Mommy of Many®

Over the last couple of days I’ve had 2 questions on my mind. I’m hoping to hear what your experiences have been (if any) with either or both of these-

1) has a child of yours ever had a friend who repeatedly blamed them for things they didn’t do?

2) Have you ever been at a playground (or in a shared playing experience) and had and unpleasant parent ruin the experience to the point that you felt that it was time to leave?

I can’t wait to hear how you’ve dealt with these things.

Doing the Dance of the Children and always looking for the best Dance steps~

Abs and Core

That was the theme of today’s Kraze Boot Camp workout. Though my rear end and legs are still demanding attention from yesterday’s class! OUCH!

I’m finding it difficult to write about today’s class because I’m preoccupied with my itchy eyes, throat, back and arms. Aaron had us run over to a grassy area, form a large circle, get down on the grass and do all the abs and core exercises right on the grass. Uh…I’m allergic! I’ve taken meds to combat the effects of the grass on my eyes and throat since I was a small child. But who am I to say anything?! One of the top rules of Boot Camp is, “no complaining”. So there you go! I hope I can show up for tomorrow’s 6am class Claritin Clear!

After an abs workout, I always feel cheated. I worked hard, got all sweaty, breathed hard and can feel all those muscles feeling nice and tight…UNDER THE FLAB. It just seems unfair that to the everyday, naked eye, my stomach just looks like any ol’ stomach, because underneath it feels so good!

Notebook update-As I’ve mentioned, we’ve been asked to keep track of our daily foods by writing down all that we consume. This has been a good thing…really! But it’s a chore and a lot of head work;

Me-”Sure, I’ll make Mexican Lasagna for all of you guys! Yep, invite everyone you’d like, over to eat.”
My Brain-”GREAT! What am I supposed to do?! I feed so many people each night and I have to make meals that are inexpensive, good and go far enough that whomever walks through the door can be fed. Mexican Lasagna definitely fits all that criteria but I need to serve it with tortilla chips and guac if it’s going to fill everyone. There ARE black beans, fresh tomatoes, fresh onions, avocados and cheese involved, but there’s also, flour tortillas, refried beans (but the vegetarian kind, so there’s no animal fats involved) and corn. I feel stuck between cooking a certain way that fits my budget and feeds the masses and eating in a way that I don’t wince when I write it down!”

So there you have it. Yep, I’ve been writing everything down and I’ve gotten lots of helpful tips without being chastised, but I still feel very sensitive about the whole thing.

Tomorrow is the end of this week. 2 more weeks to go in this session. I know I’m stronger. I know I have better endurance and I know I need to be conscience about what I eat. Joining Boot Camp and taking on the challenge of going daily and working the best I can each day IS paying off in better habits, a better attitude and a leaner, healthier me. I just have to find a good balance for the whole meal issue.

It’s never too late to come out and give a class a try! I’d love to see you! Message Aaron and let him know you’d like to see what all the hype is about. Be a part of the Fastest Growing Outdoor Boot Camp in San Diego!

I was getting dinner into the crock pot and it called for a can of Cream of Mushroom soup. No problem! I went to the cupboard and pulled one out, opened it up and discovered Cream of Chicken inside. So I went back to the cupboard took out a can of Cream of Chicken, opened it up and discovered Cream of Chicken inside. I had to open 3 cans before I actually got Cream of Mushroom.

Hey Target-someone needs to check the product/label issue!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Just Trying to get some Dinner Made~

For the last 3 days I’ve been browsing craft stores and sitting, for hours, at my computer, pouring over pictures of Arianna and Maddi. All of this in the effort to get started on their 8th grade, graduation, memory boards.

