Mommy of Many®

This morning, I was driving the kiddos to school and Max asked me this, thought-provoking, question;

“How do people just know what to say and what to do, without practicing or rehearsing?”

I asked what he meant and this was his example;

“Like when you’re at a big, fancy dinner and the guy in charge stands up and says, ‘Thank you for coming. Now eat!’ Then they all say ‘Thank you’ and start eating. How did they know to say ‘Thank you’? How do people know what to do and say?”.

Ah ha! This is what I told him;

It’s called learning Social Graces. As you go through life and you go to more events and meet more people, you learn what to say in each situation and then you’re able to take it with you to the next situation. It’s something you learn as you grow and get older because as you move through your life, you have more experiences and learn more things. These are the things that come with time and age. Don’t worry! You’ll learn them. We all do!”.

Then I drove the rest of the way to school and work, thinking of all the situations I’d been in over my lifetime that taught me just what to say or do in different situations and how many many times I fumbled it all and had to learn from feeling awkward and ungracious or ungraceful. Those lessons are tough ones, but we all learn them, piece by piece, situation by situation.

I love that my boy, who’s living with Aspergers, is noticing that there are certain things that people seem to just know and just do and that he wants to learn them, no doubt to help make being in social settings less anxious or even less confusing. I wish I’d understood that I was going to learn as I went and that I was OK not automatically knowing each of the proper things that need to be done in every social situation! I would have certainly had less anxiety and felt a little more at ease. I sure hope he does!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Hoping To Do it With Grace~

My 11 yr old has taken a sudden interest in the Bible. He’s been carrying a Bible around and reading it in all his free moments. The other morning he called me into the kitchen and asked who Noe is in the Bible.

Lex, my 4 year old, was standing near by and piped in before I could say much of anything. He looked at his brother and very firmly said, “It was Noah’s nickname. Noe-Noah!”.

Well there you have it!

Anyone have any questions needing to be answered? Never fear! Just send them over here and I’ll be sure to let Lex get right to the answer.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Loving the Window Into My 4 yr Old’s Mind~

“Mom, is Santa real?”, “Mommy, is there REALLY a Santa Claus?”, “Mom, what’s the truth about Santa Claus?”, “Mommy who was the REAL Santa?”, “Mom, was Santa a real man?”

All us mommies have heard these questions. I know I asked them when I was little and I was always given the story of the North Pole, Santa and his reindeer and all the elves etc. When I became a mom I made the decision that I would tell my kiddos the truth of Santa from the beginning. This morning Gabi (6yrs old) came into the kitchen and asked, “Mom what’s the real truth about Santa?”. And for the umpteenth time, I gave this answer;

Saint Nicholas was a REAL man that lived a long time ago. He was born into a family with a lot of money and when he got older he really, really did put gifts into shoes. He died a long time ago and is now in Heaven with Jesus and together they help us get presents on Christmas.

I’ve given this exact same explanation to each of my kiddos over the years. I’ve never changed it. I’ve never woven tales of toy shops or flying reindeer, but it hasn’t stopped my little ones from excitedly exclaiming that on Christmas Eve, they’ve spotted Santa and his sleigh’s lights flying overhead. What are you gonna do?! I don’t take away their excitement when they say these things, but when I’m asked, I give the same answer. Heck! Look it up! You can actually find the real history of St. Nicholas, so why not share it?!

I let them have their magical ideas but still give them the truth. So far it’s been well received and I’m happy to keep giving the answer.

And by-the-way, when I’m asked about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny I simply say, “isn’t it fun to believe in some things that seem impossible?”.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Trying to Keep it Real~

Today was the first time that there was something that kept me from getting to my 6am Kraze Boot Camp class. But even though I didn’t get to work out this morning, I still had healthy eating on my mind.

While I cooked dinner (potstickers, brown rice and edamame), I was eating some of the edamame and I suddenly had to think, “Uh…it’s 6pm. Can I eat edamame at 6pm? If I eat them with the rice, is this something good? I’ve always heard that soy and rice together make a complete protein. Is this true? They’re soy beans. Should I be eating them? And if so, is there a time of day I should or should not be eating them?”

Yep, all that went through my head.

So, tonight I’d like to ask;

Hey Aaron,

Tell me about edamame. Good? Bad? Particular time of day to eat them? What about the rice + soy = a complete protein equation?

I must say-no matter what I’m learning about how to eat, I’m sure putting plenty of thought into it!

Back to the regular morning work out routine tomorrow!

Over the last couple of days I’ve had 2 questions on my mind. I’m hoping to hear what your experiences have been (if any) with either or both of these-

1) has a child of yours ever had a friend who repeatedly blamed them for things they didn’t do?

2) Have you ever been at a playground (or in a shared playing experience) and had and unpleasant parent ruin the experience to the point that you felt that it was time to leave?

