and I had freshly cut flowers to decorate the table with.
What are some of your de-stressers? I always love getting new ideas! And hey, if you don’t ever need any of these tips because you never feel like the day has gotten to be too much….for goodness sake, start writing a blog, because I need to read what you have to say!
Good night~
7 comments
I love reading your website for many reasons. But one reason is bc it reminds me that I’m not the only one ready to pull my hair out sometimes! The biggest way for me to de- stress in the crazy moment when I don’t have any help is to step away from the situation- whether it’s outside in the backyard or on the stairs or in another room. A minute to re- group, say a prayer, and get back into things. Yesterday I felt a little guilty bc I put Jake in his carseat (while he was screaming which I’ve never done) on the floor and had the boys (who were fighting over a broom while I was on the phone with the bank) sit with him and entertain him while I had my moment on the stairs to re-group. Jake’s been up every 2 hours for the last 3 nights (when it’s normally only once or twice a night), so my ability to cope these days hasn’t been as good as it usually is!
The best way for me to diffuse a temper tantrum or an issue with the older 2 boys is to remain calm, and especially with Tate, give him a big hug & tell him I understand what he’s feeling. When he (and Coby) feel acknowledged and that I understand why they’re acting a certain way, it helps calm things down faster. I’m pretty good at that as long as the baby isn’t screaming while I do this. If he’s screaming bc he has to wait while I work with the boys, then it’s a lot harder to work through things calmly and slowly! Hearing an infant scream drives me nutso for some reason; I get ridiculously anxious- even if it’s someone else’s baby!
When Clint gets home, my best way to de- stress is to exercise!!! I LOVE to exercise & go to a jazzercise class 2-3 times a week. It’s my moment to get out of the house by myself for an hour and have some fun. Just that one hour a few times a week works wonders!
Does Tequila count as a tip… just kidding
For me, its knowing my triggers and avoiding them.
I love to have time alone each day so I wake up WELL BEFORE everyone else to guarantee this happens.
I’m cranky when I don’t exercise, so I exercise most days.
I’m totally hooked on caffine, so I am well caffinated BEFORE my boys wake up.
A mess really makes me stressed, it makes my husband even more stressed, so I spend about 30 minutes before I go to bed and 30 minutes after the boys have gone to school organinzing the house. It amazing how a picked up house relaxes me.
When I’m in a moment of frustration, I try to stop and ask myself why it really matters. It usually doesn’t matter and I tell myself OUTLOUD that its not important.
When I’m tied or feeling lazy, I tell myself OUTLOUD “This is what I do” and my body somehow seems to follow and just does what needs to get done.
I also use Jen’s quiet voice trick.
If Josh and Joe are driving me crazy, I tell them “Mommy needs 10 minutes by herself”, then I find something for them to do away from me and set a timmer. At 7 & 9, this works. Babies might not be so cooperative
Casey’s tequila tip reminded me of my “secret” tip-A glass of wine and some great music can go a long way!
My destressers…
I step outside and take a huge breath of fresh air…I used to do this in MT, even when it was FREEZING cold. It’s good for waking you up, too!
Sometimes I blog.
Or pull out my camera…the kids all ack better when I have the camera!
I grab one of the kids on the way by and get a quick hug.
I go to my room, and rest for a second or two.
Or, alternately, I cry, scream, yell, and call my husband (if he’s within reach).
One thing that has REALLY helped me is realizing that worries about money leave me very snappy with my kids. If I can NOT WORRY about it, I am a MUCH nicer mom!
what a great week for me to see this post. I have been in tears cuz my four year old has been so difficult, and he ran down the drive and walked down our street the other day…leaving me clueless as to his whereabouts…and a stranger returned him to me suspiciously…sigh…just another reminder that I need all the help I can get…
the money stress is a big one for us right now. I’m not sure how to handle that either…
anyway, nice to know I’m not alone…
Bless you! I don’t even remember any de-stressing things I did, now that my “baby” is seventeen! I love reading your tips, though; they sound like good ones!
Mark me down for the tequila or wine, either one works for me!
Interesting thing about this topic made me realize I’m not sure how I de-stress..
I think I catch up on some blogs and snark. Or read a book…in the tub! Yessss! I just figured out my destressor!
You are always so darn helpful!
Hugs,
Pilar
PS..sharing moment:
As I type this, Grace is performing Mass and just fed me the body of Christ. Gotta love it!
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