Mommy of Many®

Well ain’t that the truth!

I never do this-I never publicly complain about how it is. But tonight I’m hot! I’m so dang hot and I’m so sick of being on 24/7 and having every single waking moment be about the well-being of my kids (as it should be), only to have an angry teen berate and bully me because they don’t get what they want. Guess what?! Sometimes the answer is “NO”! No, you are not allowed to watch an inappropriate movie and NO you don’t get to bully me because of my appropriate parenting. And dang it…I’m sick and tired of being blamed for how unfair it is that your life had to change. You know what?! Mine did too! And I don’t always like it. But I’m making the best of it and I’m working my behind off every moment of every day to make sure I’m doing the very best I can for all of you. Sometimes that’s going to mean you’re being parented and teens, even in the very best of situations, aren’t always happy with being parented. But it’s still my job!

It’s not fair!

Yep! Totally not fair! It’s not fair that everything I thought I was working for was a sham. It’s not fair that after 9 kids and 40 yrs of life that I have to worry about how to keep food on the table and a roof over most of those kid’s heads. It’s not fair! But it’s life! It’s life! And honestly, fair or not, each day brings something beautiful and I am working SO hard to give as much of that beauty as I can to my kids. That’s the goal of each of my days. I want them to feel loved, protected, secure and free. And you know what?! I want the same for myself. So go ahead, be angry. Call me names. Tell me it’s unfair and that I’m horrible. I’ve done what I needed to. Every single step I’ve made has been put before me and I know that God’s with me each day. And I won’t stop parenting. Not because of your fit. Not because of your anger. Not because you bully me and not because you tell others lies about who I am. It’s my job and I’ll keep doing it.

It’s not fair, but it’s true!

Doing the Dance of the Children!

~Sigh~

With a heaved sigh, I look at the clock and realize that I’ve had 2 whole hours to “work”. The sigh is because I’ve been at the computer and on the phone the entire time and while I know, for sure, that I’ve gotten lots of “work” done; loose ends tied up, emails sent, contacts made, statuses updated , phone calls made, my calendar updated, Oh yeah-dinner’s in the slow cooker and I made sure to announce my Story Time debut, but if you walked into my house right now, you’d see a stack of dirty pots and pans and every single knife in the house, waiting to be washed, vacuuming that needs to be done, clothes that need to be hung up and at least one bathroom that needs some attention given to cleaning detail.

Is it a M.O.M.’s constant Dancing act (some of you may juggle, or balance. I choose to do my work while dancing) to pick and choose which steps make it into the daily routine? I’m sick of feeling like I’ve worked. No! Wait! A rephrase is in order…I’m sick of KNOWING I’ve worked for hours/days but knowing that the work isn’t something my family can SEE, so there’s a lot of acting like M.O.M. does NOTHING.

I suppose this is my own hang up, something I need to let go of. But the floors still need to be cleaned and the dishes still need to be washed, so letting go of the “I haven’t worked hard enough” feelings isn’t going to change the fact that the work still needs to get done.

~Sigh~

So with another deep sigh, I think I’ll turn the music up, log off the computer and go do some work that will show me some results before I head out to pick kids up from school and head off to a fun Story Time (watch for this post).

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Reasons to be thankful today-

Hugs even when I’m a drippy-nosed, mouth-breathing, cold infested-wreck

Being able to easily get work done because of internet access in my home-finally!!!!

A conference filled with good news from today’s parent/teacher conference

An unbelievably kind/thoughtful/loving/generous/trusting friend

Meeting with a new friend and feeling so connected

Moving furniture because tomorrow I get my carpets cleaned for a review of the company’s services

Meeting with the owner of a local shop and confirming that I’ll be doing StoryTime for them this week

A glass of wine and a quiet house after a L-O-N-G but full day

Good Stuff!

G’night…Don’t forget to count your blessings~

I’b dot a told…a bad one.

I woke yesterday to a runny nose, a cough and pressure in my sinuses. I took some vitamins, stayed well hydrated and ignored it. There’s no point in M.O.M. giving in to feeling sick because the Daily Dance isn’t going to stop or even slow much. So I pushed on. This morning it was a little worse, but again, I pushed forward, packed up the kids, toys, snacks and hit a park. But this evening this little cold of mine decided it would no longer be ignored and hit me hard. I know that none of this sounds like a reason to be thankful and none of that stuff is, but this…THIS, is Good Stuff-

Maddi comes in from San Diego tonight and not only was she landing at 10pm, but I just found out her flight’s been delayed and she won’t even land until about 11:30pm and who’s picking her up and delivering her here? Her dad. I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL that tonight, of all nights, he is the one taking care of this. A reason to be thankful, indeed!

