Mommy of Many®

I certainly don’t know! Can you help me?!

I haven’t had a haircut since mid August. Why? Because that was the last time I was able to go to San Diego and after finding a stylist I loved and trusted and following her to 3 different salons over a period of 4 years, I just can’t bring myself to find a local stylist. But my hair is driving me crazy! There’s simply nothing that can be done with it other than grab it into a ponytail and move on.

This is what my hair is SUPPOSED to look like.

Even a little overgrown it’s not so bad.

But NOW?! After 5 months of growing, if I want to wear it down, THIS is what I must resort to.

So instead, this is what ends up happening each day.

Yes, it’s not terrible, but it’s certainly not what I want to have to do each day!

Someone tell me who the stylist is that you LOVE. I mean it! You must LOVE them to pass their info onto me. The fact is, I’m simply not going to make it to San Diego anytime soon and I’m over this look.

Doing the Dance of Needing Some ME Pampering~

Today I set out to tell you about all the beauty I found in this year. I pondered the challenges this year had brought and the beautiful people who stepped into my life to help me overcome them. I thought about how far I’d come since last December and all I thought was impossible that now IS. I started to write about it all and then…THEN…A ton of life hit me upside the head and I realized that the year wasn’t quite over. That there were still challenges and friction, speed bumps and  monkey wrenches that hadn’t yet shown themselves in this calendar year and that these challenges weren’t happy to not have gotten their chance. I spent the entire day in shock, awe and challenge. Ick! I see that 2011 isn’t done with me yet.

Ok!

I guess I’ll tell you about all the beauty I’ve encountered after I make it through this current torrent of yuck. The beauty is there. The strength, growth and promise…it’s all there. It’s just not ready to be presented. So, I will spend tonight and tomorrow finishing the undoneness of this year. Then, I’m gonna tell you about some seriously Good Stuff!

Finish it up 2011. Let me know what you’ve got and let’s get it over with. I’m moving forward. Ever forward!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

After meeting with other Kindergarten parents for coffee and running errands this morning, I came home to get a couple hours of work done before the pick-ups begin. My house decided we would play a game…Name That Noise!

I sat down to get some things started and heard a little beep. It caught my attention, but I quickly forgot about it. After hearing it a few more times I realized it was a familiar sound and had to dig through the archives of my brain to remember what it was. Ah HA! It was the gently, annoying alert that your smoke detector’s battery is dying. Ok! I began the hunt for the offending detector. That one! I went into the hall and stood very still and silent. Nope! It sounded like it was coming from around the corner. Around the corner I went-silent and still, I waited. Wait! It’s coming from the hall, where I first thought I heard it. Again I waited. Seriously?! I moved through 3 other rooms and eliminated them as the offending detectors. Back to the hall. But how the heck am I going to get to it? I have high ceilings and only step ladders. *head scratching* I’ve got it! I pushed my coffee table into the hall and put the step ladder on top of it. Totally safe and sturdy (uh huh!). Up I climbed and again waited in silence. Beep! Are you kidding me?! The sound was NOT coming from above my head! So I took a moment to wipe away cobwebs from the high corners of the hall and climbed down. I decided to give up and wait until the every-60 second-beep turns into a constant alarm that will surely point me to the correct detector. Good plan, right?

So back to my room to begin some work. *whistle* Huh?! What’s that sound? Wait….*whistle* Up from my desk and into the back room, trying to hunt down what sounds like a creaky weathervane. Nothing! *whistle* I made one more lap around the house, decided I don’t have a weathervane or anything else metallic that would be creaking in the wind and made the command decision to ignore whatever it might be.

Again to my desk….waiting….NOTHING! No beeping detector. No whistling metallic sound. No noises at all! Hey house, you win! I was unable to identify the 2 noises you chose to throw at me. Sure was fun playing though.

House-1, M.O.M.-0

I’ll brush up on my listening skills for the next round. For now, I’m getting some work done.

Doing the Dance of the Noisy House~

Well ain’t that the truth!