Did I wait until days before they were due because I didn’t know what to do or what to expect? Heck no! These are the 4th and 5th boards I’ve done and a year ago, when they finished 7th grade, I told myself I should start prepping the photos so I wouldn’t be rushed or anxious. Ha! It’s just that everything got away from me (whine, whine, whine, excuse, excuse, excuse). I was single-parenting, due to deployment and I spent the summer days keeping the kids busy. The nights were spent trying to catch up around the house and to get a little sleep. Then the Fall came and I went to work (more excuses). I spent each day juggling school, housework, sports and a work schedule. Then February arrived and my brother came to stay. Life got a little easier. I looked around at all I was behind on, thought of the girls’ graduations that were merely months away and did another load of laundry.

Fast forward to the first weekend of June…Uh…it’s time!

This week is a little crazy and I’m feeling overwhelmed. But, the girls will graduate. The boards will be done. Life will move on.

So-deep breath and a glass of water for this M.O.M. and tomorrow I will tackle a little more. And hopefully I’ll learn from my great dislike of anxious feelings and not do something like this again…

Somehow I have a feeling I’ll be writing like this again. There are lessons we just don’t learn.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Sibling dynamics…

A couple of mornings ago, Tristan came into my room, upset and saying things I didn’t quite understand. I asked him to calm down and explain. This is what I got-

Tristan-”Luke-Xavier got on my game and spent all my coins.”
Me-”I’m sorry. How’d he know what to do?”
Tristan-”I don’t know. He watches us play. I had 146 coins and he spent 123!”
Me-”I’m sorry”
Tristan-”He bought me a wooden llama!”
Me-*giggling*”I’m really sorry that he did that. I’ll tell him he can’t just get on other people’s accounts and do that sort of stuff”
Tristan-”He bought me a WOODEN LLAMA and I only have 23 coins left!”
Me-”I’m really sorry”
Tristan-”But I was saving for a Tropical Squid!”

At this point I couldn’t hold back the laughter. My 4yr old is savvy enough to get on his brother’s account and figure out how to buy “pets” and the thought of a wooden llama vs. the desired, tropical squid sent me into giggles.

I guess I’ll just have to let Tristan play a little extra so he can earn his coins back and finally get his squid.

Just one more dance step in Doing the Dance of the Children

Yesterday evening I decided to take the 4 youngest kiddos to the rec center park by our house. They got their bikes, scooters,skate boards and helmets and were raring to go. I just needed to grab something out of the car before we went over. So, I opened the back, grabbed what I needed and shut door. The second I shut it I knew I was in trouble. I immediately tried to reopen it, but the “click” of the lock had already been heard. And with that, my keys were inside. Wait, not only the keys to the VW, but to the van as well. Great!

I decided to still walk the kids over to use the rest of the daylight to play and I could call for the car to be unlocked after I was home.

Playtime over, kids in bath and the phone call for the car made…

When the tow truck guy got to the house he assured me that not only does this happen all the time, but that it’s quick and easy to get it open. After-all, in all of his time of doing this, there’s only been 1 car that he hasn’t been able to open and that was because it had a special kind of lock.

40 minutes later he called for back up.

So now, I had 2 tow truck guys (one who looked like he had SURELY opened every car imaginable) working to get my car open. They tried 3 doors, with various tools and still my keys laid their taunting us. After an hour and much frustration the car finally gave in and let them in.

I’m just thankful that this happened in my driveway and not in a parking lot somewhere! And yes, another set of keys is in order.

Have a great day~

Kids are a funny bunch!

This morning, on the way to church, the older kids were REALLY giving each other a hard time. The bickering and picking was almost unbearable. Then we got to church and everyone pulled it together and attended mass the way they each know how to. Then, back to the van we go and the bickering and picking started right back up! Sometimes its positively merciless!

Bickering…picking…name-calling, all the way from the church, to Starbucks, from Starbucks to the reception we were heading to. Then something magical happened…

We got to the reception and suddenly everyone had happy faces, kind words and helpful attitudes. WHAT?! Who were these kids who just moments before were mortal enemies?! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this phenomenon in action.