I can’t wait to hear how you’ve dealt with these things.

Doing the Dance of the Children and always looking for the best Dance steps~

Luke-Xavier was asking me about when I would die. I explained that we don’t know when anyone will die, but that we all, do in-fact, die. I told him it’s all part of the steps of our life-we’re born, we live and we die. He was concerned about being dead and never seeing anyone. I told him that we have a soul inside of us that lives forever and that if we are good, kind and loving that we get to live in Heaven and see all the people we miss and explained that God is in Heaven waiting for us.

He thought for a second then looked at me very seriously and said, “Then I will be naughty so I don’t go anywhere. I just want to keep living and stay here.”

I can see that this is going to take a little more explaining. Until he gets it…watch out!

Good night~

This question recently came from one of my readers. With her permission, I thought I’d share it and my answer;

Hi. So I’m asking for M.O.M advice. I know a lot of big families but they either have all small kids or they tend not to be involved in as many activities as my kids. Yours seem to be in a lot of stuff, too, so here’s the question. Or problem. Mine are driving me absolutely nuts with the last minute stuff. I forgot my… I have rugby practice… I need a…. This morning at 6:20 my son informed me that he needs a flash drive because he lost his a long time ago. But he needs it today. He knew I went to staples last night. Then, he forgot his rugby stuff. Which means that I have to drive it to him instead of him getting a ride to rugby.

Here’s the thing: If I stop them from going to sports because they forgot their added practice or gear, I feel like I’m punishing the team, not them. But I’m trying to get them all over the planet and work… So I’m being punished.

Any advice?

Laura

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, I’ve been there (and still am from time to time). I totally understand what you mean about punishing the team. But…the kids key into that quickly and understand that you’re not willing to let the team down, so they’re off the hook. So, sit them down and tell them (I like to tell them things AND have it in writing so that they understand it’s not going away) that the next time that you have to run around because of their forgetfulness or mismanagement of time, that you are going to give them an extra chore that they can pick from a list of extra chores (make it something substantial, that doesn’t usually get done, but that you REALLY WANT to get done). If it happens again, after an extra chore has been given, then tell them that they will be fined (this is IF they have $. A teen’s $ is usually hard enough earned that they don’t want to have to relinquish it for something that isn’t what they WANT). IF it happens AGAIN after that (make sure you keep track) then they lose the privilege of the sport for the day/week/one game…you decide. BUT, they will have had PLENTY of advance warning, so it’ll be THEIR decision to let the team down. AND let them know that they will have to give the coach (and team, if you choose) an apology for letting them down and tell them why it happened. This all puts the ball in their court. They have plenty of advance notice of what the cause and effect are and the decision is theirs.

That’s my advice. It’s hard to make them accountable for their actions, but it can be done.

Good luck!

Even Mommies of Many have questions about child-rearing!

What is it that makes a toddler, who has had a perfectly good bedtime routine, suddenly decide they are afraid of the dark?

It’s driving me nuts! Luke-Xavier had been going to bed without ANY problems. Suddenly, about 2 weeks ago, he decided to start screaming about it being dark. It is by no means, DARK in that boy’s room! We leave the hall light on and the door open! However, he has spent enough nights standing at his gate screaming about it being dark, that I bought a nightlight and put it at the head of his bed. No luck! Now, the ONLY way to get him to sleep without him screaming for an hour (no joke!) is to have someone lay with him. It’s not that we mind laying with him, it’s just the mystery of the whole thing. You could say that he did it so that someone would lay with him, but we didn’t start out laying with him, so I’m ruling out that he’s a mad, genius who planned the whole thing and could see 4 steps into the future.

Seriously,
those of you with grown children
those of you with a degree in psychology
those of you with a degree in early childhood development
those of you who know how to make it appear “light” when it’s nighttime and you have 2 other boys in the room who need to sleep,

suggestions welcome!

Have a great day~

And other reasonable questions from a day in my life with nine children.

If you’re not sure what to do with the rest of your hot dog but you don’t want to throw it away, just tuck it, neatly, into your shoe for savoring later.

Why is Gabi’s hair slicked to her head?

Unruly hair? Take generous portions of lotion and rub into hair. Try to get it evenly distributed and pay attention to the scalp. After all, lotioning your scalp may help keep dandruff away.

Why is Luke-Xavier’s cereal on the floor?

Finished with your cereal but not sure what to do with the leftover portion? Simply fling the bowl across the dining room. No need to worry about any mess that may occur, there’s always the dog and of course M.O.M. will clean up whatever’s left behind.

Why is there a giant bee in Gabi’s bowl of cereal?

Why wouldn’t there be(e)?!

Just a glimpse into my daily musings.

Good night~

This week’s show is sponsored by Aveeno Baby!

