Tags: change, children, Doing the Dance of the Children, Good Stuff, kids, M.O.M.com, mom, Mommy of Many, personal hangups
For the last couple of months I’ve been keeping my anxiety and OCD tendencies at bay. I’ve spent plenty of time telling myself that there simply isn’t time to deal with my hang-ups and that I needed to push through the issues of each day and all the crazy, anxiety-filled stuff that’s been thrown at me lately.
I had to get my kids through the end of their school year, quit my job, be ready to move out of the house I’d been in for the last 10 yrs, look for a place in one area, found out I would not be moving to that area and that I had no movers coming to move all my family’s things, found storage, packed everything with the help of a loving support system, became homeless and jobless, packed my kids into my van and drove to a friend’s house in N. Cal., was without my kids for a week while they traveled with their dad, had a mini identity crisis, started looking for houses in N. Cal., stopped looking for houses in N. Cal., looked for schools, back to the house searching…
So, I’ve found a couple of houses in the area I want my kids to live and go to school. Now I’ve finished a rental application, which took a lot of self-talk because I haven’t had to apply to live anywhere in about 13 yrs and now I sit here with a finished application and I’m going to give into my OCD tendencies and walk it in instead of scanning it and emailing it. I’ve pushed myself through so many things that made me nervous that I’m going to allow myself this. I just feel like it’s better to walk in and hand everything over instead of being a faceless email. Will it matter? Who knows! Will I feel better? Yes!
I’m seriously so nervous about getting into a place that this is the way for me to salve my anxiety. Gonna do it!
After I deliver this app, I’m going to continue to look at houses. I really really need to get into a place and get this whole next phase of life going. School is looming around the corner for my kids and I need to get settled. Let’s hope it all falls into place!
Doing the Dance of the Children and Allowing Myself Some Leeway~