Category — parenting

I don’t know who fed my kiddos naughty pills but the 3 youngest have been on fire the last few days. I guess it means that summer is over and they’re ready for the structure of school, but I’m not sure they’ll make it to next Tuesday at this rate. By 9am they had each stood in the corner and by 2pm I was so done that I put the 7yr old, 5yr old and 4yr old down for naps, closed and locked my bedroom door and told my 11yr old that I was NOT TO BE DISTURBED until I came out. I tell ya, I was ready to hunt scalps!

Whew!

If this keeps up I just may disappear for the long weekend and leave them in the care of their father. That’ll teach ‘em!

But now the house is quiet. The older girls are doing their “big kid” stuff for the evening and the lils are all in bed. I’ve had a glass o’ vino and am ready to get some of my own things done. I think I’ll make it till tomorrow. But watch out all you naughty lil kiddos! M.O.M’s patience is wearing thin!

Doing the Dance of the Children and I’m on the look out for the Naughty Ones~

And that’s exactly what we did between 1 and 8am this morning.

JJ’s been in France since the beginning of August and was supposed to get to Portugal for a visit with my sister. But after she had been at the airport for a couple of hours and couldn’t find him and had no way of contacting him, she called here. Oh the ideas we came up with! There were literally hours of coming up with ideas for trying to get in touch with him or finding out if he got on his flight. Finally, at 8 am he showed up on Facebook! Yep! Thank goodness for social networking!

I don’t have the entire story, but he showed up (unknowingly) to the airport a day late for his flight and somehow made his way to an elderly couple who are familiar with boys from Saint Gregory’s Academy, spent an evening with them and then, somehow ended up with a classmate who lives in Paris. Small world?! He was finally able to get onto his computer (again, not sure of the details and timelines) and my sister had left him messages on Facebook and he IM’d her there.

He is safe, has had a remarkably wonderful trip and will be heading to Portugal tomorrow.

Way to follow that ol’ Gypsy Wind!

Honestly, I was more worried about my sister and her nerves than for JJ’s safety. He has a tendency to wander, miss deadlines/flights/buses and, somehow always ends up landing on his feet, quite comfortably.

My lil World Wanderer is enjoying his trip and, hopefully, won’t disappear off the radar again!

Doing the Dance of the Children from a world away~

The only mistake I made was turning my back. I thought I’d covered my bases and set everyone up to be occupied while I tried to pack us up to enjoy an outting. How could I have been so silly?

Lex used his unsupervised time to “draw the way  the AppleTV so that everyone could watch Bugs Bunny”. Thanks for the clearly marked pathway. Geesh!

Many, many walls in several houses have been decorated by these 9 children of mine. Yet, I still wonder why they do it. Have I not provided enough drawing paper? Color books? Writing pads? The walls? Really?! Do they think I won’t notice? That they won’t get in trouble?

~sigh~

The mind of a child can be a mystery, no matter how many times you’ve walked the path.

Well, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and I have been good friends for a long time. I guess it’s time for a date. But guess who’s not going to find convenient parking at Balboa Park today.

Doing the Dance of the Children, with Plenty of Elbow Grease~

Remember last week, when I asked about anyone who had a child with a friend that blames your child for the bad behavior that the other child is actually responsible for? Well THIS week I ask you to share your experiences of YOUR child allowing their friend to take the blame for the bad behavior that your child is actually responsible for. And how was it handled when you found out?

Doing the Dance of the Children, one day at a time~

Over the last couple of days I’ve had 2 questions on my mind. I’m hoping to hear what your experiences have been (if any) with either or both of these-

1) has a child of yours ever had a friend who repeatedly blamed them for things they didn’t do?

2) Have you ever been at a playground (or in a shared playing experience) and had and unpleasant parent ruin the experience to the point that you felt that it was time to leave?

I can’t wait to hear how you’ve dealt with these things.

Doing the Dance of the Children and always looking for the best Dance steps~

Gabi asked to run errands and go to an appointment with me this morning. About 1/2 way through the appointment she started telling me she was hungry and thirsty. For the rest of the time that we were out, she must have told me about 20 times. I decided to direct her to put her discomfort to good use.

