Mommy of Many®

I’ve recently been going through some personal challenges and it’s caused me to become more quiet on the blog and most certainly in my podcast. Some days I just can’t find the energy to pick apart my day and find something blog-worthy. As for the show, I felt strongly that going through personal challenges, whether I’m talking about them or not, would come out in my voice. So, I find myself going silent from time to time.

It’s time to be a little less silent.

I’m not a big believer in laying out great personal detail in a public forum, so I won’t be doing that. But I am a believer in letting people know what you need. From time to time I’ve spoken up and let people know when I’m stressed over the tight budget or not being able to get 5 kids to 5 different places at the same time and beautiful people have stepped forward and said, “I can help with that”. So, instead of being stressed in silence, it’s time to tell you what’s on my mind and ask for prayers and good thoughts to be sent my way.

Very suddenly I find myself in a position where I need a place to stay for the rest of the school year. The very best situation (of course), would be to have a house that’s somewhat near to where I’m currently living, so that the kids can easily finish out the school year. After the school year is over, decisions on what’s affordable and where, will have to be made. As you can imagine, this has been weighing heavily on me and I think it’s just going to be better to talk about it.

We’ve lived in this neighborhood for over 11 yrs and in this house for the last 9. When Clay retired, we all knew the time here would be coming to an end, but we had an agreement to stay in this house until the kids finished out the school year. Now that agreement has been broken and it’s just become a great provider of stress. I’m trying hard to keep things rolling smoothly, while trying to figure out what to do.

Prayers, good thoughts and ideas are most welcome!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

I haven’t really been ready to talk about this because I just couldn’t figure out how to process it. But the end is speeding toward us, some pieces have fallen into place and I think I can spit out the words now.

About 4 months ago Clay let me know that he would be forced into retirement at the end of November (see how close it is?!). He was passed over for advancement and since he has already served 23 years, it meant he would have to retire.

You can imagine that this brought on a lot of anxieties! First of all (and really foremost in my head) we live in military housing. We’ve been fortunate enough to be in this AMAZING housing for 11 years! My last 4 children have never known anything but this neighborhood. That doesn’t mean we haven’t done our fair share of moving around. The first 7 years, this family moved and moved and moved! So, if his military career was going away, so was our house! This became my primary focus. I figured I’d leave the job issue to him, but I couldn’t get over thinking about not having a house anymore. Where would we live?! Do you know how expensive housing is in San Diego?! What about the kid’s schools?! It’s very odd to go from a life of being told where you’re going, when you’re going there and what you will be doing once you get there, to having to CHOOSE these things! And honestly, there’s a whole system set in place for the transition, but it normally is a year or so long process, not one of 4 months!

After stressing out about these things for about 3 months, I finally decided to go down to the housing office and ask some questions. I’m sure glad I did! I found out that we have an automatic 30 days that we can stay here, after retirement and also found out that an Exception to Policy letter could be written asking to stay through the end of the school year. Most of my anxiety melted away right there! We are now approved to stay here until the end of June, if it works out for us to do so. This made me feel SO much better!

So, Clay will be retired at the end of this month. He is looking for a new career. His ceremony will be at the beginning of December and the kids can finish out their school year in the schools they know in the neighborhood they know so well. After that…

Well, you can imagine there’s a lot of prayer going on.

But right now, it’s just time to focus on the upcoming holidays and take each day as it comes. I know there’s a Big Plan that I’m not in charge of and I’m reminding myself each day not to worry about it. I can do what I can do and leave the rest in God’s hands.

Doing the Dance of the Children One Day at a Time~

What a day!

I wanted to share my thoughts even though they don’t seem to have a common thread-

What amazing people I have in my life! People who take time and give of themselves simply because it makes life easier for others and “why not” share what you can. Each day I give thanks for the beautiful example of such people, who help me see the ease of giving of one’s self.
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I don’t the know the plan for this hectic, busy and very full life of mine, but I trust that there IS a plan and that I only need to focus on today and leave the rest up to each day and what God has laid out.
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Sitting at Costa Brava with my sister and my oldest son is a really, really great way to spend an hour or two!
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I LOVED meeting Bonnie of The Shape of a Mother and sharing in an afternoon with her and some other great ladies! May all meetings with new people feel so comfortable!
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I’m pretty sure I made some new friends tonight when I handed over the rest of my pitcher of sangria. I felt done and really didn’t want it to go to waste. The table next to me promised it wouldn’t
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The kiddos and I are enjoying this video so much! I hope you do too~

