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mom – Mommy of Many®

Archive for the mom Category

Starting the Day with a Huge Dose of Mommy Guilt

September 4, 2013

Lex came into my room, and buried himself in my bed under pillow and blankets, clearly upset. I asked what was wrong and he told me about his dream, that I had dropped him off at daycare and there was a fire and the teacher didn’t care.

I rubbed his back and told him that I was sorry for his bad dream and that he never went to daycare, that I was with him every day that he was little and that when he went to preschool, that I went too and worked in the school.

He piped back, “You dropped me off at daycare at the Y and I hated it!”

Ugh! He did! I think I only made it through 2 whole workouts in all my times of trying to take him there. I told myself, over and over again, that he would get used to it and that it was just a matter of him not wanting to be there because he was so used to being with siblings and there, he was on his own because his siblings were in school. But nightmares, 4 years later?! Talk about starting the day with a huge helping of Mommy Guilt!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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The Dangers of Cleaning Day

August 10, 2013

Cleaning Day…the mere suggestion invokes whining, crying and fear in the eyes of my children. It’s a sure-fire way to ensure a day of fighting, anger, upset stomachs, dire thirst, sleepiness and sudden illness.

Today was deemed Cleaning Day at the House of M.O.M. Oh, the torture! Apparently I had not properly prepared them for the journey of strife they were about to embark on. But I pushed them forward anyway. Such horrendous tasks as; dusting, vacuuming, dishes, putting clothes away, making beds, dismanteling the dilapidated trampoline, sweeping, and wiping down the bathroom, were distributed as evenly as possible. But no matter the distribution, each task was deemed “unfair” by it’s doer.

Ultimately, horrors were endured through each task. Lex, found a stuffed toy, left over from his older siblings, that will surely envoke nightmares. Po, the Teletubbie isn’t safe for children to view. Teeth…TEETH were found on the floor! A sure sign of the life lost from previous, unknown children who were told to clean! And worst of all, Lex came to me with a bloody nose. He came running and screaming Max’s name. Of course, I took this to mean that Max had, unjustly, put his hands on Lex and injured him. I sent Max to his room and brought a wet cloth to Lex, who then said, “It’s my fault. When I was trying to tie his legs together…” Guess who’s got an extra chore!

Somehow, I will continue to push them through the day. Counseling my be needed, but the house will be cleaner. And someday, when they no longer live under my roof, they can leave their home unclean and untidy and share the story of this horrible day, from atop a pile of filth and forgotten items, while a film crew from Hoardering, Buried Alive,  works their way through the cluttered and unlivable rooms. Or perhaps, just maybe, they will learn something and take it into adulthood and I will have done my job.

Cleaning Day…a dangerous undertaking indeed!

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Well That Explains It!

August 8, 2013

Yesterday I had one of those terribly emberrassing Mommy Moments, where you have a child who’s acting out so badly and you just can’t get them to stop. This usually happens with an overtired toddler, but this was my 7 yr old! We got home and I put him straight to bed. He ended up sleeping for over 4 hours and I figured that being tired was the reason for his meltdown.

Then I got home from work today and found him lying in my bed, watching a movie on the laptop and hot with a fever. Ah ha!

How many times have we, as parents, been able to look back and better understand why our child had an issue…any issue? I’m out of the practice of dealing with toddlers, so his behavior didn’t make any sense to me. But it sure does today!

Doing the Dance of the Children and revisiting old lessons~

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Oh Really? NOW You Let Me Know You’re Listening?!

August 6, 2013

I’m always wondering if the kids hear ANYTHING that I say, EVER. It sure doesn’t seem like it, since I’ve repeated the exact same instructions, every day for over 24 years.

The other day I got home from a long day of work, to run errands with the kids and take them to the gym and pool. By the time we reached the gym, I’d had it with their arguing and fighting. As they were complaining about the swimming, rock climbing and Kid’s Place activities they were going to HAVE TO endure, I yelled, “Stop fighting! Stop complaining about everything! I hate coming home from work and being made to YELL! I don’t WANT TO YELL!”

