Mommy of Many®

I just had this conversation with Tristan;

Tristan-MOM! Lex says he’s going to be a pirate when he grows up. A pirate! He’ll get arrested, hung and die!

Me-Hey Lex, you wanna be a pirate, huh? Tristan, it’s gonna be ok! Chances of him ACTUALLY becoming a pirate are pretty slim. If it happens, we can have a different conversation with him. But for right now, let’s just let him dream. Remember when you used to tell me you were going to go to the Island of Metra Nui and be an explorer? You said you’d really miss us all, but that it was just what you were gonna have to do.

Tristan-Yes (a little slumped over).

Me-I never told you that you couldn’t go, did I? I just let you dream about it. I bet you’re not still thinking it’s something you’re gonna do, right?

Tristan-Right (again with the slumpiness)

Me-So let’s just let him dream.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Trying to Keep Their Dreams Alive!

Since yesterday afternoon there’s been a whole lotta parenting going on! What is it about getting home from school that brings out the beast in these kids? After listening to and being drug into the bickering for a couple of hours, I put on my M.O.M. thinking cap, told them to get their shoes on and sent them to do laps on the bike trail. Only Max (8) and Gabi (6) were awarded the consequence. After fighting and annoying each other, they became running buddies and kept pace with each other for each of the laps. When Gabi earned an additional lap, Max piped in that he would be doing it with her. Afterward they came in, used teamwork to unload and sort the shoe basket and then made up a fun game that kept them happy and busy. Someone pointed out that exercise releases endorphins, which in turn makes people (kiddos included) happier. Perhaps I should make everyone come home, drop their back packs and give me 5 laps on a daily basis. Hmmmm…

After all that was over I suggested they do puzzles. Good one M.O.M! Check out his ambitious mess!

He proudly completed one! Guess what I’ll be doing today.

As the little ones were playing I found Maddi in the freezer, for the zillionth time, to get Otter Pops. When I told her she’d had quite enough she responded with, “Mom, there are never enough Otter Pops, just like there’s never enough sangria. Are you gonna blog that?” Uh…She makes me laugh!

So this morning I woke with a full-blown, mouth-breathing, runny-nosed cold. Tristan has the same and is home from school. We’ll do puzzles, drink lots of fluids and fill the house with our Darth Vader-sounding breathing. Nice! I’m glad we’re facing a long weekend so we can get some rest…maybe.

Something I didn’t miss showed up here this morning-Angry/mouthy teenager. Seriously?! Go back to your lair! There was anger because the washing machine wasn’t working the way it should and I was gonna be the one to pay. Guess who isn’t going anywhere on this holiday weekend. I’m so done with getting yelled at, having doors slammed at me and being called a lovely variety of names!

Anyway, Doing the Dance sometimes means more parenting than others. I guess I’m getting a healthy dose in.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

I don’t know exactly what happened this morning, but I feel like I wasn’t running it at all. My alarm went off, I got up and quickly realized that I really couldn’t get started yet. I reset the alarm and fell instantly asleep. When it went off again I was mad! Mad! I couldn’t believe that the alarm on my phone was broken and going off at the wrong time. I looked at the time and realized it was me that was broken. I heard one of the older girls get up and I knew I’d better quickly get going or she was going to think something was seriously wrong. The lights are always on, the coffee going and I’m either on the computer or making lunches when she gets up. So I stumbled out and got going. Wow! I’m really off this morning.

I’m hoping a shower and some coffee will make me feel like myself again. I guess all the driving and juggling of schedules (not that it’s new for me) is getting to me. You’d think I was the one running the mile in P.E. then going to water polo practice and then heading to soccer. I sure hope this is just a need to get used to it all again and not a sign of getting old (er). So, coffee, food and a shower and I’m hoping to get it all back in line and get this day off to a better start. Though I’ll admit, Saturday can’t get here soon enough!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

I really have to watch my kids. They run the spectrum from demanding to overly frugal. I just picked up my elementary school kiddos and noticed Tristan’s sandal looked funny. I asked him to pick up his foot & show me his shoe. You’re seeing what I saw. I appreciate him trying to maximize the wear from his sandals, but come on! There’s such a thing as overdoing frugal!

So into the trash went his sandals and I added “sandals for Tristan” to my ever-growing list of things to buy.

Doing the Dance of the Children, Shoes & All~

I LOVE this!!!!