Me-”Gabi I know you’re hungry and thirsty, but we’re going to wait till we’re home to eat and drink, so I suggest you take a minute to offer it up to God for something or someone. You could say, ‘God, I’m hungry right now and I have to wait to eat, so I offer my hunger to You so that Arianna does well at volleyball.’ Or, ‘God, I’m really hungry right now and I don’t get to eat until we’re home, so I offer it up to You so that we have a safe and fun trip to see our friends and family, later this week.’ See, you can focus your discomfort on something else and we’ll be home soon and then we’ll eat.”

Gabi-”But I’m hungry NOW!”

~sigh~ I tried!

Doing the Dance of the Children and hoping they get it~

My girls love to cook. At least one of them is usually asking if she can plan and make dinner. This isn’t to say that my boys don’t like to get into the kitchen, they do. But the girls seem to always be planning something to bake or asking if they can create a meal. I chalk up their love of the kitchen to the fact that I’ve always been open to letting them help. Kids need to learn the basics of the kitchen to build confidence and know how to be safe while enjoying creating their meals and snacks. A few days ago I was peeling and cutting carrots to store for easy snacking and cooking and Gabi asked if she could help. I showed her how to hold the carrot and peeler and she ended up peeling all of the carrots while I did the cutting.

This morning when I asked the little kids what they wanted for breakfast, Gabi said, “squished up eggs”, meaning-scrambled eggs. She asked if she could help me and off we went to the kitchen. I told her she could crack the first egg. I figured if she got shell into the measuring cup, it would be easier to remove it if there was only 1 egg. She successfully cracked the first 2.

This egg exploded. I think she got nervous. We had to take a few moments to clean everything up. I was careful not to get upset or make the clean-up look difficult because those things would discourage her from trying in the future. Accidents happen. All of us have spilled at one point or another. Clean up and move on!

After the clean-up she was helpful with the mixing.

She was proud of her accomplishment and will be more likely to ask to help in the future, which means she’ll be learning valuable skills about how to be in the kitchen and be a “big girl”.

Don’t be afraid to allow your kids to help with household tasks. I know it can be easy to want to just do it for them and get it done quicker and without the mistakes that inevitably happen. But they can’t learn to be successful if they aren’t allowed to make mistakes. If we guide and encourage we will end up with successful kiddos!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Yesterday evening the rest of the family arrived back from their trip out to Nevada. I had gotten all the laundry done and some other household tasks completed, knowing that once they walked through the door, there would be a whole bunch of new work to be done. I was right.

The laundry’s been going since 4:30 this morning. There are plenty of bags to be unpacked. Gramma and Papa sent lots of snacks that needed to be put away.

The kids had a great trip! They haven’t visited with Clay’s family in a few years and it sounds like Gramma and Papa did it up right. These San Diego kiddos went for a hike and ate snow. SNOW! in July! Definitely not something you can do here.

So, it’s back to the full-time Dance of being M.O.M. It’s good to wake up to Gabi’s curly head in my bed again and to hear the constant hum that is the sound of the kids talking throughout the house.

But I will admit that the quiet was a really nice thing to have. I moved through the house, doing chores, with only my thoughts. A really nice thing to have every once in awhile.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

It’s been 2 weeks since JJ graduated from High School and only a few days afterward, he and his class, along with a few chaperones, got on a plane headed for Spain. Each person was outfitted with a new bike and a few essentials for the long road ahead of them. They are heading out for a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela.

This journey takes them through Spain and into France. I have to admit that, even though I’d heard about the trip for a whole year, I hadn’t given it much thought. Sure, I took him to the post office to get his passport and I sent money for the new bike, but I hadn’t looked into the route or researched the journey. I knew that the Senior classes before JJ’s had done this trip and that it was a wonderful experience.

Yesterday I finally sat down at the computer and typed “Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela” into my Google search box. I was fascinated with what I read and saw! An excerpt from the book,
Pilgrimage to the End of the World states-”A satellite image of the pilgrimage routes provides a little reality check to the bland abstractions of a traditional map. But even this isn’t enough to convey the toughness of the trail. The daunting mountain ranges of the Pyrenees and the Cantabrians speak clearly enough of the great challenges the pilgrim must overcome.” I’m in awe of these boys, on bikes and with little in their pockets, taking on this trek!

There’s been no word from the boys, so I’m going with the phrase, “No news is good news” and trusting that all is going well. I can’t wait for JJ’s return home so that we can hear all about this adventure, both spiritually and physically. I’m just more proud and pleased than I can convey that the boys are having this experience!

I truly hope that each of my children gets to embark on experiences like this one!