Max piped in with, “Mom, I’m just going to tell you what you always tell us; you’re in charge of your actions. No one can MAKE you get mad or yell.”

Yeah, thanks Buddy. So glad you’re letting me know you listen.

There’s hope. They really DO hear me and they let me know, just when it’s time to eat crow.

Doing the Dance of the Children and choosing not to YELL~

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That’s Right…Motherhood Really IS F.O.S!

May 15, 2013

Back in 2008 I finally came out and said what I had thought, for almost 20 years of parenting…Motherhood is Full of Shit. Truly! We are continually dealing with the clean up of bathroom issues by our little bundles of joy. You can read the original blog here.

Tonight, I was reminded and wrote the following Facebook post;

I have long said that Motherhood is full of shit.

Yes, it’s predominately the first 2-3 yrs of diapers, diaper explosions and toddlers who like to remove diapers. But it doesn’t end there. No! There are clogged toilets by overzealous wipers. There are overly excited kids who are too deep in play and don’t make it all the way to the bathroom. There are the over-confident bouts of gas etc. I will spare you the current details. But I am confident that I am not alone in my saying….

Yes, Motherhood is surely F.O.S!

Doing the Dance of the Children with rubber gloves on~

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M.O.M. Moments

May 8, 2013

On the way to work, this morning, I got a phone call. On the other end was one of my kiddos.
They said, “Mom, I forgot something.”
I asked, “What did you forget?”
Kiddo-”I forgot something at home.”
I replied, “Ok. What did you forget?”
Kiddo (whispering into the phone)-”I forgot my underwear.”

Thank you to beautiful people who are willing to go into my house, rummage through my dryer, find the underwear, text me a pic to make sure it’s the CORRECT underwear and then deliver it to the school in a bag, under the guise of it being “lunch”.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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M.O.M.’s Morning Madness or How I Stay Sane~

April 24, 2013

It’s 7:30am and the kids just rode off to school on their bikes. They are dressed, fed, hair-fixed, teeth-brushed, backpacks-packed, school-ready kids. It didn’t happen without a morning filled with Mommy Madness.

I sent Max to bed last night, to get recharged and with the hope that he’d wake up and have a new perspective on his homework. It’s a technique that’s worked in the past. Today it was an utter failure. We sat for nearly 2 hours and got about 7 problems done. This is not because he is incapable of the work and it’s not because he doesn’t understand the work. It’s because he simply decided he wasn’t going to do it. Once he makes that decision, all bets are off! This is the same child that, as a 1st grader, hid MONTHS worth of homework under his bed. ~Sigh~

The best tactic I’ve found to keep my sanity when dealing with difficult children, is madness, goofiness, humor. A silly song about the situation goes a long way to break tension for all involved. I can choose to scold, berate or punish or I can Do a Dance or make up a rhyme. The number of times my kids have heard ridiculous songs can’t be counted.

Once my other children saw that Max was being difficult, it was like a Difficult Free-for-All. “My shoes are too tight”. “I don’t like this food”. “I’m freezing”. “I’m sick”. Name it, I heard it. I broke into song about peanut butter bread;

A little bread
A little spread
Gives us all a very good head

Hey, I have to make the point for the importance of breakfast, somehow!

Next it was scolding shoes that were too tight;

Bad shoes!
Bad shoes!
Why must you be bad shoes?!

I’m sitting here, knowing I need to start my work day and feeling absolutely drained from the last few hours of Doing the Dance! Perhaps a song will help motivate me;

Put on your shoes
Put on your pants
Put on your makeup and get on with The Dance!

I think Paulo Coelho said it best;

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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Holy Thursday Reflections

March 29, 2013

Just finished hanging up and folding clothes with a lil help from Rod Stewart, of course. I have WAY more clothes when I actually get them onto hangers!

