Mommy of Many®

This story has been years in the making.  I believe it’s been about 6 years since it started.  It wasn’t until this morning that I realized that it was not just a tale of a tree’s growth, but a tale of community.

Years ago, we had a wonderful neighbor, “Miss Casey”.  She was always willing to loan the neighborly cup of sugar, sandwich baggie or tsp. of vanilla.  She also lent in the nurturing of my kiddos’ imaginations.  It was not uncommon for her to help them bake a special treat, throw a pretend wedding or even help put together a neighborhood circus.  One day Mariah took lemon seeds to Miss Casey and together they planted each one in it’s own pot in the hope that they would each become a beautiful lemon tree, full of ripe, yellow lemons that could be used for lemonade stands that would bring in lots of summertime $ to be spent at the ice cream truck.  One by one the lemon seeds sprouted and grew and one by one they died.  Except one. After about 4 years, it looked like this

We realized it needed some room to grow and decided to make it a family project to replant it in a larger container.  So 2 years ago we put together “How to Make a Lemon Tree Happy” in words and pictures

Scrub out a large container

Drill holes in the bottom for drainage

Break up old pottery in the bottom of the container for even better drainage

Add soil and miracle gro

Carefully remove the root bound tree from it’s old pot

Add LOTS more soil

Pack it down and pose with your tree

A happily repotted lemon tree with lots of room to grow!

Now, fast-forward 2 years-

Mariah’s little lemon tree heavy with lemons

Gabi and Luke-Xavier getting ready to pick the lemons.  They weren’t even born when this all started!

Some of the lemons weren’t ready to be picked, but he didn’t let that stop him from working REALLY hard at it!

Our basket full of lemons, all because of a little girls’ idea and a wonderful neighbor who took time out of her day to show Mariah that dreaming is worthwhile and can produce some sweet fruits (even if they ARE lemons!).

Community, dreams, time and love…..all such wonderful things~

In the fast-paced, busy world of being a mom it’s easy to lose track of yourself. After 7 months of focusing on the kids and the house and another month of getting used to having Clay back, it was time for me to remember that I need a little “me” time. I was able to take a 4-day trip to Northern California to visit family and friends and gather my thoughts. As moms we wear many hats and can’t always get away, but we need to remember that it’s always important to find a way to nurture ourselves, even when at home. I feel strongly that part of that nurturing process is having a good community of people in your life. Take the time to make and keep connections with other moms who share your ideals. A good support system and strong community help build a stronger you and the stronger and more whole you are, the better you can be for your family!

Thank you for visiting the site and for listening to the show! I appreciate your comments and suggestions. You can email me at Jen@MommyofMany.com or by using the contact link on the right.

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 MOM 50 [13:34m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (272)

Today’s Tale started two days ago and goes something like this;

So the washing machine guy finally showed up (again we are 1 day shy of a week) and let me know (nicely enough) that it will likely be Monday before the parts are in and the labor can be done. He also let me know that my washer is the biggest POS he’s seen and would never recommend this model because he’s always working on them (where was he when I was buying it?!). I pointed to the fact that there is hardly a floor in the laundry room right now, imagine what it’ll look like come MONDAY. He chuckled and said to hit the laundromat. I chuckled back and said that pigs will fly before I pump $50 or more into a laundromat when I spent $1000 on the machine and extra for the extended warranty.

So, Gabi (being the inquisitive young lady she is) wouldn’t get out of the way while he was working and I finally had to send her to her room. Out of rebellion she peed on the desk chair so that she could come out and take a bath (stubborn but brilliant!). Great! One more load of laundry that I can’t do!

Fast forward a day and things were looking a little better;

Arianna and Maddi attended a community event at our rec center. While they were there, I happened to drive by on my way to switch the loads of laundry at our friend’s house. The director was talking with the girls and saw me drive by and asked them where I was going. This prompted them to tell the whole, dramatic washing machine story. She told them to have me come into the office the following morning.

Well, I have complained from time to time about the way our housing is managed but all I could do was sing their praises when an hour after I was in the office, I was loading laundry into the machine that they brought over, put into place and are loaning me until mine is fixed! Talk about service! I see a box of chocolates in their future!

Word to the wise; if ever your washer goes out and there’s water and a load of laundry still in it, get it out ASAP! I left mine and had to deal with it when maintenance showed up with the loaner machine. Ugh! I have never smelled anything so awful!

