In exactly 6 days, it will have been one year since I got the keys to this house. One year!
I’ve spent most of this last year feeling like it was too-good-to-be-true. Every month I’d drop off the rent check (that was scrimped and saved and planned for. To make rent, I have to put away a few hundred $’s toward the end of each month for the following month’s due). Then I’d write the checks or schedule the online payments for the utilites. And each month, I’d feel proud and relieved that I’d made it. But I recently realized that I wasn’t settling in. I wasn’t acting like I “lived” here. Sure, I’ve had plenty of gatherings and celebrated special events, but I resisted some of the things that would make me let go of the ever-present fear of NOT being able to live here.
As my lease’s end loomed in front of me, I feared the phone call that would tell me that I would have to move or that the rent would be raised beyond my ability. When I heard nothing, I decided to make the phone call to the property management company and ask the scary questions. What did I find out? There will be NO changes. I can request another year’s lease, or go month-to-month, from here.
That news made me let go of the fear I’ve been carrying around for the last year and start to REALLY settle in. I gathered up the kiddos, borrowed and bought some yard tools, grass seed, Miracle Gro and gloves and we got to work! I hadn’t rolled up my sleeves and hit the yard since we’ve moved in and it felt SO good! Next up, buying some flowers! I’ve always, ALWAYS had potted flowers and plants in my yards. When I moved, I gave them all away because I had NO idea what kind of living situation I’d have. I’ve missed them!
So now that I know I’ll be starting my 2nd year here, it’s time to make it feel more like home. I’m looking forward to it!
Doing the Dance of the Children~