Category — funny

Wow, I sure didn’t mean to let so many days go by without blogging. But it seems that I don’t mean all sorts of things in the last few days…

The other night we were having a family dinner with my dad, brother and my kiddos. There was much chit chat and sharing of school stories, etc. At one point Lex held up all his fingers, just like in the above picture, and he said, “Mom, when am I going to be this many?”.

Well, let’s see…Lex is 3, so with simple math…

I answered right away, “in 11 years”

And I wonder why some of my kids struggle with math.

Have a great day~

“Mom, steak is my favorite chicken”

Two nights ago I made steaks. When I was getting Gabi ready for bed and brushing her teeth she let me know just  how she felt about  that.

Have a great day~

A couple of days ago I asked my boys what they were thinking about giving up or doing for Lent.

Tristan told me he was going to “try” to spend less time on the computer (I asked him what that meant, but his answer leads me to believe we have some talking to do).

Max, on the other hand, knew EXACTLY what he planned on doing…

Me-”Max, what are you giving up or doing for Lent?”
Max-”I’m going to practice almsgiving”
Me-*trying not to laugh too hard* “almsgiving? But you don’t make any money”.
Max-”I find a quarter…sometimes a dime…”

I had to walk away so that he didn’t see me laughing. This kid! Priceless!

Have a good night~

Oh this kid! He is such a sweet lil charmer! We all adore him and his magnetic smile. But as the end of the line in a large family, this lil kiddo can surely pack a punch.

Tonight, he got angry at his 7 yr old brother and took the opportunity to kick him while he was on the floor. When I stood him in time out he started crying and said, “Don’t you know I’m allergic to time-outs?”

I have my work cut out for me!

Have a good night~

Over the last week there’s been an outbreak of lice in my children’s school. Two of my kids have had children in their classrooms with confirmed cases. The thought of lice always makes me crazy because of the magnitude of what it means in my house.

Over my 20 years of motherhood, I’ve had to delouse my children and house on 2 occasions. The many hours of hair treatments, bagging up stuffed animals, washing laundry for days on end (which is ALREADY the norm here, so now imagine the added laundry that comes with lice!) made me HATE lice with a passion and work hard to prevent it by hammering into my kids heads that they absolutely CAN NOT share hair items or scarves etc. It’s been about 6 years since we’ve had to deal with it, so I guess my rules have worked.

However, now that I’m also in the environment with the kids, I’m getting panicky. After much thought and checking the kids’ heads several times, my new advice is this;

Play only with hairless, naked children!

Have a great day~

Two weeks FLEW BY!

Now, it’s back to the 4 am wake-up and Doing the Dance to get everyone, everywhere they need to be. There are still a few remnants of vacation left. Clay, Kateri and JJ are all still home. Clay leaves tomorrow and Kateri and JJ follow this weekend. So, I suppose it’ll be next Monday when the actual routine is back. But, the decorations are packed. The new toys and clothes are put away and the holiday foods are now taboo.

It was a good break, filled with family and friends.

I’ll wrap up the holiday season with this little tidbit from Gabi-

While I was packing up the nativity scene, Gabi pointed to the angel and asked-”What kind of angel is that?”
I said-”I’m not sure. Maybe it’s a guardian angel.”
Gabi looked at me and scrunched up her face like I had just said the most ridiculous thing and said-”Why would that be a guardian angel?! Baby Jesus has the power to guard himself!”.

And there you go!

Have a great day~

Every morning I get up, go to the kitchen and start my coffee maker. I’m in such a routine that I normally don’t even think about it, but some mornings I guess I should. I thought it might be helpful to myself and perhaps others to post the instructions for brewing coffee…just in case.

Take one coffee filter and add coffee grounds

Place the filter (with the grounds in it) into the brewing basket

Fill coffee carafe with water to desired level

Pour the water into the water chamber

Place carafe onto the heating portion of the coffee maker

Push the on/off button

Fool proof instructions!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2 methods that DON’T work for brewing coffee with a KitchenAid coffee maker;

1.Take a coffee filter and scoop coffee grounds into it.
Place the filled coffee filter into the brewing basket
Press the on/off button
Wait for 1/2 hr, wondering why the heck no coffee is actually being made

2. Take one coffee filter, scoop coffee grounds into it
Place filled coffee filter into brewing basket
Fill carafe with desired amount of water
Pour the water into the proper place on the coffee maker
Forget to press the on/off button
Wait 1/2 hr wondering why the heck no coffee is being brewed.

