Category — death

Luke-Xavier was asking me about when I would die. I explained that we don’t know when anyone will die, but that we all, do in-fact, die. I told him it’s all part of the steps of our life-we’re born, we live and we die. He was concerned about being dead and never seeing anyone. I told him that we have a soul inside of us that lives forever and that if we are good, kind and loving that we get to live in Heaven and see all the people we miss and explained that God is in Heaven waiting for us.

He thought for a second then looked at me very seriously and said, “Then I will be naughty so I don’t go anywhere. I just want to keep living and stay here.”

I can see that this is going to take a little more explaining. Until he gets it…watch out!

Good night~

The circle of life has been on my mind a lot lately.

I have a friend who’s getting ready to deliver her first baby and she’s so excited, scared, frustrated and ready to meet her little one. I remember what that feels like-how the end of the pregnancy comes and it’s all a big guessing game. You’re never sure of when the big day will arrive or if all the aches and twinges you’re feeling mean that you should go to the hospital or if you still have days to wait. It’s exciting and scary. No matter how many times I had gone through it, I was always a little scared. You just never know exactly what’s going to happen, but you know you’re there for a beautiful result. There is truly nothing in the world like the experience of seeing your brand new baby for the first time! Nothing!

I’ve been thinking a lot about that and even though I am not going to be personally delivering any babies anymore, I would love to be there for women who are. What a great thing to be there to help women through their birthing process! To be there the moment they meet their baby for the first time! I think I want to be a Doula. No, I’m not going to run out and start Doula training. This isn’t exactly the time to take anything else on (I’m barely making it through the Dance of each day as it is). But in the future, when things settle down and I’m not Doing the Dance of the Children quite as much, THEN.

I was able to travel to Northern California this weekend to be a part of a friend’s memorial and it’s really had me thinking of life; how it begins, how it ends and all the in between, where we’re supposed to be living it. It was wonderful to be at a service where so many people were celebrating a life well lived! It got me thinking about all I want to pack into the days of this life that I have left.

Have a great day…today and EACH day~

I’m in Northern California for my grandmother’s funeral.  I arrived with Mariah (she’s the oldest at home and should be here) and Luke-Xavier (still waking at night which wouldn’t be fair to him OR a sitter!) and went straight to my uncle’s house, where many family members were gathered.  It will be a bitter sweet day with being able to see the WHOLE family here (hey, that didn’t sound right. But you know what I mean.)  The kiddos that are at home did a good job for the sitter.  Hooray! 

Thank you for all the kind words, prayers and support.

Have a great day~

Yesterday as I was pushing 2 kiddos in a cart ahead of me and pulling a cart behind me (which Max was “helping” to push) in the commissary, my mother called. I answered the call to hear the crackling and pauses of a bad cell phone connection. It took me a couple of tries to hear what she was saying and then I had to actually ask, “did you just say that Grandma died?”. She had. I’m not usually an emotional person, in public, but right in front of the bread and anyone who was passing by, I began to cry. My 3 little kids stopped anything they were doing and stared at me. Gabi wanted to know if it was her grandma. Max came over and said I was the best mom he’d ever had. Poor little guy, couldn’t imagine what would make me cry in the middle of the shopping.

My grandmother lived a long and full life. She had 7 children and has 37 grand children and numerous great-grandchildren. She attended daily Mass. She was a widow for the last 11 years. I lived with her and my grandpa on, at least, 3 different occasions while growing up. Kateri and I lived with them from the time she was 9 months old, until just after her 3rd birthday. Clay and I had gotten married about 6 months before that, but he deployed right away, so I stayed put. My grandparents put me in ballet/tap and square-dancing lessons when I was young. My parents couldn’t afford to do it for me, so Grandma and Grandpa made it happen. They would always take me for a treat afterward. She was stingy with praise which is why I remember how I felt when I got a compliment about how I’d cleaned the kitchen. Now, every time I scrub out my own kitchen sink, I hear her voice. Funny, the things you remember!

I’d have to say that I didn’t cry because she’d gone, but because of the immediate thought of Clay’s deployment. I was sad to think that my whole family would be together to celebrate her life, but that I wouldn’t be able to go. It turns out that I can. Clay leaves on Monday and Grandma’s funeral is on Wednesday. My babysitter will be on Spring Break and is willing to spend a night and a day here, with my kids so that I can fly up and be with everyone. I do wish it were possible to take the kids with me, but it’s just not. So, a 24-hour trip it is. Even my sister who’s a Sister in Portugal will be there. Hearing that her order was putting her on a plane (she arrives tonight!) made me feel like I needed to make it happen.

So, next week will be packed with emotion! I’ll be sending Clay off with the hope that he come home safely and saying good-bye to Grandma in the hope that I meet up with her and all that have passed on, when my time comes~

You have, most likely, read my blog from a few days ago, when I attended the funeral of the 3rd grader from my children’s school. But, because I received a great response to that post I felt compelled to TALK about what I thought about and how it all made me feel. So, this show is an extension of that post.

