A Mommy of Many Question
By mommy of many™. Filed in children, family life, frustrating, kids, mom, questions, sharing |Tags: afraid of the dark, children, family life, kids, mom, Mommy of Many, mommyofmany, MommyofMany.com, parenting, questions, screaming toddler, sharing
Even Mommies of Many have questions about child-rearing!
What is it that makes a toddler, who has had a perfectly good bedtime routine, suddenly decide they are afraid of the dark?
It’s driving me nuts! Luke-Xavier had been going to bed without ANY problems. Suddenly, about 2 weeks ago, he decided to start screaming about it being dark. It is by no means, DARK in that boy’s room! We leave the hall light on and the door open! However, he has spent enough nights standing at his gate screaming about it being dark, that I bought a nightlight and put it at the head of his bed. No luck! Now, the ONLY way to get him to sleep without him screaming for an hour (no joke!) is to have someone lay with him. It’s not that we mind laying with him, it’s just the mystery of the whole thing. You could say that he did it so that someone would lay with him, but we didn’t start out laying with him, so I’m ruling out that he’s a mad, genius who planned the whole thing and could see 4 steps into the future.
Seriously,
those of you with grown children
those of you with a degree in psychology
those of you with a degree in early childhood development
those of you who know how to make it appear “light” when it’s nighttime and you have 2 other boys in the room who need to sleep,
suggestions welcome!
Have a great day~
Thursday, October 16th 2008 at 6:38 pm |
Hi! I think I’m the queen of research when it comes to parenting. I trust my instincts, but like to see what others have to say as well. What I’ve gathered about toddler (2-3 years old) fears is that at that age, kids are beginning to realize (as a normal part of development) that the world isn’t a safe, cozy place that revolves around them anymore. As the youngest of nine kiddos, Luke Xavier probably doesn’t feel like the world revolves around him exactly, but I’m sure he always got lots of hugs, kisses, and all his needs met and he never doubted or questioned that. From what the kid psychologists say, at 2 or 3 years, kids see the world as a bigger place with endless possibilities- including new fears and worries. They are able to comprehend the idea of uncertainties in their life which can obviously be pretty scary! I was thinking that maybe he is trying to process Clay’s return and what it all means. Maybe he’s heard you or Clay talk about the deployment; maybe he understands a few words here or there, but can’t make sense of it all. He could be anxious that dad is not going to be there in the morning or something? My friend back in DC went through a hard time with her oldest daughter when her husband was deployed. He returned home when she was 3, and she had some fear issues too. Anytime her daughter heard the word “Iraq”, she would get angry, upset and cry.
As far as dealing with it, I’ve read in a few places that we should acknowledge our children’s fears and not belittle them (like saying, “Don’t be scared of the dark; that’s silly”). Putting in the night light was a good idea, and I think laying with him is good too. I’m not a big fan of letting kids cry it out or “toughening them up” by making them deal with their fears on their own. I think they will deal best with fears and overcome them if we help them and let them know we’re there for them. Not easy, and definitely draining at the end of the day, but it probably is the best way to go about it. Just my 2 cents.
Friday, October 17th 2008 at 7:48 pm |
Wow, Well, Since i am only and expert in Prayer, i will be doing all i can to send that LIGHT and Security to him.
(((HUG)))
Caitlyn is oding the Same thing!
xoxoxo, me*