Now I’m going to drink some effervescent Vitamin C, curl up and go to sleep.

G’night~

Nothing spectacular has happened, we didn’t go to a parade or win the lottery, but having the extra day to just be has felt SO good!

On Friday, 11/11/11, we celebrated Max’s 9th birthday. It was cloudy out, so we chose to spend a couple hours at an indoor playplace-Wacky Tacky. It was crowded and full of the energy that kiddos with a day off have to burn! Tristan and Max especially liked the foam, air guns. They spent quite a bit of time shooting at anything and everything. When as much energy as possible was expended, we headed home for lunch. Then it was present time! Whoo Hoo! In the last few weeks, we’ve discovered the Plasma Car. One of our neighbors has them and the kids really fell in love with riding them. So not only did Gabi get one for her bday (pink, of course), but Max is now the happy owner of one in yellow. These really are great! They hold up to 180 lbs, sit low to the ground and require nothing but kiddo energy.

Then we enjoyed a nice dinner and dessert was some special Daddy n Max time at a frozen yogurt shop that also boasts a hot chocolate bar! Yum!

Yesterday we ran errands and spent some time visiting with a friend that was up from Pacific Beach. The kids enjoyed some time finding items to add to their Christmas lists at Barnes and Noble while I got to hear what’s been happening at the beach. A great afternoon!

This morning has been leisurely, with kids waking up one-at-a-time over the last couple hours. Max has been taking his Lego Creations vehicle (another bday gift) apart and rebuilding it into one of the other vehicles it’s capable of making. This would NOT of been a toy I would’ve enjoyed. I want things put together and to perform whatever function they’re created to perform, but Max and Tristan both LOVE taking their Legos apart and recreating over and over again. The difference between girls and boys? Or the difference between brains that function at what’s been deemed “genius” level and those of us who have regular ol’ brains? Who knows! But I’m glad they have so much fun with it all!

So it’s Legos and Apple Crumble muffins for breakfast and onto a Sunday that will involve some leftover homework, the beginnings of a school project, church in the evening and then youth group.

A good weekend!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Feeling Thankful For All of It~

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe that no one has to use the bathroom so bad as when there are chores to be done.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

My last couple of days have sure been a roller coaster full of icky, angry teenage angst/A fun day in SF/Some Great Pump-Me-Up Silpada Training/Happiness at Seeing Max be proud of an accomplishment/Fun Kid-Time Crafts and, of course some house cleaning.

2 nights ago, there was lots of angry time in my house. I hate it when that happens and I’m suddenly nominated for The Worst Mommy’s Club. It totally sucks the life out of me and does a number on the little ones. I then have to spend time getting my head back on straight and remembering that just because a teen is angry at me, doesn’t mean the words they’re spewing are true. This can, sometimes, take days to undo. Ugh! But at the same time, I have to ease the little ones’ minds after all the guck they’ve heard. It’s a tough, energy sucking job. This episode ended in a teen staying away from home for the last 2 days. This is UNACCEPTABLE! I haven’t received a call or visit from the parents where my teen is staying and I don’t have any contact info for them. So this morn I let my teen know (through text) that if I didn’t have the info by noon, the school and the police would be called. I’ve been told that my teen will be coming home after school. If not, well, I’ll go back to the plan.

On a lighter note, I got to have my mind soothed by heading into San Francisco, yesterday. I was treated to a fabulous lunch and a tour of a friend’s floral studio before heading over to a Silpada Designs training session. Perfect timing because I have a string of parties coming up and I needed some fresh energy! I got it! I’m excited to get out there, show off this fabulous jewelry, meet some great people, have some fun and make some money. All Good Stuff!

I got to take this beautiful wreath home. It’s draped over my dining table, waiting for me to find the right thing to do with it.

This afternoon Lex and I went over to a local yogurt shop to join Max, who was arriving with classmates in a Hummer limo for selling a certain amount of cookie dough. He was so happy! Afterward, we stayed for a craft time they were hosting (this is getting it’s own blog tomorrow, b/c there’s some Good Stuff to share for all my local mommies! Come back tomorrow to check it out!).