So many times, over the years, other parents have complimented my children’s behavior and I’ve had to wonder what children they must be talking about. I’ve met the sweetest, most polite children and complimented parents on their children’s behavior, only to have them say, “I’m so glad they behave outside of the house because inside, they are always testing the limits”.

I’m convinced that this is the mark of a truly good child-one who tests all the rules and limits inside their own home, with their own family, while remembering what their parents expect of them when they go outside their comfort zone. It stinks for the parents, but we should take comfort in knowing that our kids have listened, but still need to test the waters and feel safe and comfortable enough to do it within the walls of their homes and the safety of the family that they know is going to love them, even with challenging behavior.

So, all of us, who have been complimented on how amazingly wonderfully behaved our kids are, should pat ourselves on the back and not worry about the fact that those same kiddos are going to give us grey hair and sleepless nights. We’re doin’ it right!

Here’s to parenting…may we all make it through another day of Doing the Dance of the Children~

“Hi Mrs Lang. Please come back on Monday. What time’s good for you?”
That’s pretty much how yesterday went. Ok, there was a little more to it, but that’s the gist of the whole thing. NMC Balboa has a walk-in breast health and mammogram clinic. With my busy schedule, I thought it was the perfect solution for me. They felt differently. Because I’m not yet 40 and have no family history of breast cancer, they offered me an appointment with the Dr. instead of walking me in for a mammogram.

So, there you go! That’s the whole story to all of yesterday’s hype. Geesh! I got all worked up for nothing.

What do you wanna bet they see me on Monday and then end up scheduling a mammogram? Such is life.

Have a great day~

I wanted to take a minute to address some of the comments I’ve received about the on-going issue of undone school work and my kiddo who isn’t happy with school. I’ve had several thought-provoking responses and I think they deserve to be responded to.

In my 21 years of parenting I have approached schooling in many ways. I’ve had children in public schools and in the private school system.  There was also a time when we were frequently moving because of military orders and it made sense to take schooling into my own hands at some points during those moves. There have been issues with the way a child learns or how to best help them glean the knowledge that’s within all those text books and I chose to bring a child home for a year and 1/2 to try to find the holes in their learning, plug them and get the child back into the classroom setting. We’ve worked with tutors and learning centers along the way. In my journey through parenting and schooling I’ve had to face something head on-when choosing to homeschool, both the child AND the parent have to be considered. I have had to be honest enough with myself to face the fact that I am not a parent that is well-suited to homeschooling. I have neither the time nor the space to give it the solid attention that I desire and that it deserves. It’s been a bitter pill to swallow. I have had friends and acquaintances throughout all of my years of parenting who have done a very good, successful and solid job of schooling their children. I have had to realize that it is not for everyone and just because I have a child or a situation that isn’t particularly suited to the traditional classroom setting, doesn’t automatically mean that the answer is for me to become the child’s teacher. Believe me, I have tried this, been successful (enough) at it and still had to accept that it’s not for me.

Many kudos to those that have done and are taking on this immensely, important task in their children’s lives. I TRULY wish I could join you. But we must all face our strengths and weaknesses, be honest about them and then work from there.

Many of you have suggested that my child who is having such a tough time at school and within the structure of the classroom, be home schooled. You have suggested I look at all the people, throughout history who have contributed great things to our world and how they didn’t fit, well, into the traditional settings of school. Thank you. I do see this. I will have to weigh all my options while leaving homeschooling out of the equation.

As for my meeting with the teacher…it could have gone better. I understand that she is just as frustrated as I am with what we are seeing. However, I give her credit for seeing that this isn’t an issue of work that is too difficult-it’s not the curriculum, but an issue of learning to work within the structured environment. I know that some of you are of the opinion that it isn’t particularly necessary for my child (or any child) to HAVE to learn to do this. On this point, we disagree. I feel that it’s important because in all the stages of our lives and in all we must do to be successful, functioning parts of our society require us to learn to work within the perimeters of that structure. We get to choose our outlets, whether they be sports, music or art, where we are able to find the way in which we like to use our time and let our thoughts be free-flowing, but there is always going to be the job that we must go to and the way in which that job must be functioned. If a child doesn’t learn to work within a structured environment and under time constraints, I don’t see how they can fully function, successfully as an adult, in society.