It was the last week of school which made for a lot of excitement and busy work. I felt challenged when thinking about putting a show together in the midst of all that was going on. We had the added excitement of a family photo shoot for the July issue of Military Spouse magazine. A local photographer and military spouse, Deb Schwedhelm took the pictures and did a fabulous job of getting my kiddos comfortable with the camera! I posted a link to a blog she did about her experience, photographing my family, a couple of days ago. She’s fantastic!

But, even in the middle of a busy week, I knew that we had to find a topic for this week’s show. I thank Jessica for sending in her request for a show on how I handle dinner! If you have a show idea, you can use the contact link on the right side of the page. All ideas are welcome!

Thank you for visiting the site and for listening to the show. Please take a minute to visit our sponsor, Aveeno Baby!

[display podcast]

 

 MOM 34 [13:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (160)

I believe that there is an afterlife and that when I die I will be able to have answers to the things that puzzle me while I’m here. So, yesterday in the midst of getting things ready for having some pictures taken, I had to wonder about this;

Why do parents have to use the bathroom? It seems like some sort of flaw in the whole parenting system that we have to, from time-to-time, walk into another room, shut the door and leave the children to their own devices. I know it’s only for a moment sometimes, but whether you’re running in and running out or you’re in there for 3 minutes, what’s going on in the rest of the house is always the same!…….Sheer mayhem!

Let’s take yesterday as an example;
I walked through the kitchen and noticed water, shooting in the air, outside the kitchen window. After a moment of thinking nothing of it, I realized it meant that someone was outside, with the water turned on, shooting it in the air. It ended up being Luke-Xavier. So, I brought him in, turned off the water and shut the door. Then I headed to the bathroom. Mere moments after shutting the door, I could hear Maddi yelling down the hall. So, I ran out of the bathroom to see what the emergency was……..front door thrown open, entry way soaking wet, 4 children outside, 3 of them stripped down to either total nudity or just underwear and the 4th had gone to get the boogie boards!

Seriously! I’m thinking that God overlooked the idea that once you become a parent, you should never again have to use the bathroom.

Have a great day~

It was brought to my attention that my first show wouldn’t play. Bummer! Good news! It’s fixed. So, if you’re new to the site and you want to hear a little about each of the kiddos and why I started this adventure or if you missed the first few shows and want to catch up, click here. It’s a good place to get started!

While you’re here listening, take a minute to subscribe to the show. It’s quick and easy! Just click the button to the left that says, “iTunes”. While you’re there, don’t forget to leave a review, telling the world what you think of the show (be nice!). Don’t have an iTunes account? Take a minute to sign up!

Still wondering why in the world you should subscribe or what it’s all about? Take a look at Chassy Cat’s show . While you’re at her site, help her out by clicking on the Aveeno Baby ad! Yep, we’re all working together to show the great people at Aveeno that our listeners/readers care.

Thanks for visiting!

Good night~

This is the second part of my Q n A show. Thank you to everyone who took the time to send in your questions. Everyone did a great job! I hope you enjoy the show!

Thank you for visiting MommyofMany.com. You can email me at Jen@MommyofMany.com or just click the “contact” button to the left.

A few weeks ago I asked you to let me know what you were interested in hearing about, what questions you’d like to ask me. I received some great, thought-provoking questions. Thanks! So, here are my answers. Next weeks’ show will be part 2.

Thank you for visiting Mommy of Many. You can email me @ Jen@MommyofMany.com. Now it’s even easier! There’s a contact page listed to the left. Enjoy~

For a few days now, I’ve been trying to make a solid decision on whether or not to have JJ come home for Easter. Here’s a list of what’s going through my head;

ON THE ONE SIDE:
Clay leaves for his deployment the day BEFORE JJ can come home. So they will miss each other.
It’s VERY pricey to get him here. Actually, the getting out here isn’t so bad. It’s the getting him back to school that’s the killer.
He will be home for the summer 2 months later.
He can stay with Kateri for Easter.
Kateri is staying at school for Easter.
He says it would be ok with him if he went to stay with Kateri.

ON THE FLIP SIDE:
He won’t be home again for 2 months.
It’s Easter! We should be together.
I miss him.
He’s my son. I should do whatever it takes to bring him home.
He says that his first choice would be to come home.

Clay and I still need to talk about it and I still need to search the internet (again and again) for a better ticket. My “Momminess” is having a tough time with this one. It’s hard to put one person in the family before everyone else. BUT we’re a family and families take sacrifice. But, on a logical level, the $ that it would take to get him out here could be put towards the different camps and trips we’d like to be able to give to all of the children during the summer, while Clay is gone. It’s just a BIG decision for me. Because he’s not yet college age, I feel a deeper draw to get him home EVERY time he’s off. However, he’s become very understanding and knows that we are all working hard to make the education that he’s getting, possible for him.

A few, well said, prayers might make the issue a little clearer.

What do you think?

Good night~