Thank you for listening and for visiting MommyofMany.com. I look forward to your comments and questions. You can email me at; Jen@MommyofMany.com.

Good night~

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a 3rd grader from my children’s school. It was a little boy who had previously been in class with Tristan. It was incredibly sad to see the family come in behind the little coffin. The kids go to a Catholic school and the funeral and Mass were held at the parish church affiliated with the school. Many of the students and teachers attended. As I sat there saddened by the loss of a little boy, my mind started to wander. I started to think about what, exactly, I was sad about.

I realized that the saddest part for me was knowing that if I were to lose one of my children, that I’d have missed out on enjoying some of the things that are often “annoying”. I’d miss the clean and folded clothes that have been stuffed into the laundry basket so that they didn’t have to be put away. I’d miss a little voice begging me to sit down and read a story, even though I’m trying to make dinner, fold clothes, wash dishes, write a blog post or take a shower. I’d miss “on-demand” nursing. I’d miss the warmth of a little body climbing into my bed and squishing in-between my husband and I. I’d miss special requests at dinner or snack time. I’d miss the long, drawn-out explanations of ideas from curious and growing little minds. I’d be heart-broken to realize that I hadn’t enjoyed being a mother and instead focused on the annoyances of doing this job 24/7 for years on end. And right there and then I made a decision to ENJOY my children. To love them for the time I have them, dirty hands, food on the floor, whining and all. I’m making a vow to love them the way I want to, despite people who think they should be more disciplined, quieter, cleaner. Despite people who think my family is too large or too poor. I’m just going to love them and enjoy them and hope that I get to keep them for a long, long time.

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday! I learned that I need to appreciate what’s been put before me.

So, now, instead of worrying about the paperwork that’s piling up or the laundry that’s never going to be done, anyway or the messy playroom, I’m going to pack up my 3 youngest kiddos and take a walk to the beach.

I hope you each find a way to appreciate your loved ones today and to vow to love them in your own way, without being hindered by other’s opinions.

Have a great day~

There are so many topics running through my head! Everything from being so grateful for wonderful people in our lives to wondering if my girls should attend a funeral at their school on Wednesday. I guess I’ll just jump in with both feet and see where I land.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend, we were fortunate enough to have 3 great guys come to the house to help Clay get some things in order before he deploys. Each of these people had to make a trip to get here. It wasn’t like they lived around the corner or work with Clay. It’s amazing to have people like that in your life! Thanks guys! I always hum the Johnny Appleseed song when I think of how lucky we’ve been with our circle of friends!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we got the mail today there was a new bill in it. When I opened it, it was for a credit card that I hadn’t heard of before. When I asked Clay about it, he said it was a card that he had applied for, but that when it came, we sent it through the shredder. It had over $100 in fees on it! He went to call to say that he never “activated” the card and to close the account. No live people to talk to! So, we Googled the card and came up with this! I’m writing about this, so that if any of you receive this offer that you can tear it up. I’m saying a prayer that it becomes an easy fix.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It seems that as Clay’s deployment approaches, new projects keep being laid before us. We need to switch Dr.’s for the family because Luke-Xavier can’t be seen at the one we have been with for the last 10 years. Plus, we need to change the status for Kateri and JJ and try to find Dr.’s in their areas. The taxes have to be done (and we’re just NOT going to talk about THAT!). Oh! I’m just not even going to list any of the others, because they are just depressing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last week, a little boy from the kids’ school passed away. It was unexpected and tragic! The funeral is on Wednesday and the girls want to go. I can’t attend because I would be bringing Gabi and Luke-Xavier with me and I just don’t feel like it’s the right place to bring little ones. So, another mom has offered to check the girls out so that they can go. But, then I wonder if they should go to something like that without me. What to do?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, this all seems a little dreary. Sorry! There will likely be a few more like this as the time for deployment and the crunch to get things done approaches. If you’ve never sent your spouse off to war, it’s probably a bit difficult to understand the vast array of emotions that go into it. If you HAVE been through this, then you are probably remembering specific crazinesses of when it was happening to you. Ugh! But, we make it through. One step at a time and it all gets done. Ultimately the kids get taken care of, the bills get paid, the needed items get purchased and off they go. Then the time during the deployment creeps along until it’s literally flying to the date for homecoming. Whew! One step at a time.

Good night~

10 years ago Clay and I had the awful experience of losing a baby to miscarriage. We had 5 healthy and beautiful children at the time which made the whole experience completely unexpected. The healing process was long and rocky. We learned a lot from that little baby that never spoke to us. I felt like the 10 year mark was a good time to share what we learned and some good resources for those that are looking for support. The 2 websites mentioned in the show today are;

Americanpregnancy.org
and
miscarriagesupport.org

Thank you for visiting MommyofMany.com. I look forward to your comments and questions.

You can always email me at Jen@MommyofMany.com

Yesterday, one of Clay’s friends, who was stationed on Guam, went down in a helo crash. He leaves behind his wife. This is the second crash, this year, that involved people Clay knew. Please remember the pilot and his family in your prayers and thoughts today.
Thank you~