Max came home on the 1st day of school and told me about this system in his classroom. His teacher also explained it to me and let me know that Max was already using the “Compliment Card” and the “Breaking News!” forms. In the last couple of days Max has received Compliment Cards from classmates. He’s LOVING this! Even better are the Breaking News! forms, because it enables a kiddo like Max, who has a really tough time NOT speaking his mind the very moment an idea or story pops into his head, to jot down what he has to say and to feel confident that when the teacher or parent who gets the form, has time, they will give it proper attention.

Max’s teacher let me know that he promptly grabbed a stack of each form, to be ready for when he would need them. Today he brought some home so I could utilize this great system at home.

The third form is “Tattling Turtle” and is to be used when a child feels upset about something or is having a problem with someone or something. GREAT! Now, if I can make a zillion copies, wallpaper the walls of my home in them, hand each kiddo a pencil and listen to their closed mouths and scribbling pencils! If only~

Seriously, I love the idea of this program for all kids, not just my super verbal, “I’ve got an idea”, Asperger’s kiddo. I hope he uses the forms at school AND at home and I’m open to my other kiddos using them too!

Here’s to great ideas that bring the hope of a little peace in the home and classroom!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Always Searching for a Better Way~

I’ve been getting lots of questions about my oldest 3, who are away at school. Here’s an update with what I have to share;

Kateri spent her summer interning at the National Right to Life in DC. She finished up this last week and headed to New York to meet up with Mariah, spend the weekend with her, drive her to Rhode Island to get some schooling issues wrapped up and then deliver her to her roommate in Boston (I think). She’s then heading back to Ohio for her final year of school there. I’m sad that she can’t come out to see the new house before school starts, but we are in daily contact and I’m happy she was able to help Mariah out! I’m hoping to see her at Christmas!

Kateri’s in the coral dress

This is what JJ (Clayton) looked like the last time I saw him, in May. He did some working and traveling this summer. He was working on a ranch in Oklahoma and is now at Wyoming Catholic. It’s been nearly 3 weeks since I’ve heard anything at all from him. The school has a 3 week backpacking trek as their Frosh Orientation. I can’t wait to hear all about it! He took a year off of school for travel and work, so both he and Mariah are Freshmen this year.

Mariah stayed in San Diego for the summer to work. She just left last week and went to New York to attend the Ring Dance for the Coast Guard Academy with her boyfriend, Richard. Kateri met her in New York and then drove her to school to get some things wrapped up. She then delivered her to her roommate’s house until they travel to school together. I’m hoping she has a wonderful college experience and I sure hope to go out and be able to visit at some point.

I love that my kids are comfortable with traveling and going off to whichever school they feel best fits them. The Gypsy Wind that blows through my soul has certainly whispered in my kids’ ears. But…I sure do miss them! I love to see these amazing people, living their lives. I hope Christmas gets here quickly so I can have everyone together again!

Doing the Dance of the Children, Even the One’s Who are Far Away~

In my life-long quest to never be late, I am often accused of being anxious about time. This would be true!

When I was growing up, we were late to EVERYTHING. My mom did not and does not think schedules are important and I often heard her say things to the effect of, “I have 9 children…”. Even before I had 9 children of my own, I was determined to be on time or early to everything. I’ve done a fairly good job of making that happen, but in the process, I’ve made my kids hate me in the mornings. I am always budgeting the minutes in each day and dolling them out in a miserly fashion. One of my children has picked up this trait and he watches time to the very minute. I appreciate this!

This morning was the first day of me getting all the kids to all their schools. Until now, the girls have had a morning carpool. They will continue to get rides 2 days a week, but today was all me. Last night I let all the kids know that we needed to leave at 7 on the dot. This morning I woke each of them to, “Good morning. it’s time to get up and get going. We need to leave right at 7.” I probably reminded them of the 7:00 leaving time another 3 times before 7:00 actually got here. Overkill? Yeah, probably, but it’s what I do. So, 7 rolls around, Gabi doesn’t have her shoes on, Max is playing with Legos and Lex is building a marble track. My heart started racing, my tone completely changed and I started hustling everyone through what they still needed to do. We were in the van at 7:06. Completely unacceptable by my OCD standards. I gave them the speech about the importance of being on time and that I gave them ample notice of the morning’s schedule. We drove over to the high school, dropped the girls where they asked and drove away. I looked at the clock-7:14. I started thinking, “Wow! That didn’t take long at all!” (my girls used to go to school 15 miles away from our house and I’d have to drive them to school and then get the other kids to school and myself to work by 8am. I tell you this to give you a lil insight into where my mind was). Then I started driving toward Max’s school. I knew that there were 15 minutes before the earliest time he could be dropped off. I knew it wasn’t going to take me 15 minutes to get there. Hmmm…. So we drove to the school and toured the neighborhood. I announced that we had 10 minutes before Max could be dropped off. Lex piped up, “Mom, if we have 10 minutes then you got mad about nothing this morning”. ~Sigh~ Leave it to the 5 yr old to hand you a bag full of truth. I said, “Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t know we’d have so much time. I’m sorry I got upset. You all did fine”. Lex replied, “It’s ok. It was just nothing”. I dropped Max off, drove over to the other school, parked, tied Gabi’s shoes, walked Gabi to class, met a mom who’s daughter is in Gabi’s class, walked Lex to class, kissed him goodbye and drove away. All with time to spare.