So, there it is, the dramatic, yet true, tale of my washing machine drama. And yes, the picture above is an actual photo of the amount of laundry waiting to be washed. Keep in mind that each bedroom is holding a full laundry basket who’s contents are waiting anxiously to join in the pile.

Have a great day~

A good friend of mine invited me to go to a relaxation and meditation seminar with her. I could certainly use some tools for relaxing and de-stressing my busy days. It was a really good experience that I found full of words that affirmed some things that I’ve been thinking about. As women, it’s important that we find the time to nurture ourselves, mind, body and spirit. Too often we forget that we are not just physical beings, but spiritual beings, as well. We can better nurture those that we love by making sure that we are whole first.

Thank you for listening to the show and for visiting the site!

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 MOM 40 [13:31m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (156)

The last few days have been an adventure in mommying. So I thought I’d tell a story.

Saturday morning I packed up my little ones and JJ and went to our church to help get boys who had come into town for a retreat, to their destination. Even though my van is a pain to park sometimes, it sure comes in handy when you want to haul a bunch of people somewhere. So, we got it loaded with boys and gear and drove up and out of San Diego. It was about an hour and 1/2 drive into the countryish, mountainish terrain. Luke-Xavier and Gabi chattered and made noise the whole way. Luke-Xavier has been going through this phase where he says, “poop” after everything. Example; “More pasta. Poop”. We’re long past the stage of telling him to stop or that it’s not nice and now I’m just trying to ignore it. So, we’re on our way to this retreat and I thought it would be a good idea to offer a prayer for a safe journey. So, we quiet the noise in the van down and take a minute to ask for a safe trip and a fun time for the boys. Everyone said, “Amen” and then we hear, “Poop”. Imagine the burst of laughter from a van full of boys at a 2 year old ending his prayer with “poop”! Luke-Xavier was very proud of himself and you could just see on his face that he felt like one of the boys. I think that little charmer is going to give me a run for my money when he’s a little older.

So, we made it up to the camp and I was really thankful for having offered to drive because it was so beautiful. I haven’t really taken any drives in the last couple years. I’m constantly in the car and never really going anywhere!

I drove back up on Tuesday to do the pick-up and get boys back to the church where they would make their way to their planes. When I got to the camp, I was told that JJ had been in pain for the last couple of days and that I should take him to the Dr. to make sure it wasn’t his appendix. You could see by how he was walking that he was in pain. So, we got the boys to the church and I dropped my family off at home (I had loaded up a few more of the kids for the return trip because I wanted them to see how beautiful and peaceful it was) and headed to the ER. 5 hours later…….finally a bed! 2 Drs. came and examined him and felt that it was his appendix and put an order in for a CT scan. Another 5 hours……finally the CT scan. It ended up being inconclusive and still we waited while several more people came by to poke at JJ’s stomach. May I just take a moment to offer a thank you to cell phone makers and Apple for creating the iPod? Seriously, I would have gone mad if not for being able to text people what was going on and being able to listen to some music. I listened to ER Drs. argue with the surgeons about what to do with him. It was an interesting exchange. Finally, after the change of shift, it was agreed that he should be admitted for observation. Sometime around 11:30 we made our way up to pediatrics to a room. All I could do was hope that there was somewhere to lie down. Whew! I was beat! So, JJ endured many more stomach poking episodes. I left him around 1pm to come home to shower and check in. My sister had been with the kids and miraculously, didn’t have to work until 7pm. How the puzzle of my life fits together is always a wonder to behold!

After a shower, I decided to bring the kids over to see JJ. We got there to find out that they were going to feed him and then watch how he dealt with the food and possibly send him home. So, I shuttled the kiddos back to the house and made a quick dinner. In the time I was home, I had 3 friends and neighbors come by to see if there was anything they could do. I swear that I can never leave San Diego! The community of fabulous people that have been put into my life would be impossible to replace. Thank you to everyone who checked on us and offered up assistance!

I went back and agreed to bring JJ home and watch him here. He tolerated the food and has slept well. So, now we just keep our eyes open for any signs of fever, increased pain or nausea.

That’s the adventure of the last couple of days. Whew!

Again, thank you to everyone for your words of encouragement and love. Really, you are all truly appreciated!