Gabi and Tristan came to spend the night. Max and Lex visited for a little while and I made a simple pasta dinner (spinach, red pepper and grape tomatoes in garlic, olive oil and white wine, with a white sauce, over bow tie pasta).

I picked up my book-Journey Through the Great Fast-and realized that I’ve missed quite a bit of reading lately. But reading the meditations for Holy Thursday and looking ahead to Good Friday, put me in a reflective space. It will be weird to be working on Good Friday. I honestly can’t remember the last time I wasn’t able to shut down with the kids and pray and reflect on that day. Tristan has asked to stay here, alone, tomorrow to have quiet time, pray and watch The Passion of Christ. I’m grateful that the seeds of faith our growing in him and that he recognizes, on his own, that the day should be solomn. I think I’ll take my lunch at noon tomorrow and go for a walk with my rosary.

I just realized that some of you might not know that I’ve started a new job! February 19th I started as the Marketing Coordinator at a local marketing firm, Tytanium Ideas and am working full-time (and then some). It’s been a really good transition for me and the kids and I are adjusting to our new schedule. I’m REALLY proud of them for helping me make this happen.

Ok, enough for now. I need to get to sleep!

Doing the Dance of the Children and of Lent~

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A Lullabye for My Kiddos Who are Away

March 6, 2013

It’s been a really long and full day. Part of the fullness is how much I’m feeling filled up with love for my kiddos who are far away. Clayton called this evening, to talk to me and the little kiddos and he gave us all a finish to our day that was full of love and the memories of the few months he was with us, last year. We all felt how much we miss the members of our family who are far off.

So I’m ending today’s Dance with a lullabye that I’ve sung to each of my kiddos and that my mom sang to me.

Good night, sweet dreams and much love; Kateri, JJ (Clayton), Mariah and Maddi. I love you~

I see the moon and the moon sees me
And the moon sees the one that I long to see.
So God bless the moon and God bless me
And God bless the one that I long to see.
It seems to me that God above
Created you for me to love.
He picked you out of all the rest
Because he knew I loved you the best.
I once had a heart called mine you see,
But now it’s gone to you from me.
So take good care as I have done
For you have two and I have none.
I see the moon and the moon sees me
And the moon sees the one that Iong to see.
So God bless the moon and God bless me
And God bless the one that I long to see

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He’s Breathing Too Loud!

March 5, 2013

Here’s the scenario;

One kid is doing something harmless, but that another kid finds annoying. So the annoyed kid tells the first kid to “stop___”. Kid one wasn’t doing anything wrong, but now does whatever the action was (and sometimes, it’s simply breathing “too loud”) extra, EXTRA annoyingly.

I am then caught between the kid who was needlessly annoyed and the kid who is now purposely being annoying. And let me tell you, it’s AMAZING how loudly a kid can breathe when they know it will further annoy a sibling.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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Learning How to Support Positive Body Image in my Boys

March 4, 2013

When I was growing up, I was surrounded by sisters. I’m the oldest of 9 kids and 8 of us are girls. My parents got their boy at the end. So, most of what I knew about kids when I became a parent involved what girls thought, felt and dreamed. As I began having my own kids, I was blessed to get a, nearly even split of boys and girls. And suddenly, most of my girls are out of the house and I find myself raising 3 boys. I’m still fumbling through getting a grasp on what might be going through their heads at any given moment.

The other day, Lex called me into the bathroom for some assistance and I found him sitting on the pot. He looked at me and then pointed to his thighs and said, “if I’m so skinny, why are my legs so fat?”. Fat?! There isn’t anything fat about this kiddo! I knew I had only that moment to help him see his legs differently. I explained that when we sit down our legs spread out a little and that what he was seeing where the strong muscles in his legs that help him run so fast and ride his bike so well and that because he does those things, his muscles get bigger and stronger and help him get even further.

He was suddenly proud of his legs! He told me how long he can jump on the trampoline and how fast he can ride his bike.