Heading back to school.

So, it’s just about time to start the afternoon pick ups and I’m feeling ready for it!

Doing the Dance of the Children Through it All~

After the school parties we came home, regrouped, freshened up the costumes, bought a bunch of candy and headed out into the neighborhood. I had been invited to bring the kids to a court a couple over from us, so we started over there with some visiting and playing and then hit the sidewalk. Maddi and Anna decided they would stay home and hand out the candy.

Ready to hit the sidewalks

Anna and Maddi ready to hand out candy

My kiddos and neighbor kiddos, ready to Trick-or-Treat

Pretty Maddi

We had a ton of fun! I got to meet neighbors and the kids realized how many classmates they live near. I was especially happy with my new neighborhood when I was handed a glass of wine and told it was tradition and that I could just return the glass to the front porch later. I do believe I love my new neighborhood!

I had made a full crock pot/rice pot meal so that the kids could have so real food after all the sweets, but they never made it to eating. It’s made for an easy dinner night tonight!

I walked with the kids for an hour and then passed them off to their dad who did more than an hour more! The kiddos brought home HEAVY bags of candy. I allowed them 2 pieces and then tucked them away to be doled out over time.

Halloween was FUN! It was nice for us to really feel like a part of our new neighborhood and to see so many friendly faces. We are truly in a good place.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

The day’s far from over, but there are plenty of fun pics to share. Yes, these are all of Gabi and Lex, but Tristan and Max didn’t have parties and the girls aren’t dressing up. So here’s some Halloween fun from the youngest lil Langs~

Oh wait! Here’s one of Max carving his pumpkin last night

Gabi the Prom Queen in her custom designed dress. She’s feeling VERY special today!

Prom Queen and the Pirate. My lil cuties

Halloween party fun!

Some Halloween Goo Fun

Gabi, decorating a lil pumpkin at her class party.

I can’t wait to share the kids’ jack-o-lanterns and the evening’s antics. There wasn’t any “special” carving happening, but they did them mostly on their own, which always makes for a special design.

Happy Halloween!

Doing the Dance of the Dressed Up Children

I thought it would be good to give an update on what’s happening for Max. After writing my last post about him, I received several messages about how to get a 504 plan in place. I didn’t know what this was or how to get it, but the pieces started to fall together and his teacher and I are working together to make sure we keep moving forward on this path. This will help Max and each of his future teachers. Without it, each teacher will have to “figure out” what works and doesn’t work for him. Why put everyone through the frustration when we can take what’s been discovered over the last couple of years and pass it on. Plus, Max needs everyone on board so that every transition to a new grade is smooth.

He’s settling into his new school nicely. He’s got the routine down (doesn’t mean he always follows it), he’s remembering classmates names and is feeling more comfortable interacting with everyone. He’s not always successful in his interactions, but he’s happy to keep trying. Because he has an amazing ability to remember detail, he’s starting to think of certain people and what they may like and he often puts in requests to bring things from home that he thinks people would like. Yesterday he brought an extra snack to school to share with a classmate that he thought would really like that particular thing. I don’t know how it went, but I like that he’s individualizing his classmates.

We had company a couple days ago and there were 2 boys about his age. It went great! They all jumped into “regular” boy play. There was plenty of wapping each other with balloons and horseplay. It was great to see him have a positive experience with new friends, from the beginning!

His school held a cookie dough fundraiser and he got it into his head that he was going to earn a certain prize-A limo ride to a local yogurt shop. This was his singular focus. Sure enough, he approached EVERYONE about buying cookie dough and was a rock-solid salesman until he reached his goal! In a couple of weeks Max will get to take a limo from school and go get yogurt. Whoo Hoo!

One day at a time. One challenge at a time into a successful future!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

This morning Lex called me into the bathroom and as his lil 5yr old self sat there finishing his business he says,”It should be, ‘Humpty Dumpty wasn’t so comfy…because he fell off that wall’”!

Gotta love lil minds contemplating Mother Goose!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

It’s been a hell of a week.