Doing the Dance of the Children…With My Hands~

I’m normally an early riser but on the weekends I usually let myself stay in bed until 5:30 or 6. But this morning, my body woke me up at 4 and told me I wanted to get up, think and stretch. An odd thing for me. But I didn’t fight it. I got up, brushed my teeth, made the coffee and went to the living room to stretch my body and listen to my thoughts. Huh. This led into a feeling of peacefulness. Huh. So I walked through the house, listening to the quiet of everyone sleeping while I drank my coffee. I sat down at my computer and read and continued to feel peaceful.

Then I let my”self” get in the way. I started to think, “I must DO something with all this wonderful peacefulness”. “I shouldn’t  just waste this great feeling of peace by sitting in it”. I’m trying to tell my”self” to shhhhh and just “be”.  Not an easy task for a woman who’s been in constant motion for most of my 39 years on this earth.

So now, I’ll start the regular day and I’ll keep a piece of this morning tucked inside me to draw from as I move through the busyness of my daily life. I’m not sure what my mind and body were telling me this morning, but I had an hour of it before I let my inability to just “be” get in the way. Not bad!

A peaceful Sunday to each of you~

On this day, where things seem all outta whack, I’m choosing to find something that lifts my spirits and reminds me to focus on all things good. I’m thinking of the fact that my son is traveling safely and enjoying this time in his life. I’m thinking that the schools my children have been attending are filled with a solid education, faith and many beautiful people. I’m thinking that I have running vehicles and 2 refrigerators full of food. I thinking that my loved ones are alive and safe. I’m thinking that I’ve been able to live near the ocean for many years and have gotten to smell the ocean air and feel the ocean breeze while watching it’s vast and untamed waters. I’m thinking that even on crazy days, life really is good.

While I focus on all these thoughts I’m going to fill my house with music that I love, roll up my sleeves and clean.

Always take a moment to breathe deeply and find your blessings.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Believing in all my Blessings~

Gabi asked to run errands and go to an appointment with me this morning. About 1/2 way through the appointment she started telling me she was hungry and thirsty. For the rest of the time that we were out, she must have told me about 20 times. I decided to direct her to put her discomfort to good use.

Me-”Gabi I know you’re hungry and thirsty, but we’re going to wait till we’re home to eat and drink, so I suggest you take a minute to offer it up to God for something or someone. You could say, ‘God, I’m hungry right now and I have to wait to eat, so I offer my hunger to You so that Arianna does well at volleyball.’ Or, ‘God, I’m really hungry right now and I don’t get to eat until we’re home, so I offer it up to You so that we have a safe and fun trip to see our friends and family, later this week.’ See, you can focus your discomfort on something else and we’ll be home soon and then we’ll eat.”

Gabi-”But I’m hungry NOW!”

~sigh~ I tried!

Doing the Dance of the Children and hoping they get it~

It’s been 2 weeks since JJ graduated from High School and only a few days afterward, he and his class, along with a few chaperones, got on a plane headed for Spain. Each person was outfitted with a new bike and a few essentials for the long road ahead of them. They are heading out for a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.

This journey takes them through Spain and into France. I have to admit that, even though I’d heard about the trip for a whole year, I hadn’t given it much thought. Sure, I took him to the post office to get his passport and I sent money for the new bike, but I hadn’t looked into the route or researched the journey. I knew that the Senior classes before JJ’s had done this trip and that it was a wonderful experience.

Yesterday I finally sat down at the computer and typed “Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela” into my Google search box. I was fascinated with what I read and saw! An excerpt from the book,
Pilgrimage to the End of the World states-”A satellite image of the pilgrimage routes provides a little reality check to the bland abstractions of a traditional map. But even this isn’t enough to convey the toughness of the trail. The daunting mountain ranges of the Pyrenees and the Cantabrians speak clearly enough of the great challenges the pilgrim must overcome.” I’m in awe of these boys, on bikes and with little in their pockets, taking on this trek!

There’s been no word from the boys, so I’m going with the phrase, “No news is good news” and trusting that all is going well. I can’t wait for JJ’s return home so that we can hear all about this adventure, both spiritually and physically. I’m just more proud and pleased than I can convey that the boys are having this experience!