Have a great day~

Recently, a friend said that she passed my blog and podcast onto a friend of hers hoping to share a little inspiration and a little fun. The friend came back to her saying that women like me come off as “Wonder Woman” and that she frankly can’t keep up.

AH! NO, NO, NO! There are NO wonder women in this house! In writing these (almost) daily blogs, I am hoping to convey to women everywhere (mommas or not) that life is serving up a constant dose of challenges in MANY forms but that together and with God and a sense of humor, we can make it. I’m hoping to plant the seed that will make a mom look at the room sprinkled with brown sugar or uncooked oatmeal and be able to take a big breath, utter a small prayer, remember something funny and then grab the vacuum. I’m hoping that I can help take the edge off of the daily grind and help everyone remember that this challenging time is not forever and to see the beauty in the little faces (challenging as they are) that surround us, demanding the very last drop of our time and energy.

Together in support and understanding we will be able to laugh about how we got it all done (except the laundry. That will never be done!).

A frequent visitor to the site sent me this picture of her little one enjoying the minute that he found his mom looking the other way.

Have a great day~

There have been so many things on my mind these last weeks. I’m getting my kids ready to face their dad being gone for at least 7 months. I’ve been trying to make sure that Kateri and JJ can get where they need to be for Easter. I set up a party for Clay’s farewell. Luke-Xavier has had some dental issues. I’ve been stressed about taxes and paying off the rest of JJ’s tuition. Anyway just lots of stuff all at one time. But piece by piece it’s all coming together. I’m amazed at how everything will work it self out if you just step back, take a big breath, utter some prayers and let God take over. Some beautiful people have been put in the path of my family and when we all work together things get done.

Kateri has been lent a car by a wonderful family in Ohio, so that she and JJ can drive to VA for Easter to be with friends. She’ll be able to pick him up at the airport and then they can take a little road trip. ~Whew~ Big weight off of my shoulders! I was trying to get them on a train for the trip but it was a long trip that actually would have sent JJ hours back in the direction he had just flown from.

Luke-Xavier has some teeth that need to be worked on and when the kids are little the dentist likes to have them asleep for the procedure. The cost for the anesthesiologist is substantial. We’ve had to do this with Max and Gabi. These last 3 kids have really had a lot of dental issues. I need to find out if it’s our water or toothpaste or what because none of the older kids ever had issues. But, Luke-Xavier does and it became one more thing in a pile of expenses that I was finding hard to face. Yesterday he went in for a cleaning and he did so beautifully by cooperating with the hygienist that I asked if she would recommend to the Dr. that Luke-Xavier be worked on without the anesthesiologist. They tested his listening skills by doing x-rays. I was amazed at how well he followed their directions! So, long story short- he’s willing to try to work on 2 teeth without putting him to sleep. Let’s hope and pray it goes well!

One more check off the list is JJ’s tuition. Now, this story is going to sound funny, but it’s a good example of how there’s a reason for everything and how we are given exactly what we need, when we need it. Go ahead and think I’m crazy, but here’s the story; A little over a year ago, Clay was biking to work. He had started riding a few days a week and was really enjoying it. Well, one morning he left for work on his bike and about 15 minutes later my phone rang. There was a frantic woman on the other end and she said, “I’m at the rec center. I have your husband and I need help”. I immediately figured I was going to get down there and find a pile of mush. But I threw on my robe, jumped in the car and went. Now, the rec center is on the street in front of ours, so it’s a quick trip that you wouldn’t normally use a car for, but again, I was thinking I was going to the hospital (didn’t think of ambulances). When I got there, he was on the ground off to the side of the sidewalk and he was bloody, but I could see that he was talking and his head and face were not injured. I thought, “ok, I can do this”. He was telling people what he needed and who to call at work etc. The poor woman who hit him was more of a wreck than he was. He could see that she was going to hit him so he was at least able to prepare for it. She never saw him! Imagine her shock when her windshield was smashed and a body was flying over her car! Anyway, he went to the hospital by ambulance and spent some time getting glass out of his arm, but was back home hours later and back at work in 2 days. However, the settlement process has been long and drawn out. We were beginning to wonder if it would ever be done. Well, apparently there was a plan, bigger than us for all of this! Clay received his settlement this week and it’s just the amount we needed to finish paying for JJ’s schooling! So, even something as scary and stressful as an accident can have it’s purpose in the big picture! (still thinking I’m nuts? That’s ok! Thinking this way has gotten me through a lot of tough times).