Doing the Dance of the Children and hoping to foster their dreams and nurture their souls~

This afternoon Luke-Xavier and I had some “mommy and me” time. We had to stop at the grocery store and after shopping I held his little hand and we walked across the parking lot. He spotted a mom, with a baby in a front-carrier, loading groceries into her car. Here is the conversation that followed-

Luke-Xavier-”That mommy has a baby. She’s carrying her funny.”
Me-”That’s how I used to carry my babies, in a front carrier. I carried a lot of babies that way.”
Luke-Xavier-”You carried me that way because I was your baby.”
Me-”That’s right.”
Luke-Xavier-”…and Tristan and Max and Gabi were all your babies.”
Me-”yep, all of you.”
Luke-Xavier-”But I was the leader of the babies. I cracked first. Then I looked inside and I saw Tristan, Max and Gabi.”
Me-”You ‘cracked first’?”
Luke-Xavier-”Yes, my egg cracked first, so I was the leader.”
Me-”I thought you were each in my tummy on your own and I didn’t know you were inside an egg.”
Luke-Xavier-”Yes, we were in eggs. God put them there.”
Me-”What about Kateri, JJ, Mariah, Anna and Maddi?”
Luke-Xavier-”They’re big kids. Big kids weren’t babies….were they?!”

Gotta love the way kids make sense of it all.

Doing the Dance of the Children, one cracked egg at a time~

My M.O.M. brain is overloaded with end-of-the-school-year obligations and projects and the prep that goes into 8th grade graduation…x2! I’ve written my list and I’m adding to it all the time. Little by little I’m getting things crossed off, which keeps me from freaking out about all that’s on that stinkin’ list.

One of the items that I’m having trouble with is pulling a funny M.O.M. story from out of the depths of my overworked brain. I know I’ve had plenty of laugh-worthy experiences and that I’ve blogged about the things that could only happen because I’m dragging a bunch o’ kiddos behind me somewhere. But if you think I could come up with even one such story…when I’m being asked for it…forget it!

This is where you come in. If you’ve followed the blog and can think of a story that made you chuckle or if you know me and my family and can jog my brain on a funny experience you’ve witnessed, could you share it with me? I’ve been asked to share one of my funny experiences of being a Mommy of Many™ for an interview and well…nothin’!

Alright then, while I have you all picking your brains for something I can share, I’m going to go back to the scanner, printer, photo albums and the memory boards. Anna and Maddi graduate next Friday and I need to pull out the creativity to make these boards something they’re going to be happy with and that represents each of them accurately.

I’ll be happy when this school year is over and I can catch my breath during summer. Though that thought is a bit silly because the minute summer starts, I have to start thinking about getting everyone set up for next year…~sigh~

Doing the Dance of the Children and hoping not to miss a step~

I was very proud of one of my kiddos this evening because I caught them getting ahead of the game, by putting all their clothes together for tomorrow.

Me-”good job!”
Kiddo-”yeah, I’m putting it all together before I even have to.”
Me-”I think it’s great that you’re getting organized.”
Kiddo-”I’m going to wear clean underwear tomorrow.”
Me-”huh?!”
Kiddo-”I don’t change it EVERY day.”
Me-”uh…you HAVE to wear clean underwear EVERY day. EVERY day!”
Kiddo-”Oh. Well sometimes I can’t find a clean pair when I’m putting my stuff together for the next day.”
Me-”Then that’s when you drag your laundry basket to the laundry room and say,’Mom, I need clean underwear for tomorrow.’”
Kiddo-”Oh. Ok. Sorry.”

Just another day of Doing the Dance of the Children~

The last few days have gotten away from me.

Now that Clay is back and my brother is here and there are more hands and drivers to get the kids where they need to be, I feel like I don’t have a good grasp on everything. When I’m the only one who has to make it all happen, I have it all mapped out and know exactly what has to happen for whom and when. But now it’s all a little cloudy because I don’t have to know all the details. It takes me awhile to adjust to not being the only one in control.

Secretly I’m a control freak- *shhhhhhh* -Imagine keeping it all together if I weren’t!

But I’m letting go of a few pieces of the puzzle and letting Clay and Ted take them over. Don’t worry, there’s still PLENTY for me to do. I just have to get it all clear in my head.

Whew! This ever-changing life…Doing the Dance of the Children~

Kids are a funny bunch!

