Conversation and Thought

A couple of nights ago I had carpooled to a meeting with a neighbor.  We both hold small positions on the board of the NOSC (Naval Officers Spouse Club) and enjoy being involved.  We’d had a great meeting, done a little visiting and were in conversation as we headed to the car, when she said something that struck me.  She said that it’s our husband’s SSN’s that are asked for from us and not our own.  This stopped me in my tracks.  Even though I know this and can rattle off Clay’s SSN without thought and sometimes trip over my own, I had just never put it into a solid thought.  It led us to a discussion on identity.  There are so many strong, successful, brilliant women who are military spouses.  They’ve started businesses and written books.  There are so many amazing military spouses who have quietly followed their husband’s careers and patiently and lovingly set up each house, gotten the kids settled into new schools, joined the local social groups that keep their families feeling connected to their communities, even though they are dandelion fluffs who will be blown into a new place the moment someone takes a deep breath. They find the best restaurants, best neighborhoods, best schools, best boutiques and best friends.  And yet, there is, often deep down, the knowledge that we are following.  Our identity takes second place.  This is an interesting thing to dwell on at this time in my life.  

As military spouses, our identities can so easily become second to our husband’s career.  Where we live, where we shop and who we know is all wrapped up and determined (in some part) by what orders our husband’s have.  It can be difficult to carve out a piece of life that is just ours, just about who we are.  I was amazed at how much thought this one statement provoked in me. I remembered that it was WHO military spouses are that made me start the Women and the Military series of shows.  I think I only got through 4 of the amazing women I had planned on interviewing.  Hmmm…..I think I need to dig out that list again and get in touch with some of the other women I had thought of.  Truly, military spouses are deeply amazing.  I’ve known women who actively support their husbands, raise the kids and run successful businesses.  Truly amazing!

Here’s to military spouses, who we are and what we do!

Have a great day~