Well, that’s my long-winded Thursday morning post. I just wanted to share that even when things are stressful and appear bleak (or even impossible), a force larger than us can work it out!

Have a great day~

There are so many topics running through my head! Everything from being so grateful for wonderful people in our lives to wondering if my girls should attend a funeral at their school on Wednesday. I guess I’ll just jump in with both feet and see where I land.
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This weekend, we were fortunate enough to have 3 great guys come to the house to help Clay get some things in order before he deploys. Each of these people had to make a trip to get here. It wasn’t like they lived around the corner or work with Clay. It’s amazing to have people like that in your life! Thanks guys! I always hum the Johnny Appleseed song when I think of how lucky we’ve been with our circle of friends!
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When we got the mail today there was a new bill in it. When I opened it, it was for a credit card that I hadn’t heard of before. When I asked Clay about it, he said it was a card that he had applied for, but that when it came, we sent it through the shredder. It had over $100 in fees on it! He went to call to say that he never “activated” the card and to close the account. No live people to talk to! So, we Googled the card and came up with this! I’m writing about this, so that if any of you receive this offer that you can tear it up. I’m saying a prayer that it becomes an easy fix.
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It seems that as Clay’s deployment approaches, new projects keep being laid before us. We need to switch Dr.’s for the family because Luke-Xavier can’t be seen at the one we have been with for the last 10 years. Plus, we need to change the status for Kateri and JJ and try to find Dr.’s in their areas. The taxes have to be done (and we’re just NOT going to talk about THAT!). Oh! I’m just not even going to list any of the others, because they are just depressing!
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Last week, a little boy from the kids’ school passed away. It was unexpected and tragic! The funeral is on Wednesday and the girls want to go. I can’t attend because I would be bringing Gabi and Luke-Xavier with me and I just don’t feel like it’s the right place to bring little ones. So, another mom has offered to check the girls out so that they can go. But, then I wonder if they should go to something like that without me. What to do?!
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Well, this all seems a little dreary. Sorry! There will likely be a few more like this as the time for deployment and the crunch to get things done approaches. If you’ve never sent your spouse off to war, it’s probably a bit difficult to understand the vast array of emotions that go into it. If you HAVE been through this, then you are probably remembering specific crazinesses of when it was happening to you. Ugh! But, we make it through. One step at a time and it all gets done. Ultimately the kids get taken care of, the bills get paid, the needed items get purchased and off they go. Then the time during the deployment creeps along until it’s literally flying to the date for homecoming. Whew! One step at a time.

Good night~

10 years ago Clay and I had the awful experience of losing a baby to miscarriage. We had 5 healthy and beautiful children at the time which made the whole experience completely unexpected. The healing process was long and rocky. We learned a lot from that little baby that never spoke to us. I felt like the 10 year mark was a good time to share what we learned and some good resources for those that are looking for support. The 2 websites mentioned in the show today are;

Americanpregnancy.org
and
miscarriagesupport.org

Thank you for visiting MommyofMany.com. I look forward to your comments and questions.

You can always email me at Jen@MommyofMany.com

No is a powerful word and as parents I feel that we need to feel confident in using it to set limits for our children, even when it means that we go against all the hype happening around us. It can be hard to stand firm, but I feel that it’s crucial so that our children learn to appreciate the true gifts in life.

Thank you for coming to MommyofMany.com. I look forward to your questions or comments. You can email me at Jen@MommyofMany.com

Have a great day~

Yesterday I was able to attend the squadron’s Change of Command ceremony. For those who aren’t coming from a military background, that’s when the existing Commanding Officer is exiting and the Executive Officer becomes the new Commanding Officer. The ceremony is wonderful and full of tradition. This is only the second one I’ve been able to attend because in the past I didn’t have a babysitter etc. These ceremonies are the times when you are able to remember that your family is part of something great. Just as in any home, the husband going to work becomes routine, so it’s easy to forget that we belong to an organization so full of tradition.

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On another note, Kateri headed back to school this morning. The break is officially over. It was so nice to have everyone here for the Holidays! Christmas was peaceful and New Year’s was beautiful. Seriously, it was a beautiful, sunny, So. Cal. day.

Now we focus on getting everything in order for Clay to deploy in March. ~sigh~

Have a great day~

When I read or hear or see something great, I want to pass it along.