In that short interaction, I realized that boys struggle with body image, just as girls do. Yes, I’ve read articles about eating disorders occurring in both boys and girls and depression occurring in both genders. Of course, I know that boys aren’t  just pillars of confidence, roaming the earth. But I didn’t know that my, very fit and healthy 6 year old son, would be scrutinizing himself! I’m grateful he vocalized his wonder and that I was able to help him form a positive opinion of himself.

Lesson Learned!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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My Shoes are FINE!

February 7, 2013

These are Max’s old shoes. He was wearing them until 3 days ago, when I got a good, solid look at the bottoms. I drug him into the store to try on new ones while he boldly and loudly protested that his shoes were FINE.

“FINE…My SHOES ARE FINE! I like them like that. It’s not even raining so it doesn’t even matter! They are comfortable. I don’t NEED new shoes!”

We picked out the 2 pair that would be possibilities for him and chose one of the pair. But the next morning, he was back on the kick that the new ones weren’t right, the old one’s were perfect and I needed to just pleaese, PLEASE, P-L-E-A-S-E let him wear the old ones. I didn’t give in. He’s successfully worn the new pair for the last 2 days. However, if you see one of my kids wearing shoes with nothing left to them, keep in mind it’s not because I’m denying them proper footwear.


Doing the Dance of the Children~

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Hey! I’m Kinda Feelin’ Jipped!

January 31, 2013

I’ve recently “liked” a couple of pregnancy and birth pages and they’re fantastic! I love all the amazing pics of women giving birth in the way and environment of their choice. They have photographers capturing all the wonder of the event and husbands/partners/co-parenting significant others (making terms up for things I don’t know the label for) are joining in, being super supportive and experiencing as much of the baby’s birth as possible. Then there are the breastfeeding pics and posts. All beautiful. There are many strong, amazing women out there that are making the decision to be fully present in the experience of becoming a mother, no matter the # baby it is.

Only one problem…

All this amazingness is making me feel like I never experienced giving birth or breastfeeding. There were no photographers, no uber supportive/rubbing my back/getting into a tub of water with me, husband-no tub of water for that matter. No home birth and heck, for my last birth, my biggest supporter was my 12 yr old daughter, who was great, but did her best to make sure she stayed near my head the entire time.

I breastfed while toddlers climbed on me, while I pushed a stroller with 2 or more other children in it, while I grocery shopped, while I made dinner, while I did mundane and needed household chores, while I was 1/2 or entirely asleep and there was no one documenting it and putting a lovely lens to the whole thing to show how beautifully natural, loving, life-giving and super fantastic it was.

I never had a belly cast made. Never took belly pics in my bathroom or bedroom mirrors (there were no “smart phones” with cameras) and never, once, had professional pics taken with the glowing and gushing father of all these kiddos. What the heck?!

How is it that I had 9 kiddos and am now feeling like all the new moms out there are sticking it to all of us Old Geezers who finished having babies too soon to be truly amazing? I don’t like it!

I’ll go thumb through the endless baby books, photo albums and scrapbooks that I put together on paper filled with lignin that’s slowly eating away at the only precious images I have that prove that in my day, we were as amazing as we felt we could be and it was pretty ok.

Seriously though-Here’s to you, Moms of the Next Era! You’re making me wish I could do it one more time.

Mommy of Many

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Happy New Year! A Recap on 2012 and the Beginning of 2013-Part 1

January 15, 2013

Happy New Year!

I know we’ve all been hearing the crickets over here. There was so much to do with having all my kids home for Christmas that I just wanted to be present in it and not worry about sitting down to write about it. Unfortunately that carried over a little longer than I had planned.

I’m going to do this update in 2 parts or else it will never get done. So…here’s part one of what the Lang Kiddos and M.O.M. were up to in 2012;

2012-What a year! We got a little more settled into our new life. There were plenty of struggles but there was also some really Good Stuff.