Live and learn!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Watching the Clock~

What a week! Everyday of this life as M.O.M. keeps me Doing the Dance of the Children, but with the start of school, this week held extra Dancing. The first day of school went as smoothly as we could expect when living in an area for only a week and juggling 2 elementary schools that are on the same bell schedule. I got Tristan, Gabi and Lex to their school and Max and I waited outside the classroom with Lex until the teacher came out. All the other parents were full of a mix of emotions. You could see the pride, excitement and that twinge of sadness as their lil ones headed to the line for their first day of being a “big” kindergartener. Me? Well I was anxious for her to hurry up and open the dang door already so I could get Max over to his school on HIS 1st day and not have him be late. Yes, I took pictures, hugged my lil guy and told him what a great time he was going to have, but I was toe-tapping for the moment I could dash out of there. Sure enough, I got Max to his school and everyone was already seated at their desks. ~Sigh~ His teacher knows that I’m single-parenting and juggling 2 elementary schools, so she’s forgiving. Thank goodness!

1st Day 2011-Lex Kinder, Gabi 1st, Max 3rd, Tristan 6th

Lex on his 1st day of Kinder. My lil guy’s a big boy!

Gabi on her 1st day of 1st grade. Beauty!

Lex in front of his classroom, pointing to his name

I have to add that Max is also very forgiving. I was worried when I had to tell him that he was going to be in a separate school from his siblings. But I think the key to having him be ok is giving him as much information as possible and presenting it in a positive way. His teacher seems GREAT! She called me after the 1st day to give me a rundown on how Max did and what she observed. We discussed his particular needs, strengths and challenges. She seems compassionate to his needs and determined to help him have a successful year. I couldn’t ask for more. So far, he seems happy. He has expressed that he wishes he knew more kids, but I know that will come. There have only been 3 days of school, these things take time!

The other kids seem ok too. Lex is happy with his teacher and class. He’s a really easy-going kid and he plays easily with other kids, so I don’t doubt that he’ll make friends quickly and be a happy kindergartener. Gabi says that kindergarten was harder than 1st grade. We’ll see how she feels in a few weeks, but I do know that the curriculum and expectations were more rigorous at the last school. I have mixed feeling about that. Wait, that’s not the truth. The truth is that I’m sad that I can’t give the kids the level of education they’ve become used to. But I can’t beat myself up over it. Even if we stayed in San Diego and even if I wasn’t getting divorced, that education could no longer be afforded. So I have to accept this change and trust that the kids will be ok. At this time it’s all I can do. If things change in the future, I’ll revisit the subject.

That brings me to the 2nd day of school. THAT was a juggling act! I had to leave the night of the 1st day of school so that I could be in San Diego for our settlement hearing the next day. We had come to an agreement the night before, but the trip still had to be taken because papers had to be signed and an appearance still had to be made. I chose to live in this area for many reasons. I didn’t choose this lightly. I weighed cost of living, schools and the fact that I would have a ready-made support system of friends and family in place. That support system proved itself this week! My sister came to stay with the kids overnight and then got them to school the next day. Then my friend, Jen (who has been more than any friend could be expected to be over these last 6 weeks) came to do the pick ups. Once the older girls were home from school (btw-we’ve been plugged into a carpool by a great group of ladies who have stepped up to help me have a little time to get settled. A friend from high school happens to have a high schooler at my girls’ school AND lives in my new neighborhood. She got us set up with a carpool and also walked baked goods over…YES! THAT is Good Stuff!), they took over for the evening and I flew back in late that night. Whew! Doing the Dance for sure!