I never do this-I never publicly complain about how it is. But tonight I’m hot! I’m so dang hot and I’m so sick of being on 24/7 and having every single waking moment be about the well-being of my kids (as it should be), only to have an angry teen berate and bully me because they don’t get what they want. Guess what?! Sometimes the answer is “NO”! No, you are not allowed to watch an inappropriate movie and NO you don’t get to bully me because of my appropriate parenting. And dang it…I’m sick and tired of being blamed for how unfair it is that your life had to change. You know what?! Mine did too! And I don’t always like it. But I’m making the best of it and I’m working my behind off every moment of every day to make sure I’m doing the very best I can for all of you. Sometimes that’s going to mean you’re being parented and teens, even in the very best of situations, aren’t always happy with being parented. But it’s still my job!

It’s not fair!

Yep! Totally not fair! It’s not fair that everything I thought I was working for was a sham. It’s not fair that after 9 kids and 40 yrs of life that I have to worry about how to keep food on the table and a roof over most of those kid’s heads. It’s not fair! But it’s life! It’s life! And honestly, fair or not, each day brings something beautiful and I am working SO hard to give as much of that beauty as I can to my kids. That’s the goal of each of my days. I want them to feel loved, protected, secure and free. And you know what?! I want the same for myself. So go ahead, be angry. Call me names. Tell me it’s unfair and that I’m horrible. I’ve done what I needed to. Every single step I’ve made has been put before me and I know that God’s with me each day. And I won’t stop parenting. Not because of your fit. Not because of your anger. Not because you bully me and not because you tell others lies about who I am. It’s my job and I’ll keep doing it.

It’s not fair, but it’s true!

Doing the Dance of the Children!

Oh what a weekend!

So here’s my story. Feel free to feel all the appropriate feelings as you read and don’t be afraid to laugh. I’m giving you this one, on me.

Many of you know that my life has changed quite a bit in the last 6 months (well, really in the last few years). I’ve moved from Pacific Beach, Ca. to Rocklin, Ca. and with that move came lots of other life changes. Divorce/single-parenting/money issues…

After finding this great house, getting my kids enrolled in school and embarking on my new routine and budget, I found out that the support I thought I was going to be raising the kids on was in serious jeopardy because their dad was no longer working. I decided to become a Silpada Designs Rep to help keep us afloat. It was the one company I knew I could get behind since I’d been wearing their jewelry and watching the effect it has on people for the last 5 years. So I sent out emails and FB messages to let people know that this was what I was doing and why and I started booking parties. Yea!

This weekend I had my first 2 parties. I studied up, asked questions, attended some training and was ready to bring some fabulous jewelry to some awesome ladies!

Saturday morning I got the kids all packed up and ready to go with their dad, as I would be away and busy for the weekend. When he showed up, we switched vehicles (whichever parent has the kiddos needs the van to accommodate them) and I quickly realized I was left with NO gas. Off to the gas station I went. And here’s where the real story begins…

I slid my card and it was declined. I slid my other card and again, declined. I rummaged through my purse, came up with $10 and a $5 Safeway gift card. On $15 of gas and a prayer, I embarked on the journey from Rocklin to Oakland to try to make some money. I took off and was hopeful. No, I take that back-I was confident I would make it! I turned on the music and started driving. All was good for the 1st hour then I realized I was getting L-O-W. I was driving and older vehicle and began to wonder if it had a gas light or if I would simply run out of gas without warning. I started brainstorming. The best I could come up with was that I have roadside assistance and if/when I truly ran out of gas, I could call them. After a few moments I decided that if this was my BEST plan that I better decide I had NO plan! Who wants to run out of gas, pray your way to the side of the freeway and wait for an hour or so for help?! No good! It was about this time that I got my answer to the light question. Yep! It had a gas light and that light was now on. I stayed as calm as I could and realized I had no option (other than the roadside one) but to call my hostess and tell her what was happening. Ugh! Thank goodness she’s one of my oldest friends and while I’m sure she was annoyed, she would have an idea or a solution.

I dialed, she said “hello?” and I lost it! LOST IT! She asked where I was and told me what exit to try to make it to and that she’d meet me. That FABULOUS friend drove 20 minutes to meet me, put some gas in my car and give me the hug I needed.

She ended up having a GREAT party and earning nearly $300 in FREE jewelry! Thank goodness! I did, in fact make a little money and had no trouble getting home. But wow! What a beginning! I was so shook up that I gave every person the wrong part of their receipt and had to make phone calls letting them know I’d had an “off” day and needed their card info again. Geesh!

So, here’s to humble beginnings, being able to laugh at yourself and to being thankful for the beautiful people in my life.

To Life~

It’s been a hell of a week.