This morning I chose method #2. From now on, I’m hoping to refer to my own directions on proper brewing and to be able to enjoy my coffee 1/2 hr earlier.

Have a great day~

This conversation took place in the car the other day;

Lex-Mom, I know how to make Jesus better

Me-How to make Jesus better?

Lex-Yes, we can give him medicine and a vitamin and fizzy juice (what my little kiddos call Airborne) and then he’ll be all better.

Me-Those all sound like really good ways to make someone better, but what’s wrong with Jesus that you think we need to make him better?

Lex-He died…remember?!

Have a great day~

This morning I started with a few chores. My plan was to head into the kitchen, start the coffee, pack the lunches, switch the laundry and then wake the kids. I went to the dryer first. I pulled everything out, put it on the counter and started to fold it. Then a lil voice in my head said, “hey Jen, you know, the dryer could be going while you fold the clothes”. I said, “hey lil voice, you’re right!”. So I stopped folding and started to put the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer. Then the lil voice piped up again and said, “hey Jen, you know, the coffee could be brewing while the clothes are drying, while you fold the clean pile”. I stopped putting the wet clothes into the dryer and said to lil voice, “hmmm…you’re right! Why am I so backward today?!” So I left the wet clothes and the clean pile and went to make the coffee. Now the coffee is brewed and in hand, the dryer is going and so is the washer and the clean clothes are folded and stacked.

Thanks lil voice!

Have a great day~

Yesterday the kiddos had their Halloween carnival at school. The school always does a nice job of putting on a little carnival for the kids. They get more excited about dressing up for that than they do for actually trick-or-treating. Honestly, I wish we could get them all done-up for the carnival, enjoy the day and then call it quits. But today, after soccer, after volleyball, after grocery shopping, after carving pumpkins and after getting dinner into the oven, we will put everyone’s costumes back on them and send them out into the neighborhood to trick-or-treat for candy that I will ultimately confiscate and have disappear. Then, tomorrow, we will throw away the pumpkins we spent time on today and start getting ready for Thanksgiving. I think I’m letting my true Halloween feelings show…oops!

But yesterday was lots of fun and I do love to see the kiddos all dressed up and having fun. After the carnival, we had a birthday party to go to, which made for really tired kiddos. But there was something in the air yesterday, because even though I was super busy and pretty darn tired, I felt really good. Sometimes the San Diego air has a magical quality to it that makes me feel so good. Yesterday was one of those days.

My older girls went to a friend’s Halloween party last night and I had all the little ones in bed, so the house was quiet. But I kept hearing a funny thumping noise. After a few times, I went to investigate. I REALLY wish I had taken a picture because what I found was Pumpkin Head dog. My dog had put her head into one of the trick-or-treating jack-o-lanterns to check out the contents and the handle latched over her ears. She was thumping into the wall, unable to see. My immediate reaction was to get it off her head and THEN I thought about the camera. Poor thing! But it sure was funny! So tonight I will be sure to put all the jack-o-lanterns out of dog’s reach!

Happy Halloween! I hope it’s a great day~

Yesterday Tristan came to the van after school with a tooth in his hand. He was very excited, saying that the loose tooth he was working on had finally come out. Then he said, “Mom, don’t forget to call the Tooth Fairy”.

This sentence has become a staple in our house when one of the kids looses a tooth. Too many times M.O.M. has, indeed, forgotten to call. I make a mental note on the pad of paper in my head and often I find that I go to sleep with out checking the list! This has made for some interesting Tooth Fairy adventures.