Jen-I began working in marketing. Marketing! It all fell together very quickly and I began writing for various clients and events. I’m now one year into it all and I really enjoy it! I’m hoping that 2013 brings me more work!

Me, with other ladies of Social Media at a concert we helped to promote.

Kateri-In May, Kateri graduated from the Franciscan University of Steubenville with degrees in Theology and Humanities. She then went on to become the personal assistant to one of the college’s professors, Dr. Scott Hahn. She also became the University’s assistant diving coach. As of yesterday, she began Grad School. She was able to come out for Christmas and brought her newest love, her puppy, Layla.

Clayton-After 5 years of him being away for school and travel, he came home for a few months to work and then move onto the next phase of life. It was such a joy to have him here! He did a fantastic job of helping with the little kids, keeping them active and showing them new ways to use their imaginations. He did a juggling demonstration for Lex’s class during Lex’s special week at school. He found work on a rice farm and came home tired and muddy after each day’s work. He has since moved on to Ohio and is back in school.

Mariah-She is in her Sophomore year at Bryant University. She has an internship with a company in Sacramento during her summer and Christmas breaks. She’s learning all the different aspects of the company and is doing a fantastic job! She has also been helpful in writing a business model for a coffee shop that a friend of mine wants to open. She is her sororities philanthropist chairperson and put on a fantastic event supporting our troops. Mariah has a bright future ahead and is on the path to making it all happen!

Arianna-She spent the year focusing on sports. She’s in her Junior year of high school and has played tennis, soccer and softball. She’s well-rounded in the world of sports! She’s my “big” kid at home, these days and she would LOVE to get her license in the near future. Earlier this year, she and Gabi did an Adventure Run together as a team and had a great time!

Ok, the news of Maddi through Lex will be on it’s way SOON!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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Oh no! They want an Elf!

December 7, 2012

Elf on the Shelf- we’ve all heard of them and are probably seeing daily pics of our friends’ elves’ naughty, nighttime activities. All this fun and time-consuming effort is in the name of keeping the Spirit of Christmas alive for our children.

I hadn’t even considered getting an elf, until last night. I was talking to the kids and my sister about various Elf activities I’ve been seeing pics of and my kids were really intrigued. Then I pulled up Google pics of different Elf-doings and Max and Lex were both amused and shocked; “That Elf wrote on that baby’s HEAD!”, “HAAAAAA! The Lego guys tied him up!”. They went to bed in agreement that Elf on the Shelf was best kept in other people’s houses. As Max put it, “That is one creepy little thing!”. I was relieved that I was off the hook.

Then this morning, Max got out of bed and immediatley started talking about what the Pro’s of having an Elf might be; “The kids would behave better”, “He might make us cookies while we’re sleeping”…Uh oh! I explained that an Elf loses his special magic if a child touches him and that once you adopt an Elf, you’re pretty much stuck. At first Max talked about how to keep our would-be Elf in-line, then he simply said, “If we get a naughty Elf, I’ll rip him to shreds and we’ll be done with him”. I told him that probably wouldn’t be necessary, and suggested that if we WERE to get an Elf and if he WERE to be naughty, then I could just let the kids touch him and he’d lose his magic. Lex pointed out what a bad idea that was because then he might not be magical anymore, but he’d still be stuck in our house and would surely cause even MORE trouble then. Quick thinking kiddo! I guess we’ll have to look into what the actual powers of an Elf on the Shelf really are. Are his powers simple to get to Santa or without his powers does he completely stop coming alive. This is a lot of head work and we haven’t even gotten one yet!

So now I’m at a crossroads-jump on the Shelf or back away from the ledge?

Who’s Elfing? Is your Elf mischevious or simply a quiet messenger between your home and Santa?

Max had these final words of wisdom for me to ponder; “If we get an Elf, I’m going to want you to attach a camera to him so we can see where he flies to. But if you do that, we might find out you were just lying about the whole thing. Or, we might find out you were just trying to keep our imaginations alive”.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

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