While I was in San Diego I managed to see several people, get all the important paperwork done, appear in court, run errands and meet up at Costa Brava with friends before heading to the airport. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Costa Brava? No? It was great to pop in for a little while, enjoy some tapas, sangria and wine and be treated to a round of creme brulee shots and my favorite dessert…I’d tell you what it is, but I have NO idea how to spell it. It’s vanilla ice cream with a burnt top, like creme brulee and it sits on a bed of sliced strawberries. YUM! That restaurant is so warm and welcoming! It always feels like a home away from home and the food is Mmmmm! So good! If you haven’t gone, you should!

Great ladies and our round of creme brulee shots

Enjoying that dessert!

I got home late, picked up the house (it’s amazing what 6 kids can do to a place when left alone for the after-school/dinner/bedtime hours) set my alarm for 4:15 and went to bed.

The kiddos were happy to wake up and find me there and ready to get the routine rolling. I made lunches, signed papers and heard all about the girls’ high school classes. Then it was off to school and time for this M.O.M. to tackle more of this house. The kids headed off for a weekend camping trip with their dad and my brother and I tried to get my head around what tasks I should complete while I have no little ones demanding my attention. But first, I went and played Bunco! I’ve been invited to join a group and was happy to get into something social. In the last 2 years, I had really pulled away from all the social activities I was used to being a part of. I’m enjoying jumping in again!

Everything is coming along nicely. We’re settling in and I’m hoping it all starts to feel homey and “regular” soon. I’m EVER grateful to all the wonderful people who have made this transition as smooth as possible. I truly couldn’t ask for better people in my life.

So, I’ve stocked the kitchen, unpacked more boxes, hung more decor and am preparing for a load of dirty, stinky, tired kiddos to arrive at sometime tomorrow. It’ll be my job to clean them up, wash the dirty clothes and convince them to go to bed to be ready for school on Monday morning. Wish me luck!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Grateful For The Music~

Normally the night before the 1st day of school is full of nervous butterflies, back packs lined up, clothes folded and waiting at the end of the bed, etc. Not this one! The day’s been so full and at 10pm we are just finally home from soccer, dinner with friends, picking Maddi up from her flight from San Diego and getting soccer carpool home. There are no carefully planned outfits ready and waiting and no new back packs full of new school supplies. Tristan and Gabi will be using their back packs from last year, Lex isn’t allowed to bring one and Max will be needing a new one. The school supply shopping will have to wait until this weekend and I’ll think about the lunches at 4am. Tonight will be used to finish filling out the paperwork that Lex’s teacher sent home with me from our meeting this morning. Yep, I’m going to be THAT mom, you know-the one with the excuses for why my kids won’t be ready until next week. Ugh! There’s really nothing I can do about it.

I took Lex to meet his teacher this morning. She seems like just the right kind of Kindergarten teacher. He felt very at ease and is excited to be in the “Dinosaur” class. It seems that the schools around here assign animals to the classrooms. I don’t know what Gabi or Tristan will be, but Max (who’s at a separate elementary school from the other 3 kids ) will be a “Gator”. He and I went to his school and met with his teacher today. She was really great. I gave her a quick overview of Max, who he is and what to expect of and from him. She gave me a hug and told me she promised to love him. A strange, but welcome response. I do think it’s going to be ok. I really do. Why think of it any other way? I did everything I could to get everyone in the same school and no matter what, Max ended up elsewhere. I have to decide that this is a piece in the Big Puzzle of Our Lives that I just don’t have the picture on the box for. So…tomorrow morning the Dance of the Children will, once again, be done with a wake up time of 4am, a crock pot meal prepared, lunches lined up on the counter and dashing out the door around 7am. No problem! We’ve got this!

Now to digest the fact that my baby, my last lil guy, is off to Kindergarten. He’s totally ready and I can’t really say I’m not. It’s so good for him to be in the structured environment of school and here, as opposed to San Diego, Kindergarten is 1/2 day. He’ll go till noon until after Thanksgiving. Then they modify the day and he’ll get out at 1:20. It’s going to make for a year of juggling and Dancing, but again…I got it!

Now to spread out all this paperwork and get it done!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

In the midst of all my moving and trying to get kiddos set up for school that starts NEXT week, I had the opportunity to speak with Gretchen of MommyCast as a Mom Correspondent for the show. Check out the show here. And the topic?…Moving with children, of course!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Sharing the Good Stuff~

I love so many things about this new house but as I’ve really looked at everything, I’ve found a few little items that I have a feeling will end up giving me trouble. I didn’t expect the 1st one to happen on Day 1 of our move-in. But with kids, I guess you should always expect the unexpected!

This was me, yesterday. Though, the hands in the drawing look a lot calmer than mine did.