Through out this years-long process of separation and divorce I’ve been pretty quiet about all I go through. I’ve tried hard (and succeeded) at finding the positive in each day and staying focused on what’s most important (keeping my kids safe, stable and feeling as “normal” as possible). But some days/weeks it’s REALLY hard to have any coherent thoughts at all. I keep getting the rug pulled out from under me. Every single time I rely on the information I’ve been given or settle into feeling secure about what’s been agreed upon, it all changes. It messes with me! I go from being a positive, strong, focused M.O.M. to a mush-brained, semi-frantic, mess. I just want to be able to count on what I’m supposed to know!

Now I’m in a situation where I stand to lose my house and face the real struggle of feeding my kids and where the routine everyone has fallen into is being threatened to be turned upside down.

I don’t have time or energy for being messed with! And honestly, I end up going quiet when it gets like this, because it takes energy just to speak about it.

I know God has a plan. I KNOW and BELIEVE it. I’ve been shown time and time again that it’s going to be ok. But being human, I get all low and scared and my thoughts turn to gloom and doom. It messes with everything! My podcast has suffered, my blogging goes silent and I forget how strong and worthy I am.

Ick!

Yes, I’m strong. Yes, I hold it together while raising these kiddos and making darn sure there’s food and shelter and transportation and meeting with teachers and keeping tabs on what Max needs and pushing forward with getting all that will help him. I cook, clean, do the laundry, fix hair, bathe kiddos (often with the help of Maddi and Anna), support their sports, meet the neighbors and school families, go on field trips, take them to bday parties…

Could I catch a break?! All I’m asking is for a plan that’s agreed upon and upheld. Is that really too much to ask for?!

Ok. I’ll stop ranting. But I thought that maybe, just maybe if I opened this door and let it spill out that the feeling of holding my breath while smiling would leave me.

Doing the Dance of the Children…No Matter What!

It’s never fun when your kids have a public meltdown and realizing that you may have been the cause of such an emotionally taxing event makes it even worse!

For the past several weeks, Gabi’s been working hard to earn 10 blue ribbons from her teacher. These little awards are given out for all sorts of good behavior in the classroom. Gabi’s been bringing them home and taping them to her bedroom door, anxious to get to her goal and earn the prize of a trip to the dollar store with me. 2 days ago she brought home her 10th ribbon. Whoo Hoo! We decided we’d make our trip out to the dollar store the following day. Happy, happy girl! On the way, I asked her if she’d rather get a drink at Starbucks or a milkshake or even a yogurt from the local yogurt shop. She answered “no” to all. Ok then! To the dollar store it is! But first I wanted to stop at a local department store that I’d been wanting to check out. Here is where I went wrong.

We meandered through the women’s shoe department and the home department and then stumbled upon the kid’s section. It wasn’t big, but it DID have a fancy, $10 Barbie puzzle that came with all manner of decor to liven it up after you’ve put it together. The idea of the dollar store went completely out of Gabi’s head. She wanted that puzzle! I pointed out $5 items instead, explaining that her reward was really only $1 ($2 on the outside, if she really couldn’t pick between 2 wonderfully eye-catching items). I said I was willing to go with one of the $5 items, but $10 was too much and I’d keep it in mind for her birthday. Once the meltdown started I even went so far as to say that there are often lots of things we want but that they just simply aren’t available to us. In my frustrated explanation I may have said something like, “if you’re offered a fancy cup of coffee, you don’t get to cry about wanting a new car!”. Maybe…

So I carried her into the dollar store, trying to lure her with the likes of fairy wands and whole bags of ring pops. Still the tears flowed. I finally let her know she could pick out 2 items and that I promised I would remember that she wanted that puzzle for the future. Still she cried. Eventually she picked out 2 items and we got back to the van where she started screaming that I needed to go back and return them because she DID NOT want them! Ugh~

We made it home where I asked her  to go spend some time in her room and that if she really REALLY didn’t want the 2 items, I’d take them back in the morning. I made dinner feeling like the worst mom. I totally ruined her experience!

The good news is that she DID get over it. She came out and broke open the paints and the lovely, rose suncatcher and had a great time painting it. Then we hung it in her window. All good.