Through out this years-long process of separation and divorce I’ve been pretty quiet about all I go through. I’ve tried hard (and succeeded) at finding the positive in each day and staying focused on what’s most important (keeping my kids safe, stable and feeling as “normal” as possible). But some days/weeks it’s REALLY hard to have any coherent thoughts at all. I keep getting the rug pulled out from under me. Every single time I rely on the information I’ve been given or settle into feeling secure about what’s been agreed upon, it all changes. It messes with me! I go from being a positive, strong, focused M.O.M. to a mush-brained, semi-frantic, mess. I just want to be able to count on what I’m supposed to know!

Now I’m in a situation where I stand to lose my house and face the real struggle of feeding my kids and where the routine everyone has fallen into is being threatened to be turned upside down.

I don’t have time or energy for being messed with! And honestly, I end up going quiet when it gets like this, because it takes energy just to speak about it.

I know God has a plan. I KNOW and BELIEVE it. I’ve been shown time and time again that it’s going to be ok. But being human, I get all low and scared and my thoughts turn to gloom and doom. It messes with everything! My podcast has suffered, my blogging goes silent and I forget how strong and worthy I am.

Ick!

Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I hold it together while raising these kiddos and making darn sure there’s food and shelter and transportation and meeting with teachers and keeping tabs on what Max needs and pushing forward with getting all that will help him. I cook, clean, do the laundry, fix hair, bathe kiddos (often with the help of Maddi and Anna), support their sports, meet the neighbors and school families, go on field trips, take them to bday parties…

Could I catch a break?! All I’m asking is for a plan that’s agreed upon and upheld. Is that really too much to ask for?!

Ok. I’ll stop ranting. But I thought that maybe, just maybe if I opened this door and let it spill out that the feeling of holding my breath while smiling would leave me.

Doing the Dance of the Children…No Matter What!

This morning Lex woke up early and wanted me to sit and cuddle him. I spent some time holding him and enjoying the quiet of the early morning, but then it was time for me to get to the work I normally get done while the kids are sleeping. So I set him on the kitchen counter while I unloaded the dishes. He watched for awhile and then said, “I really wish you had 4 arms so you could hold me while you do your work.”

Sweet lil guy. He settled for his 2-armed mom giving him a bowl of cereal and allowing him to eat it lying on the counter.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

The great people at America’s SuperNanny just contacted me and asked if I’d help get the word out that they’re looking for San Diego families to apply! I wish I was still there because I’d be the first in line! Come on, we’ve all seen the awesome results these families get. Who wouldn’t want some parenting tips tailored specifically to your own family by a hands-on expert?!

Here’s a little more info;

“AMERICA’S SUPERNANNY” seeks San Diego families!

The hit parenting series SUPERNANNY is moving to Lifetime with an all-new, all-American nanny!

This season we’re looking for families with MULTIPLE CHILDREN of ALL AGES (toddlers to teens) experiencing extraordinary parenting or disciplinary challenges. Mean girls, bullying boys, kickers, biters, screamers, whiners…America’s SuperNanny is ready to take them on!

All types of families are encouraged to apply. If interested, please email Casting Associate, Gina Marks, at gmarks@shedmediaus.com.

Please include the following information:
– Name
– # of children, ages, gender
– Contact info
– Specific region of residence
– Recent family/kid photos (if available)
– A BRIEF account of your situation and why you need Supernanny’s help

For families in need of some super parenting advice, this could be the opportunity of a lifetime!

Apply here if you’re interested.

Good luck, San Diego families! While you’re applying, I’ll be here…

Doing the Dance of the Children~

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a giveaway, so let’s do one!

I’ve partnered with the great people at What to Expect to bring 2 lucky winners a set of 3 What to Expect books. You’ll receive What to Expect When You’re Expecting, What to Expect The First Year and What to Expect The Second Year.

This a perfect set for any expecting or preparing to be expecting mom. Having gone through these years several times myself and knowing that each baby and toddler comes with their own set of surprises, I think you’ll find tons of great go to advice in the pages of these books.

For those of us with older kiddos and teens, I did ask them if they could sent me a copy of What to Expect When Your Kindergartner Cries Each Morning Before School and What to Expect When You Teen Hates the Word “No”. But they didn’t seem to have copies of those. I see a writing opportunity in my future .

To enter, go to the What to Expect Facebook page and like them. Then leave me a comment letting me know you’ve checked it out. Easy! Random winners will be chosen on Friday.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Giving Away Some Great Books~