There have been times when a sad child will come out of their room in the morning, holding a small baggy with their tooth in it,saying, “She forgot”. This is when I get to say, “No! She tried but she couldn’t find it. You must’ve had it in the wrong place under your pillow. Move it to the other side tonight and I’ll call her to let her know you still have it”.
OR…
A kiddo will come out saying, “I put my tooth under my pillow but it’s not there and the Tooth Fairy didn’t leave me any $”. This is when I feel lucky because I know that the tooth must’ve gotten pushed off the bed during the night and I can sneak in, put some $ under the pillow and then say, “Are you sure?! You better go check again”. I just have to make sure I find the tooth and get it out of there before it’s seen on the floor or under the bed.

Once I sent Clay on Tooth Fairy duty and he put WAY more money under the pillow than I EVER would. I leave .50-$1, unless there was something special about the tooth or the way it was lost. On this occasion he put loose change and bills under the pillow. The ecstatic child came running out in the morning declaring the amount of their Tooth Fairy loot. I had to explain that the Tooth Fairy must have tripped and spilled her bag or that amount would never have found it’s way under their pillow. I had to think fast so that the next time, this would not be expected!

The Tooth Fairy was called last night and when Tristan awakes, he’ll find his tooth gone and $1 in it’s place. But I have to admit that I DID fall asleep without making the call. Luckily, I get up early enough that I was able to remember and take care of it!

When I put out the word that I needed help remembering, people shared some great stories! Take a minute to share your Tooth Fairy story here. Not only are they great to read, they make me feel better about my Tooth Fairy shortcomings!

Have a great day~

All these years I’ve heard my share of funny things come out of my kiddos mouths. When making the decision to go to work with a group of 4 yr olds, I hadn’t thought of the funny things I was going to hear from other people’s kiddos.

I’m learning that even kids know that it’s Monday and they’re a little off their game when they come back into the classroom after the weekend. This morning it was a chore to get them on task. One little boy was particularly upset with me when I tried to get him to settle down with his worksheet.

Me-Come sit down and we’ll get started on your worksheet.
Boy-I don’t want to!
Me-This week we’re learning the letter ‘b’ and you can find all the buttons and circle them.
Boy-I DON’T WANT TO!
Me-You’ve got to do the worksheet so that you can go play.
Boy-You’re fired!

Have a great day~

It’s been a really long and frustrating afternoon/evening of cranky kids and soccer practices. I really got worked up into a mess of tense anticipation over what the next unfocused antic was going to be. I thought I was going to snap, so I packed up my chair, the snacks, the toys and all the other stuff I lug around all afternoon and changed my focus. I decided to watch Luke-Xavier run around. Honestly, being able to switch from the “organized” play of practice to the free-spirited energy of a 3 yr-old made me feel better.

We got home and it was time for baths and showers. Max headed to my shower but came out surprisingly fast. I ran through the check list;

Me-Did you wash your hair with shampoo?
Max-Yes
Me-Did you scrub your body with body wash and a scrubby?
Max-Yes
Me-Come here and let me look at your hair.
Me-Hmmm…It doesn’t look like you had any shampoo in here (6 yr-olds usually leave a little residue that needs help getting rinsed out. The total lack of bubbly residue made it difficult to believe that he had lathered and rinsed).
Max-To tell the truth, I couldn’t get to it.
Me-What about your body?
Max-No, didn’t do it.
Me-So really all you did was get wet?
Max-Yeah, but wasn’t it a good start?

~sigh~

I’m counting on being able to look back at these moments and smile. It’s what keeps me from snapping!

Good night~

At 4 yrs old Gabi is very interested in reading. She often takes books out and “reads” them out loud to us. Over the last few days she’s been carrying the Children’s Bible around and “reading” various stories to us. Tonight, after dinner, she brought it over to the table and started to “read” to us.

“…and many bad things were happening. So Jesus deployed to the world to save us all from sinners…”

She could not understand my laughter.

Good night~

A funny exchange with some of my kids;

Gabi-I want 7 more brothers and sisters

Lex-I want a baby

Gabi-Mama, when are you going to have another baby?  We want a baby.

Me-I’m not going to have any more babies. These are all the babies I’m going to have.

Gabi-We need a new mom who will have more babies

Me-Hmmm…..that’s interesting! You think it would be a good idea to get a new mom just so there would be more babies?

Gabi-Yes!

Me-Where are you going to get a new mom?

Mariah-GetaMom.com

Leave it to Mariah to have an answer for every problem!

Have a great day~