Lesson Learned! Stick with the plan!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Learning all the Way~

Every time I’ve sat down to write about a zillion different topics, my mind wanders to the same one-Max. Max, my brilliant, stubborn, imaginative, frustrating, lil guy who’s locked in a complicated web of ideas, thoughts, outbursts, social struggles, compassion and Aspergers. When he puts his mind to something, amazing things happen and when he’s got his mind locked against something, NOTHING happens. He does best when he’s busy and his mind is working hard on solving problems. But you have to be very careful of how things are presented to him. If he gets an inkling that you’re asking anything extra of him, he will completely shut down and this boy is STUBBORN! But, if something extra is presented as a competition, he’s on it! Oh the games!

I’m frustrated right now because his outbursts are interrupting classroom time, but this is a tough thing to define. There’s no IEP for Max’s “disorder”. He went through the GATE testing, but no GATE classes are available to him.

Just a mommy’s rantings over the frustration of wanting your child to have the best schooling experience possible-one that fits what they need, where they make friends and participate appropriately and are guided where needed and challenged accordingly.

~sigh~

Now that I’m mostly settled in the new house and I know what to expect of my routine, it’s time to seek out what’s going to benefit Max socially and educationally. Sometimes parenting hurts my head.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Looking for the Right Music~

All of a sudden my house has gone from girl-dominated to boy-dominated. Yes, I have 3 of each in the house right now, but my older 2 girls pretty much have their stuff down and I’m not “managing” them as much as I’m “managing” the 4 younger kids. And 3 of those 4 younger ones are boys. I am the oldest of 9 children. I have 7, yes 7, sisters and 1 brother. He’s the youngest. He was only 5 years old when I left the house with my oldest child. Then I had JJ, who was surrounded by 4 sisters. Now, I’m scratching my head and trying to figure out what’s the “norm” for a houseful of boys who are fairly close in age.

For the last few weeks I’ve found myself in constant “STOP IT” mode. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s me that needs to stop it and just let them battle it out, annoy each other, argue, wrestle and fight. I really just don’t know. I feel like they’re constantly throwing things, banging on things, battling each other and competing. Normal boy stuff? I sure hope so because I’m feeling worn out and my throat hurts from repeating the same instructions and directions a ZILLION times each day. How much is just what boys do? Even with an age difference do they still have to establish a pecking order? When do I intervene?

Help!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Wishing it Was More Like Dead Poet’s Society than Lord of the Flies~

After writing a witty (if I do say so myself) post about this afternoon and evening’s goings on, my STUPID, I-can’t-yet-afford-a-real-internet-connection, connection failed me…for the 3rd time this week! Grrrr…

Yes, I need to start saving things as I write them (hold on, I need to save this…) and look into my internet options, but COME ON!

~sigh~

So there you go. That’s what I’ve got for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll try again. This evening really was worth hearing about. Let’s talk soon.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Trying to Write About it~

I love so many things about this new house but as I’ve really looked at everything, I’ve found a few little items that I have a feeling will end up giving me trouble. I didn’t expect the 1st one to happen on Day 1 of our move-in. But with kids, I guess you should always expect the unexpected!

This was me, yesterday. Though, the hands in the drawing look a lot calmer than mine did.

The kids’ bathroom has 2 doors into it. Both have locks. When I saw that, I KNEW that at some point there was going to be a kiddo who was going to think it was funny to lock both doors and leave. Gabi got the award. As soon as I saw her shut the door and she looked at me, I knew what had happened. I don’t have any tools at the house yet and there wasn’t a “hidden” key above either of the doors. So I loaded up the kiddos and was headed out to pick up a couple of screwdrivers. On the way out of the neighborhood I noticed a garage sale with a washer and dryer available. Whoo Hoo! I stopped to ask questions. Once we got talking I ended up sharing my locked bathroom story and my friendly, new neighbors handed me 2 screwdrivers to try out. Hooray for friendly and helpful neighbors! It took me about 1/2 an hour, but I got the knob off, the door unlocked and the knob replaced AND…I bought the washer and dryer! I’m excited to be able to start doing our laundry in the house.

Now to find a refrigerator and buy some screwdrivers to keep handy!

Doing the Dance of the Children, One Adventure at a Time~

As my move gets closer, the craziness is intensifying.

Yesterday I found out that the movers, who I was counting on for this huge job, were no longer coming in time for us to vacate by the mandatory date of June 30th. Huh?!

