Mommy of Many®

I’m taking a lil break from talking about life changes, moving, house-hunting, divorce, Aspergers, homelessness and being grateful for fabulous friends to point a huge neon arrow over to a lil preview on Itunes that features my eldest daughter, Kateri, singing with a friend of hers. I’ve always enjoyed listening to her sing and one of the things I’ve missed most in the last 5 years, since she left for college, is hearing her move through the house in song. Here’s a bit to share-enjoy the preview and think about downloading the entire song. Seriously, what’s .99¢?!

So Beautiful (feat. Kateri Lang)

Doing the Dance of the Children to the Sweet Sound of My Girl’s Voice~

3 things that are on my mind about being in Nor Cal this morn

1) Sprouts is Henry’s. I kept hearing about this great, new grocery store that I was going to HAVE to try out because of it’s GREAT deals and awesome produce. I was even given a coupon to try it out. So the other day I added it to my list of shopping stops. The second I walked in, I knew I’d like it-because it’s a store I’ve been going to for over 10 yrs! Henry’s IS Sprouts. Now that I think of it, when I’d write a check to Henry’s it would clear as Sprouts. This makes me happy because Henry’s has always been seriously Good Stuff! Yea for familiarity within all my change!

2) The property management company called this morning to say that they’ve received all they need for my application and will begin the process. They said it looks like an easy app and will take 1-5 days, depending on how quickly references get back to them. *fingers crosses*, prayers offered! Everyone cross and pray along with me!

3) Traffic…this is my only complaint so far. What the heck is up with stubborn people getting in the fast lane and driving 60-65?! Come on people!!!! You get where you want to be A LOT faster if you just find 75 and go! It’s really the one thing that’s got me up in arms. Since 1997 I’ve been driving in So Cal traffic on the 5 and I got comfortable with traffic moving at 75 mph. You didn’t dare drive in the fast lane at under 80 mph and everyone got where they wanted to be, easily and quickly. Try it. I promise you’ll like it!

So now that I know my application is in the processing phase, I can move on with planning the day for the kids. The morning chores are done and I think we’ll pack up and find some fun.

Doing the Dance of the Children With My Fingers Crossed & My Lead Foot Itchy~

I’m busily taking breakfast orders from the kids and trying to hurry them along to get ready for church. I think at least one of them is going through a growth spurt because he’s eating like a football player. They’re all sleeping in later but I think that’s because they’re spending each day playing hard and going to bed late.

I’m still looking for a house and have an application in on one we’d really like to get. I’m have no shortage of impatience while I wait to hear. If it’s not this one, we have one other we’re waiting to see, but we don’t like the location as much. I have to hold onto the belief that the right house will be the one we get.

We’ve spent our days enjoying the sunshine, finding plenty of places for water play and getting used to the idea that we have so much family nearby. The other day we got to spend the afternoon and evening with cousins for a birthday celebration. It made me so happy to see my kids running around with their 2nd cousins. I’m kicking myself for not snapping pictures, but I was just so glad to see their happy faces that I didn’t even think about the camera. We’ve spent a lot of years away from family because of living the military life. Now that we’ve left that part of our life behind, it’s nice to be able to walk into an environment with a ready made support system full of family and friends. It’s good for all of us!

So today it’s off to church and then my sister and her husband are coming for a visit. There’s a possibility that my mom will come by this evening. So I have to say that even though the heaviness of finding a house and getting the kids settled into school is hanging over my head, there’s still a lot of good stuff happening.

Focusing on the Good Stuff!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

For the last couple of months I’ve been keeping my anxiety and OCD tendencies at bay. I’ve spent plenty of time telling myself that there simply isn’t time to deal with my hang-ups and that I needed to push through the issues of each day and all the crazy, anxiety-filled stuff that’s been thrown at me lately.
Let’s recap;

I had to get my kids through the end of their school year, quit my job, be ready to move out of the house I’d been in for the last 10 yrs, look for a place in one area, found out I would not be moving to that area and that I had no movers coming to move all my family’s things, found storage, packed everything with the help of a loving support system, became homeless and jobless, packed my kids into my van and drove to a friend’s house in N. Cal., was without my kids for a week while they traveled with their dad, had a mini identity crisis, started looking for houses in N. Cal., stopped looking for houses in N. Cal., looked for schools, back to the house searching…

So, I’ve found a couple of houses in the area I want my kids to live and go to school. Now I’ve finished a rental application, which took a lot of self-talk because I haven’t had to apply to live anywhere in about 13 yrs and now I sit here with a finished application and I’m going to give into my OCD tendencies and walk it in instead of scanning it and emailing it. I’ve pushed myself through so many things that made me nervous that I’m going to allow myself this. I just feel like it’s better to walk in and hand everything over instead of being a faceless email. Will it matter? Who knows! Will I feel better? Yes!