I love Reader’s Digest. I’ve been a subscriber for many years and have always read it cover to cover. I love to read but since Gabi was born, I’ve had a hard time being able to sit down with a whole book. I’ve managed a few, but for the most part, my reading enjoyment over the last 3 years has come from picking up my Reader’s Digest and going through the articles. This month’s issue has an article on debit card use that I found eye opening. Whenever I’ve been asked “debit or credit”, I found it more annoying than anything else. I always figured there wasn’t much of a difference. This article made me think again.

Have a great day~ 

Yesterday was a very nice day. Some wonderful people thought of our family and a “Secret Santa” showed up at our door with some gift cards to help with all that comes with Christmas. I was dumbfounded! We always manage, but there are certainly times when we wonder HOW we’ll manage. I was just trying to think of a creative and tasty chicken breast recipe that would seem festive, because I had forgotten to buy a turkey when I did the grocery shopping and I couldn’t go get one, because the food budget was gone, when this Christmas Angel shows up at the door. See what I mean? We would have had a perfectly good Christmas dinner, it just wouldn’t have been turkey. But now…….turkey! So, I want to say that I am very thankful to whomever thought of us and to everyone else, I want to say, Merry Christmas! The Spirit is alive and well!

Here’s a little story that Clay thinks I should share; A few days ago, his squadron had a Hail and Farewell that was a tailgate party before a football game. He invited JJ and some friends to go along. After the game, he called me to say that JJ was on his way home with our neighbor, who had gone, but that he was staying behind because there was a full keg and some BBQ left. Well, I went high and to the right! He had been gone for several hours, enjoyed the tailgater and the game. Why in the world did he need to stay behind to drink himself silly?! I let him know that the doors would be locked if he showed up drunk…..blah, blah, blah and a little yadda, yadda, yadda thrown in for good measure. JJ showed up about 1/2 an hour later and said he’d had a good time. Well, Clay came through the door about 1/2 hour after JJ and started to ask why I was so upset. I yelled that I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t have just come home with JJ and why he had to stay behind just because there was a full keg?!!!!! Well, he REALLY made me angry then, because he started laughing. Yes, laughing! Then he says, “keg?! I said that they had a full cake!”

So, my New Year’s resolution?……………working on my listening skills.

Good night~

What a day! It started with phone calls around 7 am from room moms to let us know that school was canceled due to a sinkhole in front of the school. The kids had mixed reactions because the girls were supposed to have their Christmas performance yesterday. They’d been working with friends on their dances for weeks. Tristan was happy to not have to go. I was happy not to have to pack lunches!

Later in the day, a friend of mine dropped by with a Christmas gift. Clay and I are still laughing! She gave us this, very pretty, cross that can be hung on the wall with the phrase, “with God, all things are possible”. However, the bag not only held the cross, there was a very nice bottle of wine inside. She let us know that if the phrase on the cross didn’t work that we were to drink the wine. LOL! I’ve got great friends!

We ended the day with roving carolers. Over the years of being in this neighborhood, I’ve seen groups of neighbors do this, but last night it looked like a group of college kids. They had a van following, so I’m pretty sure they weren’t from here. I sent Gabi out with a plate of cookies. She was greeted warmly. I took pictures, but they didn’t turn out well enough to make an appearance at the top of this post. Dang it!

So all-in-all it was a good day. Today the kids are heading back to school and they’ve rescheduled the girls’ performance for today just before Tristan’s performance. Yikes! I’m going to be at the school all day!

Wish me luck~

I loaded up the kiddos and headed to North Island for a predeployment meeting, this evening. They played (not so quietly) with the toys we had packed, while I tried to listen to the various speakers that were giving presentations. Most of the info that was presented was stuff I’d seen or heard in the past but a refresher in what resources are available to us, as dependents, is always good. But there was one piece of info that REALLY stuck out for me. The website militaryonesource.com sounds like the ultimate “one stop” for all things military and dependent related. They have LIVE people available 24/7 to answer the phones and answer questions on all topics needed. The presenter said that they have people available to answer questions and hand out resources in “140″ languages!!!!!! I quoted the number because I don’t want to be wrong and I was floored when she said that number. So, there you have it……a valuable tool for anyone who is in the military or a dependent OR if you are the parent of a soldier or sailor.

Good night~