As I’ve looked around this house and done what I could do to clean out and organize, while still taking care of, feeding, clothing, driving around and entertaining 7 kiddos, the one thought that kept going through my head was, “Thank goodness I have packers and movers coming!”. Isn’t God funny? He continually drags me out of my comfort zone and asks me to trust that in my discomfort He will take care of it. You should see the marks on the floor from all that dragging! I dig my heels in pretty good.

So I spent yesterday in a whirlwind of worry, disbelief, anger and despair. I was pretty sure that this just might be the thing that was going to break me. If you got a phone call from me yesterday I want to say Thank You for helping me put my thoughts together and helping me make a plan. By bedtime I had decided to let go of the worry and the control and let it all just happen (this sounds like it was easy, but don’t be fooled!). I was reminded that the most important things I have will be with me in the van-my children-and that everything else needs to be released from my worry. Things will get where they need to go. They just won’t get there the way I wanted. Well, I guess that just can’t be important right now.

I need to spend these next 9 days doing what I CAN do and taking care of my kids and trying to give them all that I am able before we leave. The rest will have to figure itself out.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

~Sigh~

Let’s start way back in last September…

Mariah headed to work after a stop at the Starbucks near her. After drinking her beverage of choice she worked for awhile and then was found by a coworker, passed out in the back room. We were called and her dad picked her up and off to the ER they went. She was ultimately admitted, spent 3 days there and was put through a battery of tests for “seizure like episodes”. Nothing was determined. She followed up with the neurologist, went through more tests and STILL nothing was found. So…she avoided caffeine-completley.

That is, until yesterday morning.

She spent the night before up and working on a paper. In the morning she decided to pilfer what was left in my coffee pot. After a few sips, she started feeling “odd”. By this time, I was at work and ignored the 4 calls from the high school, because I figured they were about 1 of my other daughter’s absences and I could deal with it when I was off. Then the preschool phone went off. But we don’t answer it because it doesn’t really work well and you can’t actually hear what the person on the other end is saying. I turned to the teacher I work with and said, “Wow! I haven’t heard THAT ring in FOREVER!” Then MY phone went off again and it was my cousin sending a text that said, “call me RIGHT NOW!”. I knew it was serious! I called right away and found out that I needed to call the high school. I found out that my daughter had had an “episode” and was being sent, by ambulance, to the hospital. I, quickly, gathered my things and headed out (of course I had to make numerous phone calls on the way, so that my kids had the after-school rides they needed). I arrived before the ambulance. When they got there, she was admitted and we played the “tests” game. All came up fine. During her ER stay, she had 2 “episodes”. They went unexplained and she was released with a prescription for anti-seizure meds. We came home. I dropped her off, ran to the school to grab my 2nd grader, get him to an appointment, and continue Doing the Dance of the Children.

I finally made it home, made dinner, fed everyone and headed out to an appointment. I had made it about 5 minutes out when my phone rang. My 14 yr. old was frantic and just said, “she’s having a seizure”. I told her to hang up, dial 911 and that I’d turn around and be right there. When I arrived the paramedics where already in the house and with Mariah. She was not responding to their questions. The firemen arrived soon after and it was nice to see a friendly face. One of the responding firefighters has children who go to school with mine. That felt good! It was determined that Mariah should go back to the ER and should be transported by ambulance. I agreed to get caffeine, gear up for a long night and meet them there. I drove through my local Starbuck’s drive-thru (Hey! I was already completely drained from the day. I knew I’d need caffeine.) and luckily, my incoherence was ignored (because they know me and know what I drink) and my drink was prepared, handed to me and they told me that good thoughts were being sent her way. I got to the ER, was greeted by a corpsman that had been there when we were there earlier and I was pointed in the right direction. She was already stickered up and being tested.

Nothing!!!! Nothing!!!! Nothing!!!!

They sent us home after declaring that they really couldn’t say what was happening and that she should take the anti-seizure meds and wait for the follow-up with the neurologist. Ok Then.

This morning we got ready for school and work and headed out the door. I got settled into work and my phone went off. It was the high school. They said that either I needed to come get her or they were going to call 911. So much for work! Off I went (again making phone calls to ensure the kiddos would be ok for the day). When I arrived, they said that the episode was not the same as yesterday, but that she seemed “out of it”. They asked that I go back to the ER and make sure that she was cleared to be at school. I think I get my Frequent Vistor’s Card now.

So, they declared that she can be at school and she feels that the “episode” today was due to the meds and that she WON’T be taking them again.

I’m not sure what to say. So now we wait. We wait for the neurologist to call with the follow-up.