The kids’ bathroom has 2 doors into it. Both have locks. When I saw that, I KNEW that at some point there was going to be a kiddo who was going to think it was funny to lock both doors and leave. Gabi got the award. As soon as I saw her shut the door and she looked at me, I knew what had happened. I don’t have any tools at the house yet and there wasn’t a “hidden” key above either of the doors. So I loaded up the kiddos and was headed out to pick up a couple of screwdrivers. On the way out of the neighborhood I noticed a garage sale with a washer and dryer available. Whoo Hoo! I stopped to ask questions. Once we got talking I ended up sharing my locked bathroom story and my friendly, new neighbors handed me 2 screwdrivers to try out. Hooray for friendly and helpful neighbors! It took me about 1/2 an hour, but I got the knob off, the door unlocked and the knob replaced AND…I bought the washer and dryer! I’m excited to be able to start doing our laundry in the house.

Now to find a refrigerator and buy some screwdrivers to keep handy!

Doing the Dance of the Children, One Adventure at a Time~

The end of summer is around the corner and Skyzone Sports in Rocklin is making it easy to get a little last minute fun in before we all head back to school.

Come out Wednesday, August 10th for Skyzone Sports’ Customer Appreciation Day Event. Discount jump tickets will be offered all day and from 12-3pm you’re invited to participate in contests, giveaways, food offerings, face painting and more!

Join me and some of my kiddos for an afternoon of fun!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Getting Ready for Some Serious Jumping~

I can’t believe so many days got away from me! But each of them has been full of work and keeping the kids busy and entertained.

All the work has paid off in the housing area! We are getting the keys to our beautiful new home on Friday! We are all very excited to live in this house! I’ll post pics when I have some, but it’s a great house in a great and convenient area. Now for the work of getting everyone enrolled in schools and getting ready to unpack and set up when everything arrives. Clay offered to DITY the move so we don’t have to wait 3 or so weeks to get all of our stuff. Anna took him up on his offer and on Friday she will ride down with him to San Diego (I think that in addition to her wanting her things before school starts, that the added bonus of a trip back to SD motivated her pushiness). We should have all our belongings on Monday. Let the work begin!

Other than all the paper work and computer work I’ve been tackling, there’s been trips to the river, a swim lesson for Gabi and Lex, an overnight trip to Grandma & Grandpa’s, visiting with Auntie Peggie, trying to catch crawdads and lots of laundry.

Now the kiddos are headed out to a camping trip with their dad and I’m going to catch my breath, go through paper work, try to get school stuff in order, pack up all our belongings from our friends’ house that we’ve been staying in and try to be ready to tackle all that’s before me.

Dance, dance, dance! Doing the Dance of the Children even on the days that I’m on my own~

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and in it’s right time. This belief is the only thing keeping me from going crazy about not having a house yet. I’ve filled my days with looking for a house and keeping the kiddos busy and entertained.

We’ve had lots of fun visiting with family and friends and exploring new water play. My beach kids are getting introduced to the river. I’m much more nervous about this than they are. In fact my nerves are frazzled because they’re fearless! I’d like to instill a healthy dose of respectful fear! I’m ever grateful for the people who come into our lives each day and bring little doses of good things! Yesterday the kids got to participate in a little bit of fishing. Max was mesmerized! Fish! Real fish, straight from the water that are still alive! All 4 of my younger kids enjoyed learning about the process and being able to touch the fish as they came out of the water. Good Stuff!

I’m waiting on a phone call for a house I’ve put an application on. Everything is hinging on getting into a house. I’ve got to get these kids registered in school! It starts in just a couple of weeks! Ugh! But my nerves get soothed by little things each day. Yesterday I heard a conversation between Tristan and Max. They were talking about “home”. Tristan said, “Home is where somebody loves you”.

This sentence from my 11 yr old to his younger brother made me feel so much better! They’re ok! They’re being kept busy and happy and they’re not as stressed as I worry they are. To let go and trust like a child is definitely a goal.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Waiting For it All To Fall Into Place

I’m taking a lil break from talking about life changes, moving, house-hunting, divorce, Aspergers, homelessness and being grateful for fabulous friends to point a huge neon arrow over to a lil preview on Itunes that features my eldest daughter, Kateri, singing with a friend of hers. I’ve always enjoyed listening to her sing and one of the things I’ve missed most in the last 5 years, since she left for college, is hearing her move through the house in song. Here’s a bit to share-enjoy the preview and think about downloading the entire song. Seriously, what’s .99¢?!

So Beautiful (feat. Kateri Lang)

Doing the Dance of the Children to the Sweet Sound of My Girl’s Voice~