Thank you for all your suggestions and thoughts. I will continue to try to find the best way to give my child the tools needed to become a happy and successful student and growing kiddo.

Onto this day and Doing the Dance of the Children~

A while back I talked about finding many, MANY pages of undone or partially done school work under one of my children’s beds. This happens to be the same child who is hating school. After making the kiddo climb under the bed and pull out all the papers and letting them know that they would be brought into the teacher and we would discuss how and when to get them all done, I figured the problem was over. Shortly after that, the teacher let me know that she had found several undone papers crumpled in the back of this child’s desk. We, again, made a plan for getting the work done-some of which no longer counted toward grades.

After having met with the teacher and my child and talking about the importance of the work and that if help was needed, all they needed to do was ask, I made the decision to change the way this child did homework and made sure that they were accompanied at the table, over each piece of work. So, since January, this child comes home, gets a snack and then sits down with someone and is guided through the homework that’s been presented from the back pack. Apparently even THIS isn’t a sufficient enough way of doing things to keep the child on task, because 2 days ago I received an envelope of papers and a note. Yep, more crumpled papers in the back of the desk!

So, last night I pulled all the papers out and organized them into piles. There was a total of 46 undone or partially done worksheet pages representing all of the subjects being studied. There’s the pile of “Done but not turned in” (I still don’t understand why that’s happening). There’s the pile of “Is this too old to matter?”. And finally the pile of “Completely not touched and needs to be tackled”. I wrote a note for each pile and am taking them into the teacher today to have her glance through and let me know that she wants each item taken care of.

~sigh~

This whole thing is making me crazy. Yes, I’ve sat and talked with my child. I’ve asked all the questions and offered all the help. I’ve taken the steps to make sure guidance is in place. I’ve done everything short of sitting in the classroom with them. Is that next?! Am I ultimately headed back to grade school?! I know, I know…just a little bit of being dramatic there.

Ok, getting the kids going for this new day of school and going in to talk with the teacher…again.

Prayers and well wishes appreciated!

Have a great day~

~Sigh~

One of my kiddos truly hates school. Every Sunday they look at me and say,”I know what tomorrow is…the worst day of the week.” The work curriculum isn’t a problem. Friends aren’t a challenge. They just, truly hate having to go and sit in a structured environment and complete work in a given time-frame. This particular child is a big thinker and is always thinking of a better way to do things or a better way to build things and can get lost in thoughts of planning and inventing and building for a long time.

The teacher and I have had several meetings and have come up with all sorts of ideas to help this child look at the whole thing differently. But each plan has failed. I’ve got someone working with them to see if we can find better tools for them to succeed inside the perimeters of the school day and the classroom structure. But that takes time and the school year is speeding toward it’s finishing point.

I’ve had another child who felt this same way and was just as lost in thought and they are now a successful High School Senior who is headed off to college in the Fall. I’m hoping they will have something to offer their younger sibling to help change all these feelings.

Anyone been here? What did you do?

Have a great day~

My to-do list just won’t ease up. It’s the time of the year to really feel overwhelmed! I’m getting ready for a high school graduation that I have NO control over, because it’s happening in PA. And I’m getting ready for 2 8th grade graduations and all the prep of getting those girls ready for and into high school. I wake up each morning, determined to tackle the hardest, most time-consuming and cumbersome items on my list, only to crawl into bed each night knowing that I face those items in the morning.

Tackle something already lady!

Of course, graduations aren’t the only things looming over my head. There’s the regular busyness of this household, personal items to take care of and some Mommy of Many items to look forward to and work hard at. Um…have they perfected cloning yet?

Alright, enough of this venting! Back to the morning busyness and getting these kiddos up and going for the day.