That’s it. That’s all I’ve got to share. No real answers.

I can’t help but wonder if the initial “episode” was caused by a hypersensitivity to caffeine that was enhanced due to stress. Maybe?

No matter what it was, it was scary and it leaves me uneasy with her heading off to school in August. Hopefully there will be answers by then.

And with that I say-Doing the Dance of the Children~

After writing about my fear of new things, I started to think (and be reminded) of other instances where I let fear bind me and how I eventually overcame each thing. I thought I’d write them down. This way when I’m facing another new thing I can come over here and see that I’ve been successful ALL these other times. And maybe my list will help others through their own fears.

I left my iPod in it’s box for a whole year before I tried it out. An ENTIRE year!
When my PC was taken away and my Mac showed up on my desk I shunned it for a month. Once I gave it a try I became a loyal fan. I’ll never go back!
For the 1st 4 months of recording my podcasts I stayed as far away from the process as possible, fearing GarageBand fiercely.
Finding a new Dr.
Going into Tiffany’s (I was so afraid that they’d give me one look and ask me what-the-heck I thought I was doing in there).
Giving my Opinion-Ever.

I stood in my neighbor’s living room and debated with her over a trip I was going to take with my baby. I was going to visit a friend and I was SO paralyzed with the fear of leaving my other children and actually going somewhere. I made up a zillion excuses and like a good and true friend, she shot EVERY ONE of them down. I’ll bet she’s reading this with a smirk on her face, because she knows I took that trip and I had a GREAT time and that it opened the door in me to be able to take other trips. Now THAT’S a friend!

I let a toothache go for more than a YEAR! Resulting in the eventual loss of said tooth!

I FREAKED OUT after a blogging agreement between myself and Kraze Bootcamps. I spent about a week wondering what-in-the-world was wrong with me for even thinking I could do such a thing. Then I went and I kept going and blogging and it got SO Good!!!!! I found out that I was made of some pretty good stuff and didn’t need to be intimidated by push-ups or jumping jacks (though they tried REALLY hard to frighten me).

I cried and explained that I really really didn’t want to have to go through labor and delivery, let’s see…about 8 of the 9 times I did it. Guess what-I still had to. And guess what-I lived to tell the tales.

I’m sure there are plenty of other things I could come up with. I’ll probably publish this post and think of something really great that I forgot to put in here. But bottom line-all these things were HUGE stumbling blocks for me. I spent time agonizing over each thing and when I finally faced them, I found out I was stronger or more capable or actually enjoyed the changes they brought to my life. I know it won’t stop me from having anxiety over new things, but maybe talking about it will ease the fear.

Interestingly enough, I’m noticing that I only become frozen by things that effect just me. When I have to go outside my comfort zone for my kids-Done! A mama’s gotta do what a mama’s gotta do. Hmmm.

Doing the Dance of the Children AND Life and Learning Each Day~

This evening I sat with my webmaster for 2 hours, trying to learn some new things and trying to get my latest recipe video up on the site. After a few glitches and lots of hard work (on his part), I was told what I could do to change things up the way I wanted. He left and I pondered the things I learned (or tried to learn).

After running a couple errands for my kiddos, I got home, changed into some comfy clothes and came to my computer to “Get it Done”. Whoo Hoo! I was SO excited! Yeah…until I actually made the changes and then realized that I had suddenly made my video disappear. All I wanted to do was add a title!

There are SO many things I know and understand and then there’s all the techno stuff that just has no place in my brain. I try! I listen. I hear. But I just don’t understand! None of the code-talk makes sense to me. And because it doesn’t make sense, I can’t make my brain walk through a logical path of how to make it all work. Ultimately, there are things I’ve learned-how to record a podcast, how to edit the podcast and use a specific program to make it show up where I want it (kind of). I can write a blog post like nobody’s business! I can even add pictures…uploaded from all sorts of places…but there is simply so much I can’t do!

So after a ton of work and time, I seem to have undone what I was trying to enhance.

~sigh~

This is where I just need to say Thank You to the people who make the things happen that I can not.

I sure hope that email I sent gets read and that my video magically (or so it seems to me) shows up!

Off to bed with this techno-challenged M.O.M. I wonder if I’ll dream of html code. And I wonder how “easy” it is to click *magic* keys and make it all reappear.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Being Thankful For Those That Play the Music~