I truly hope that each of my children gets to embark on experiences like this one!

Doing the Dance of the Children and hoping to foster their dreams and nurture their souls~

Yes, one more blog based on something Luke-Xavier has done or said. Seriously, this kiddo is just too much fun to keep to myself!

So, tonight when it was his turn to pray, this is what he asked of God;

“Dear God, please keep the ladybugs safe. Please help people to go to the park and please don’t let my friends die”.

I have a feeling that,with a smile on His face, God has made all of the ladybugs safe…at least for tonight.

Have a good night~

A couple of days ago I asked my boys what they were thinking about giving up or doing for Lent.

Tristan told me he was going to “try” to spend less time on the computer (I asked him what that meant, but his answer leads me to believe we have some talking to do).

Max, on the other hand, knew EXACTLY what he planned on doing…

Me-”Max, what are you giving up or doing for Lent?”
Max-”I’m going to practice almsgiving”
Me-*trying not to laugh too hard* “almsgiving? But you don’t make any money”.
Max-”I find a quarter…sometimes a dime…”

I had to walk away so that he didn’t see me laughing. This kid! Priceless!

Have a good night~

Well, yesterday was a test of what I could do.   It was my first time back to church with the family and then we had a baptism and luncheon afterward.  I hadn’t done hair and make-up in 3 weeks!  Getting back to our parish with my family was great!  It’s a small parish and we’ve been parishioners there for almost 11 years.  I was the recipient of many a warm “welcome back”.  These people have become like family.

I had the privilege of becoming a Godmother (for the 4th time) yesterday.  Sweet, little Lauren Marie was baptized at the parish that’s attached to my children’s school.  We hadn’t been to a Roman Rite baptism in quiet some time.  Everything was beautiful and I’m happy I got to be a part of it.  Afterward we headed to the family’s house for a luncheon.  My little ones are friends with the other children in the family and my older girls have babysat for them, so it was a nice, quiet, comfortable afternoon of visiting.  

I love this pic of the little ones gathered around the sleeping baby.  So sweet!

Even so, it tested my ability to be up all day.  We got home around 3 and I headed to bed.  I was able to stay there for a couple of hours and then get up to take care of serving dinner.  I’m wondering when the afternoon napping will come to an end.

This morning I’m back to my regular alarm schedule of 4:15 am and can’t help but wonder how soon I’m gonna want Gabi and Lex to lay down with me.  I suppose the day will tell!

Have a great day~

In the last month I’ve said that the new year was going to bring change to the Lang Clan and that I’d talk about it as we went along.  I’ve let you know about Clay’s orders for a year to Iraq.  Now it’s time to touch on another subject.  I’ve been waiting to talk about this because I wanted more info before I presented it.  Now I have the info and dates I need.

For the last few months I’ve been talking to doctors and having ultrasounds and appointments because of endometriosis.  It’s something I’ve dealt with since JJ was born,but our children have been close enough together that the symptoms had been curbed.  I’ve been on hormone therapy twice, when we had bigger spaces and the symptoms would come back.  When I stopped nursing Luke-Xavier, back in August, I noticed that my pain came back.  Over the last 5 months everything has picked up rather quickly.  After speaking with my doctor and having my options laid out before me, I’ve made the decision to have a hysterectomy.  I made this decision based on knowing that Clay is going to be gone for a year, that my symptoms have rapidly gotten worse and knowing that I need to be whole and healthy for myself and my children while I am the primary caregiver.  BUT, I thought I would have my appointment yesterday and then have a month or so to prepare myself, emotionally and mentally.  Nope!  I am having surgery next Tues.  That’s right!  So much for any preparing or planning!  After 20 hours of emotional highs and lows, I am getting my head around it all and can see that sooner is better.  With Clay leaving in May, we need to be able to have me recover and feel strong and healthy before we are dealing with all the emotions and paperwork of his leaving.  

When I say I’m Doing the Dance, I mean it!  There is always some sort of Dance to be done over here!  

Since finding out about all of this and getting the word out, I have to say that I am amazingly blessed with the people in my life!   I have women from my spouse’s club, women from the neighborhood, women from bible study, women from school and even moms of my older kid’s friends, offering to help.  Wow!  I know that everything will go as planned and that I will be fine and that my family will be fine.  I will take you along the journey with me and let you know how this all plays out.  It’s a new phase of my life!  