I’m seriously so nervous about getting into a place that this is the way for me to salve my anxiety. Gonna do it!

After I deliver this app, I’m going to continue to look at houses. I really really need to get into a place and get this whole next phase of life going. School is looming around the corner for my kids and I need to get settled. Let’s hope it all falls into place!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Allowing Myself Some Leeway~

I didn’t mean to let so many days go by without writing about what’s going on. The days are full of keeping the kiddos busy, looking at houses and heading to bed late, wishing I’d gotten more done. But each day has held Good Stuff-visiting with family and friends, touring the Empire Mine, swimming…

What I had to key into is the fact that I get this unique, little piece of time to spend on my kids in a way that I don’t usually get. When I’m at home with them there’s all the housework and running around that needs to be done. Yes, I’m WITH them each day, but I don’t get uninterrupted time to just focus on them. I’ve WISHED for time like this! Granted, I didn’t wish that it meant I was homeless and living off of the good graces of others, but you need to notice your blessings when they’re in front of you! This time isn’t going to last long (right?!), so I need to enjoy it while it’s here. Before I know it I’ll be knee-deep in unpacking a house, homework and sports schedules.

Encouraging us all to see the blessings in each day.

Max Ta Shunke Witko (Crazy Horse) under his namesake’s bar sign in Nevada City

Tristan (very excited about his meal) at lunch with family

Me and the kiddos at the Empire Mine

Gabi and Lex checking out the Reflecting Pool at the Empire Mine

Doing the Dance of the Children~

I am so so grateful for the doors that have been opened to us and the support that I’ve been given. The fact that the kids and I have a comfortable, safe place to stay and plenty of fun activities to fill up our days is a HUGE gift. We’ve spent this week keeping busy.

On Tuesday I realized that the schools in this area start a lot earlier than the schools in San Diego and that I better make some decisions and get some plans in motion. I spent Tuesday afternoon and some of Wednesday narrowing down what I want in schools for my kids and came up with, what I believe to be, the best area for my kids to go to school in. On Thursday the kids and I went to the district office to ask questions and get information. After gathering what info we could, I realized that there really isn’t much that can be done without an address.

*tapping my fingers*

I really wasn’t sure what to do. For all technical intense and purposes, our official status is Jobless and Homeless. Those are not 2 labels anyone wants to wear. And when you DO wear those labels, there are many, many choices you just don’t have. Where to send your kiddos to school happens to be one of the choices you might have to give up.

So I spent the rest of the day wanting desperately to move forward, but not seeing anyway to do it. Then…I got a phone call from Clay. He said he’d gotten a job offer and that he could be leaving as early as this coming Monday. We talked about the schools I’m looking at. We talked about what I want for the kids. We talked about how VERY VERY grateful I am to the beautiful people who have been placed into my life and the lives of my children. By the end of the conversation I realized I would, indeed, have the power to go find a place to live for myself and the children, if he, in fact, has or takes this job. I started searching property listings and by this morning I’d made appointments to view houses.

I spent a couple hours keeping the kiddos busy at the pool and then settled them into the house and the dinnertime schedule and left to go see a house.

NOPE! Not the one. Too small. Great area, but we’d be stacked in there a little too tightly for comfort. So the search continues. I say this, not even being sure that Clay is actually leaving for this job. Hmmm…well, I have to keep moving forward, the best I can. The kids need and really, really want answers to what this next school year holds and I keep getting asked when I’m going to go get our things out of storage. I’m just as antsy as they are for the next phase of our lives to begin and to settle into whatever our new routine is going to be.

But I’m so thankful for the little bits we can count on right now and the friends who’ve helped to provide them! Arianna has joined a soccer team and is meeting girls from the area. Having her stay busy and be focused on something is GREAT! She was even able to go with a friend’s family to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie, last night. Good Stuff!

I’m doing all that I can with so much unknown. School starts in a month. I’ll have Maddi back! All 6 kiddos will be together (the older 3 will be off to college) and I’m hoping we have a house full of boxes that are being unpacked.

That’s it! That’s all I can do-keep moving forward with a plan and hope and pray it falls into place. It will. It has so far. Yes, it’s different than I would have chosen, but we are all doing fine and the future is full of Good Stuff waiting to happen.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Hoping to do it in My Own Home Soon~

It was a beautiful day out and we got to spend it in the sunshine with friends. We enjoyed lots of pool time and in the evening we headed into the yard to make S’mores. A great summer’s day!

Starting the day off

Lex, chillin’ in the pool

Ending the day with summertime S’mores

It was a great day!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier to see my kids, a ton of their stuff and know that I have at least a week, if not 2 or more, of the solid work of being M.O.M. as I am tonight. They rolled in, got unloaded, changed into swimwear and jumped in the pool. I immediately got them unpacked, threw the dirty laundry into the washer and mentally prepared the dinner that Gabi had requested.