With a big breath and a glass of water, I turn on the music and go back to Doing the Dance of the Children~

A few years back, the decision was made that it was best that the food cabinets in the kitchen have the ability to be locked. Too many times I would walk into the kitchen to find various containers of dry items, spilled on the floor or that toddlers had helped themselves to the contents of the chocolate chip container. So, magnetic child locks were purchased and installed. The “key” to the locks was strategically placed where we could easily get to it.

Easy solution to the problem of the scavenging toddlers…right? Sure!…as long as the “key” never gets misplaced or ends up on the INSIDE of the cabinet before it gets shut. Honestly, we’ve probably gone through a dozen “keys” and jimmied the cabinet open with butter knives and many mumbled curse words.

For the last few months we’ve just left the cabinets in the unlocked mode and trusted that at 5 and nearly 4, the littlest of the Langs have learned what they are allowed and not allowed to get into. I’m not sure what happened, but yesterday afternoon I came home to find that the cabinet that holds all cereal and snacks had been locked. I reached for the “key”. Hmmm…not there. I moved a few things for a better look. Nope, not there. I went to the junk drawer. Nope! I looked in jars and bowls, drawers and under the fridge. No luck. Maddi bent a butter knife and started the process of trying to break in. No luck. So, we left it alone and decided there wasn’t anything we needed from the cupboard for the evening.

This morning I went out to the kitchen, and went to open it, only to be reminded that tot locks are also adept at keeping adults out of things. Back to the butter knife. Back to the rummaging for the “key”. My best solution is going to be a trip to Target to purchase another “key”. However, the peanut butter, crackers, nuts, snack mix and cereal are all locked inside that cupboard. At this point it looks like school lunches are going to consist of bread with butter, canned fruit and water.

Wish me luck on handing those lunch boxes over with a smile.

I suppose I could always play the “Lent” card. “Hey, it’s Holy Week and we’re fasting. Offer it up.”

Have a great day~

We’ll start with the birth certificate-

8 months ago, Mariah completed all the parts of the online testing to be able to get her permit. Then it came time to get out her birth cert and send everything in. I couldn’t find it. Looked and looked and came to the conclusion that I had to order a replacement. I got online, filled everything out, paid the fee, printed out the paper that needed to be notarized and faxed it all in. Whew! Now to wait for the magic document to arrive in the mail. About a week later we received an official looking envelope and she was excitedly planning our trip to the DMV. When we opened it, there was a paper stating that there was no record of her birth in the county I’d sent the request to. Huh? Then where the heck was she born? Instead of making me move quickly to figure it out, the whole thing made me drag my feet and wonder what county she could’ve been born in.

Fast forward 7 months-I finally had the county correct and sat back down at the computer to do the whole thing again. I repeated all the steps, paid the fee and printed the paper that needed to be notarized. When I got to the postal annex that has a notary, there was a hand-written sign on the door declaring that they were closed for the day. GREAT! I put the paper back into my planner and drove away.

NOW HIRING

About 2 weeks ago I had Gabi and Luke-Xavier with me on a trip to the bank. After our transactions, we left and I decided to treat them to Cold Stone since it was practically staring me in the face. We got our ice cream and I noticed that they were hiring. I asked for an application for Mariah. She’s been wanting to start applying places for after-school and summertime jobs. They gave me the application and I texted Mariah that I was on my way home with a job prospect for her. She wasted NO time and filled out an application online. She then filled out the one I brought her, turned it in and scheduled an interview. She was hired and would begin her training in 3 days.

“Mom, I start work on Thursday and I need either my birth certificate (after saying this, she snickered) or my SS card.” I replied that I would start looking in the files for her SS card. After all, the whole birth certificate thing had become such an elephant in our house, that I knew I better just go for the card.