This morning, on the way to church, the older kids were REALLY giving each other a hard time. The bickering and picking was almost unbearable. Then we got to church and everyone pulled it together and attended mass the way they each know how to. Then, back to the van we go and the bickering and picking started right back up! Sometimes its positively merciless!

Bickering…picking…name-calling, all the way from the church, to Starbucks, from Starbucks to the reception we were heading to. Then something magical happened…

We got to the reception and suddenly everyone had happy faces, kind words and helpful attitudes. WHAT?! Who were these kids who just moments before were mortal enemies?! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this phenomenon in action.

So many times, over the years, other parents have complimented my children’s behavior and I’ve had to wonder what children they must be talking about. I’ve met the sweetest, most polite children and complimented parents on their children’s behavior, only to have them say, “I’m so glad they behave outside of the house because inside, they are always testing the limits”.

I’m convinced that this is the mark of a truly good child-one who tests all the rules and limits inside their own home, with their own family, while remembering what their parents expect of them when they go outside their comfort zone. It stinks for the parents, but we should take comfort in knowing that our kids have listened, but still need to test the waters and feel safe and comfortable enough to do it within the walls of their homes and the safety of the family that they know is going to love them, even with challenging behavior.

So, all of us, who have been complimented on how amazingly wonderfully behaved our kids are, should pat ourselves on the back and not worry about the fact that those same kiddos are going to give us grey hair and sleepless nights. We’re doin’ it right!

Here’s to parenting…may we all make it through another day of Doing the Dance of the Children~

I wanted to take a minute to address some of the comments I’ve received about the on-going issue of undone school work and my kiddo who isn’t happy with school. I’ve had several thought-provoking responses and I think they deserve to be responded to.

In my 21 years of parenting I have approached schooling in many ways. I’ve had children in public schools and in the private school system.  There was also a time when we were frequently moving because of military orders and it made sense to take schooling into my own hands at some points during those moves. There have been issues with the way a child learns or how to best help them glean the knowledge that’s within all those text books and I chose to bring a child home for a year and 1/2 to try to find the holes in their learning, plug them and get the child back into the classroom setting. We’ve worked with tutors and learning centers along the way. In my journey through parenting and schooling I’ve had to face something head on-when choosing to homeschool, both the child AND the parent have to be considered. I have had to be honest enough with myself to face the fact that I am not a parent that is well-suited to homeschooling. I have neither the time nor the space to give it the solid attention that I desire and that it deserves. It’s been a bitter pill to swallow. I have had friends and acquaintances throughout all of my years of parenting who have done a very good, successful and solid job of schooling their children. I have had to realize that it is not for everyone and just because I have a child or a situation that isn’t particularly suited to the traditional classroom setting, doesn’t automatically mean that the answer is for me to become the child’s teacher. Believe me, I have tried this, been successful (enough) at it and still had to accept that it’s not for me.

Many kudos to those that have done and are taking on this immensely, important task in their children’s lives. I TRULY wish I could join you. But we must all face our strengths and weaknesses, be honest about them and then work from there.

Many of you have suggested that my child who is having such a tough time at school and within the structure of the classroom, be home schooled. You have suggested I look at all the people, throughout history who have contributed great things to our world and how they didn’t fit, well, into the traditional settings of school. Thank you. I do see this. I will have to weigh all my options while leaving homeschooling out of the equation.

As for my meeting with the teacher…it could have gone better. I understand that she is just as frustrated as I am with what we are seeing. However, I give her credit for seeing that this isn’t an issue of work that is too difficult-it’s not the curriculum, but an issue of learning to work within the structured environment. I know that some of you are of the opinion that it isn’t particularly necessary for my child (or any child) to HAVE to learn to do this. On this point, we disagree. I feel that it’s important because in all the stages of our lives and in all we must do to be successful, functioning parts of our society require us to learn to work within the perimeters of that structure. We get to choose our outlets, whether they be sports, music or art, where we are able to find the way in which we like to use our time and let our thoughts be free-flowing, but there is always going to be the job that we must go to and the way in which that job must be functioned. If a child doesn’t learn to work within a structured environment and under time constraints, I don’t see how they can fully function, successfully as an adult, in society.

Thank you for all your suggestions and thoughts. I will continue to try to find the best way to give my child the tools needed to become a happy and successful student and growing kiddo.

Onto this day and Doing the Dance of the Children~