Over the last week, one of the things I’ve recognized about myself is that I NEED, N-E-E-D to be of service to others. When the kids were gone I found myself picking up whatever I could wander around and find to pick up, switching the laundry of the family I’m staying with and doing dishes. Relaxation is not my strong point. When the chores were done and I had time to sit down, I found myself struggling with feelings of inadequacy. Not good!

I’m going to have to work on those things. But tonight, I get to be back in my element and take care of my kids. It felt so good to watch them play and to make plans for tomorrow. One of my older kids is here now and I’m excited that her day got filled with things she enjoys. A friend of mine with kids who keep busy with sports, called to invite Arianna to come out and play soccer with her daughter’s team tomorrow. Happy! Happy! Happy! She’s also been hired to do a little work for another friend and work=money, which makes her happy. Yea!

So now that swimming, playing, dinner and a trip to 7-11 for free Slurpees is done, the kids are in their pjs, have brushed their teeth, said their prayers and are all lying next to each other watching a movie. I can sigh with contentment and call it a day.

Good Stuff!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

It’s often hardest to talk when there’s the most to say.

I’ve spent 3 1/2 days without my kids. They are having a GREAT time at their grandparents’ with their dad. I love to hear their happy voices and listen to all they have to tell me about each days’ adventures. But I’m ready for the timer to go off and for them to be back. Having them take a trip to Grandma’s is nothing new, but since all the circumstances have changed, it’s making me antsy.

I still have no answers about where we’ll be living after this Summer Adventure is over and with all that’s unsettled, they are my constant-my sure thing. I’m ready to have them back and fill my day with the purpose I’ve always had.

Tough stuff!

For now, I’m living in the now and doing my best to make that good enough. The answers to all the rest will come. Even though I’m sure of that, it doesn’t make me want to settle into my next phase any less. I’m ready for the answers to what tomorrow is bringing and ready to do what’s in my power to settle into it all. If only I knew what that was.

~sigh~

One-Day-At-A-Time…

Doing the Dance of the Children, Whether They’re Here or Not~

I’ve always been a planner. I thrive on setting a schedule and holding to it. Knowing what’s coming and how it’s going to happen is how I’ve lived my adult life and how I’ve run my household, even creating a daily Morning Memo so that everyone in the house could wake to the plan of the day and know what was coming and what was expected of them.

If there’s one lesson I’m being forced to learn and adopt in all this change is to let go of the control of planning my day. Every day I wake to wondering what’s coming and when. I’m getting better at rolling with it. But it doesn’t mean I don’t still want it. So, I set a plan in my head and then have to make new plans as things change.

Today the plan was that Clay would pick the kids up and head out to his parents’ for the week. There ended up being too many loose ends in SD for him to leave yet. So now I’m filling the day for the kids and figuring out tomorrow too. Right now they are enjoying the pool and later it’s a rousing trip to Target for a few essentials. This evening I get to go to dinner with 2 girl friends while a brave and compassionate husband watches all the kiddos. That is Good Stuff!

Here’s to learning to live outside our comfort zone and roll with what the Gypsy Wind blows our way.

Doing the Dance of the Children-With or Without a Plan~

Yesterday, while we were driving away from the only house Max has ever lived in, he says to me-”Mom, moving is like picking up a handful of acorns and dropping them and watching them all scatter”.

I love the insights into Max’s way of thinking.

Scattered acorns will plant themselves where they fall and become mighty oaks!

Good Stuff~

I woke up this morning as usual-early and w/ my 2 youngest cuddled up to me in bed. Then I looked around and remembered that we were on the 1st day of our new adventure. I laid there and listened to the sleepy sounds of my 4 kiddos. They had been worn out by a long drive (10 hrs in the van) and then a bunch of trampoline jumping, bike and scooter riding and running around with friends. I knew they were pretty worn out. They slept through me showering, getting ready for the day and running out for coffee. I came back to them eating waffles in their pjs.

A good friend of mine has taken us in and made us comfortable. The kids have a place for their clothes, a room to sleep in and plenty of fun, outdoor play to enjoy. Her family is easy-going and welcoming and I feel like the luckiest, homeless, jobless, in the middle-of-a-divorce girl on the planet. Seriously!

So we start this adventure off with packing a lunch and heading out to meet my parents for a few hours of visiting and park play. I have no idea what we’ll do this afternoon, but I know it will likely involve being outside.

Tomorrow Clay is coming with Arianna to get the kids and the van and head to his family for 4th of July celebrating. The kids are looking forward to more adventure and family fun.