Thursday morning rolled around and I realized (with some horror) that my inability to find her SS card could keep my daughter from starting the job she was quickly and somewhat proudly hired for. PRESSURE! I left for work knowing that I had a small window of time after work, to get home, find the card and then move on with the regular busyness of the afternoon. YIKES! I spent my time at work uttering small prayers to St. Anthony and brainstorming on where those important documents have ended up being kept.

I got home and went straight to the filing cabinet. “Taxes”-nope, wouldn’t be in there. “Schooling”-no, keep looking. “Important”-Maybe!…nope. Who labeled THAT one?! I went to another drawer, only to find that it was all military stuff-nope! Finally, the bottom drawer. This one had files laying on their sides and none were really labeled. I started digging through each one to see if I could find the magic envelope that held 11 SS cards. “Mariah”-well, it couldn’t hurt to look in that one! I opened it up and the very first thing inside was an envelope with my handwriting on it, saying, “Mariah’s Birth Certificate”. Well wonder of wonders! What the heck! All along, lying in the filing cabinet! Forget the SS card! I’d just struck gold!

So, Mariah was able to make it to work with the proper documentation and now we will make an appointment at the DMV…finally!

The best part was that when I picked her up from that first day of work, she got in the car smelling like warm waffle cones. I wanted to keep her in the car all night! Yum!

Hmmmm…now to find those SS cards.

Have a great day~

I’m just back from the unhappy experience of being at the dentist. Now, don’t get me wrong-I’m very happy to be ABLE to go to the dentist. I know that I need to be grateful for dental coverage. But the appointment and the reason behind it were NOT happy events.

So, let’s go back about 3 years and I’ll tell my tale…

Chapter 1

Pain! Lots of pain while chewing and drinking. Hot-ouch! Cold-ouch! Something must be wrong. I think I’ll ignore it. After-all, I DO have 2 sides to my mouth and only 1 of them is painful. Solution-simply use the other side…only! This chapter lasted about a year.

Chapter 2

Pain! Too much pain! It’s time to call the dentist. I’ve been avoiding one side of my mouth for about a year and there really must be something that should be done. Right? So, I made the dreaded phone call (mind you, I take the kids to the dentist regularly. But for myself, there always seems to be a good excuse.) and scheduled an appointment. At the appointment I was severely scolded for having waited so long and informed that I was in need of a root canal.

~DREAD~

The procedure was scheduled and carried out. It was a 2 appointment procedure. I was told that all went well. ~sigh of relief~

Now…let’s forget about my stupid teeth and get on with life! And THAT is JUST what I did.

Chapter 3

Pain!

Why oh why is there pain in the area of the tooth that had the root canal?! I MUST have something stuck. Better floss EXTRA well…again and again and again.  And that is just what I did.

Over the next 4 months I would have that thought from time to time. I’d floss, brush, rinse and then forget about it until it bugged me again. 2 weeks ago my tooth decided to talk to me and tell me it was no longer going to allow me to ignore it. I spoke gently to it saying, “be well little tooth. You have had a root canal and are fine. You may look different from my other teeth, but you’re going to be ok. I will give you a break and I’ll (once again) chew on the other side of my mouth. Will that make you happy?” Little tooth quieted down and enjoyed the rest. But 4 days ago it yelled at me saying, “STOP ignoring me and patronizing me! I don’t want rest. I want attention!” Then the gum around the tooth started to swell. After 1 day of swelling and pain I called the dentist (on a Sunday). I explained everything and was put on antibiotics until I could come in for an appointment.

Appointment time! So…the dentist greeted me and got right to work. “Oh. Oh my. Let’s get an x-ray of this. My my…Oh Mrs. Lang, this is not good. Let me show you”.

My tooth has broken…in half and must be removed! Apparently that root canal was to be followed by a crown. This was an appointment I never made and frankly, forgot about. Now, here I am 2 years later facing oral surgery and the removal of a tooth that can not be saved. I’m more than a little freaked out!

Chapter 4 to come soon. I must stay on the antibiotics until the surgery, so you can bet it will be in a week or so.

*grumbling* Have a great day~