If any of you have had this experience I’d love to hear about it!  Please share!

Have a beautiful  and blessed day~

Have you ever done something and immediately thought of what the consequences might be?

Last night I took Arianna shopping for some school clothes. While she headed into Old Navy to try things on, I decided to take a few minutes and go into Marshalls to look for some shoes for myself. I wasn’t carrying my purse, just my wallet, keys and phone. I decided it would be a good idea to hook my keys onto the the basket so they wouldn’t fall through and get lost. I made a mental note not to forget them. I need to remember that my mental notepad is out of paper and needs to be replaced! So off I go trying on and ultimately finding a pair of shoes to purchase. Then off to meet up with Arianna to see what she’s found. We spent a bit of time debating a pair of pants she wanted. We didn’t bring them home. Once we were checked out at Old Navy, I remembered that Mariah needed a book for school and hey, there’s a Borders right next to Old Navy. So into Borders we go to find the book. After buying the book and some coffee, I was beat and ready to head home. We headed for the van. WAIT A MINUTE! Where are my keys? In the bottom of the bag? My pocket? Where the heck could those keys be? AHHHHHH! “Jen, remember (remnants of the mental notepad trying to speak), you hooked them onto the basket in Marshalls so that they wouldn’t get lost”. No!

We started walking briskly back to the store in the hope that the basket would still be sitting in the same place I’d left it. Yeah right! No basket! I went to the counter and asked if any keys had been turned in. “No”. I explained what had happened and an announcement was made asking everyone to look at their baskets for keys hanging from it. I made a mental note to start listening to announcements because, hey, they just might be important! No one else made that note!

So begins my time in Marshalls, looking like a stalker. I sent Arianna outside to check the baskets that were lined up. Then I started walking the isles looking at each basket. Sometimes I had to say things like, “Excuse me, could you pick up those clothes? I just need to look at the back of the basket”. Ever try to explain something in 2 seconds? Not so good! I had people make many a comment to me. But after checking as many baskets as I could, I felt dejected and headed back to the front to see if they’d been turned in. Nope! It was time to make a phone call. The most frustrating part was that the other set of keys were sitting inside the van in my purse. If I would have just carried my purse in, I would have had 2 sets of keys and not had to worry about them falling through the basket to the floor. Another mental note, “carry your purse!”. I decided to check the baskets of the people in line. I uttered a little prayer to St. Anthony (patron of lost things and a good friend of mine) and headed to the line. “Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, YOU HAVE MY KEYS!”. Poor man! I am positive that either he didn’t speak english or he was dumb-struck. Every head turned to look at the crazy lady shouting a joyous shout at this poor man. “No, really! You have my keys. See, they’re right there”. He unhooked them and handed them to me. I held them high, gave them a jingle and marched victoriously out of the store. Whoo Hoo! I’m a lucky girl!

Thanks St. Anthony! I owe you!

DON’T HOOK YOUR KEYS ONTO A BASKET AND THEN WALK AWAY. Unless, of course, you want to play a game of hide and seek!

Have a great day~

I haven’t been able to watch a whole movie, start to finish, without getting up and taking care of something or folding laundry or taking a phone call, in a long time. But, because I’m on a little trip, I had the luxury of watching an entire movie last night. I wanted to share this beautiful movie and it’s story with all of you.

I had not heard of Bella and am really happy that the family I’m staying with shared it with me. Check out the website! The movie is out on DVD, now. With so many crazy movies and messages available to our kids, that often conflict with the family values we are trying to convey to them, I think this movie deserves to be seen and shared.

Have a great day~

A Butterfinger wrapper? Really?! Yep! Today’s little post is about the funniness of kiddos.

When I went up North for my grandmother’s funeral, Mariah and I each chose an item or two from Grandma’s belongings to bring home. I took home a blanket that has been with my grandma for as long as I can remember. Mariah found this lovely necklace-

She also found this little Butterfinger and thought it was funny to bring it home with her. Who knows how long it had been laying around in Grandma’s room? I had told her to throw it away, but she put it in her purse and brought it and the lovely necklace home.