I’m confident that there is a Big Plan in play here. That God knows exactly how this chess game is going and I’m willing to continue being His pawn. It’s summertime and we have a couple of places to go. So we’re going to enjoy family and friends, the outdoors and following the Gypsy Wind of each day as it unfolds. Jobs and where we will settle will come. I know it!

Doing the Dance of the Children on a Summer Day~

I woke up this morning feeling anxious about all that still needs to be done. Things need to be listed on Craigslist/much packing still needs to happen/the yard has to be mowed/The playroom-well, let’s not talk about THAT!/2 cars need oil changes/I have to go to the PO to have mail forwarded/Call TimeWarner & have the cable disconnected/2 kiddos have dental appts this morn/Max has GATE testing this morn/Lex’s shot record needs to be updated…EEK!!!!!

Let’s not forget that it’s Arianna’s 16th bday!

One step at a time. Clay’s off to the dentist with Gabi and Lex. Max and I are getting dressed and ready to leave for testing. He was so funny about it! He grabbed a red shirt and said that he was going to wear it because those people usually wear red. ??? I had NO idea what he was talking about. After much confusing conversation, it came down to the fact that I’d never explained WHAT GATE testing is. So he thought he was going to get tested to be a crossing guard. Ah Ha! Hence the red shirt. Now he understands it’s going to be a test to see what classes he should be placed in. I’m impressed with the fact that he wasn’t freaked out about getting tested on something he’s never done! Awesome kid!

I’m relieved to know I have someone coming to help with a little packing. Anyone wanna join in?! Come on over! I’ll buy lunch. Seriously, I just don’t know how this is all gonna get done by Thursday. Prayer?!

Doing the Dance of the the Children/Change/Moving~

Today-I was up a couple hours before anyone else, so I did laundry, dishes, made coffee and cleaned out the drawers in my bathroom. Then I got dressed, drove the van to the GoodWill drop box and unloaded some giveaway bags. If there’s one REALLY good thing about moving, it’s gotta be getting rid of stuff! I then headed to Starbucks and met up with a group that I know is there every morning. During that little visit, I got a phone call from the kid’s dentist asking if I was on my way-NOPE! Dang it! I rescheduled for tomorrow morning. Then it was off to an appointment and to rent a storage unit. I got all that done and decided that I better stop to eat something before I became completely useless. Then there was a trip to the bank and finally, I made it home to pack, pack, pack.

Whew!

The packing is going to continue into the night and begin again first thing in the morn. Anyone who doesn’t want to miss out on the fun is invited to come by and join in!

The kids have spent the day outside, playing with neighbors. This is a 2nd good thing about moving-there’s really not much for them to do in the house, so they’ve been outside, using their imaginations and having fun. Good Stuff! I’d take pics, but there’s really not time!

Now to get them inside to wash up and eat the very last meal that I’m cooking in this house-Chicken Curry!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Packing~

For the last week, I’ve been going through this house, that 11 people have shared over the last 10 years, and opening the cupboards and closets and getting them cleaned out and organized so that when the movers came it would be easy to pack. Then I found out there wouldn’t be any movers/packers. I spent a day in freak-out mode, wondering how the heck I was going to get this place done, but then I stopped, took a deep breath and kept going. Then, I found out that Clay lost his job and that we would no longer be moving to Sonoma County. Ok! Well, to be honest, I really didn’t want to move there anyway, so I decided I’d look at this as a positive. Sure, come Thursday we will all technically join the ranks of the jobless and homeless, BUT everything will go into storage and I will pack my kiddos up and drive to friends and family. It Summer, after-all and a little bit of gypsy-ism is going to be just fine! I happen to be the fortunate recipient of an amazing friend who has opened her family’s door to us (you can all remember to offer prayers of thanksgiving for her and her family, on my behalf). I do not believe we will be left without a place to go and once I’m able to sit down and think for a few minutes, I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with a plan. Until then, I continue to clean out the cupboards and closets and as soon as Clay arrives and purchases boxes, the actual packing of stuff will begin.

Plus, there’s still all the regular kiddo stuff going on. Mariah is still working and needing rides. Maddi and Anna still want to visit with friends, take tennis lessons, have going-away and bday parties and go to the fair. The 4 youngest kept busy, this last week, with VBS and play dates.

And on Tuesday I take Max for GATE testing. I still have to keep him in the forefront of my mind and know that as much of a regular routine as I’m able to keep, while we go through this move, will do him (and everyone) good. Once I have the results of his testing, I can seek out schools that will be able to offer him the best options.

So, I’m sipping my coffee and listening to the sounds of my 7, sleeping kiddos, on this Saturday morning that will be filled with cleaning, packing, the fair, tennis, the slipNslide and finding a storage unit.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Life~