Yesterday I came out of my room, as Luke-Xavier was shutting Mariah’s door. When he saw me he did a little, hoppy step and started running, which let me know he was doing something wrong. I called him to me and asked what he was doing. He said, “chocolate”. So, I called Mariah and told her that he must have been into her Easter candy and to go check. The funny part was that he didn’t have any chocolate on him (odd for a 2 year old that’s been into chocolate). As I came into the dining room and asked him to show Mariah where the chocolate was, he pointed at Tristan. Tristan was sitting at the table with the empty Butterfinger wrapper on the table. EWWWW! Mariah and I burst into giggles! We didn’t tell Tristan. I just hope he doesn’t get sick!
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AN UPDATE-

Well, a big thank you to everyone who said a little prayer about the Girl Scout Cookie “Dough”. It’s been found! Hooray! It was in the hall of my church. I must have forgotten to pick it up last week, in the flurry of events. Hooray! Hooray!

Have a great day~

There have been so many things on my mind these last weeks. I’m getting my kids ready to face their dad being gone for at least 7 months. I’ve been trying to make sure that Kateri and JJ can get where they need to be for Easter. I set up a party for Clay’s farewell. Luke-Xavier has had some dental issues. I’ve been stressed about taxes and paying off the rest of JJ’s tuition. Anyway just lots of stuff all at one time. But piece by piece it’s all coming together. I’m amazed at how everything will work it self out if you just step back, take a big breath, utter some prayers and let God take over. Some beautiful people have been put in the path of my family and when we all work together things get done.

Kateri has been lent a car by a wonderful family in Ohio, so that she and JJ can drive to VA for Easter to be with friends. She’ll be able to pick him up at the airport and then they can take a little road trip. ~Whew~ Big weight off of my shoulders! I was trying to get them on a train for the trip but it was a long trip that actually would have sent JJ hours back in the direction he had just flown from.

Luke-Xavier has some teeth that need to be worked on and when the kids are little the dentist likes to have them asleep for the procedure. The cost for the anesthesiologist is substantial. We’ve had to do this with Max and Gabi. These last 3 kids have really had a lot of dental issues. I need to find out if it’s our water or toothpaste or what because none of the older kids ever had issues. But, Luke-Xavier does and it became one more thing in a pile of expenses that I was finding hard to face. Yesterday he went in for a cleaning and he did so beautifully by cooperating with the hygienist that I asked if she would recommend to the Dr. that Luke-Xavier be worked on without the anesthesiologist. They tested his listening skills by doing x-rays. I was amazed at how well he followed their directions! So, long story short- he’s willing to try to work on 2 teeth without putting him to sleep. Let’s hope and pray it goes well!

One more check off the list is JJ’s tuition. Now, this story is going to sound funny, but it’s a good example of how there’s a reason for everything and how we are given exactly what we need, when we need it. Go ahead and think I’m crazy, but here’s the story; A little over a year ago, Clay was biking to work. He had started riding a few days a week and was really enjoying it. Well, one morning he left for work on his bike and about 15 minutes later my phone rang. There was a frantic woman on the other end and she said, “I’m at the rec center. I have your husband and I need help”. I immediately figured I was going to get down there and find a pile of mush. But I threw on my robe, jumped in the car and went. Now, the rec center is on the street in front of ours, so it’s a quick trip that you wouldn’t normally use a car for, but again, I was thinking I was going to the hospital (didn’t think of ambulances). When I got there, he was on the ground off to the side of the sidewalk and he was bloody, but I could see that he was talking and his head and face were not injured. I thought, “ok, I can do this”. He was telling people what he needed and who to call at work etc. The poor woman who hit him was more of a wreck than he was. He could see that she was going to hit him so he was at least able to prepare for it. She never saw him! Imagine her shock when her windshield was smashed and a body was flying over her car! Anyway, he went to the hospital by ambulance and spent some time getting glass out of his arm, but was back home hours later and back at work in 2 days. However, the settlement process has been long and drawn out. We were beginning to wonder if it would ever be done. Well, apparently there was a plan, bigger than us for all of this! Clay received his settlement this week and it’s just the amount we needed to finish paying for JJ’s schooling! So, even something as scary and stressful as an accident can have it’s purpose in the big picture! (still thinking I’m nuts? That’s ok! Thinking this way has gotten me through a lot of tough times).

Well, that’s my long-winded Thursday morning post. I just wanted to share that even when things are stressful and appear bleak (or even impossible), a force larger than us can work it out!

Have a great day~