Mommy of Many®

A little later today I’ll sit down with several people from Max’s school for an SST meeting to get a 504 plan in place for him. This is such Good Stuff! This means that there will be an actual set of tools in place that move from year to year with him so that each teacher isn’t trying to develop their own system each year. It will help take the guess work out of what works well for him and will help him feel more confident when he has challenging situations in the classroom.

Because Max isn’t academically challenged, he doesn’t qualify for an IEP, so it can be quite challenging to know what makes for a successful Max day in the classroom. I’m excited for moving forward!

Stay posted for more info!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Every time I’ve sat down to write about a zillion different topics, my mind wanders to the same one-Max. Max, my brilliant, stubborn, imaginative, frustrating, lil guy who’s locked in a complicated web of ideas, thoughts, outbursts, social struggles, compassion and Aspergers. When he puts his mind to something, amazing things happen and when he’s got his mind locked against something, NOTHING happens. He does best when he’s busy and his mind is working hard on solving problems. But you have to be very careful of how things are presented to him. If he gets an inkling that you’re asking anything extra of him, he will completely shut down and this boy is STUBBORN! But, if something extra is presented as a competition, he’s on it! Oh the games!

I’m frustrated right now because his outbursts are interrupting classroom time, but this is a tough thing to define. There’s no IEP for Max’s “disorder”. He went through the GATE testing, but no GATE classes are available to him.

Just a mommy’s rantings over the frustration of wanting your child to have the best schooling experience possible-one that fits what they need, where they make friends and participate appropriately and are guided where needed and challenged accordingly.

~sigh~

Now that I’m mostly settled in the new house and I know what to expect of my routine, it’s time to seek out what’s going to benefit Max socially and educationally. Sometimes parenting hurts my head.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Looking for the Right Music~

What a week! Everyday of this life as M.O.M. keeps me Doing the Dance of the Children, but with the start of school, this week held extra Dancing. The first day of school went as smoothly as we could expect when living in an area for only a week and juggling 2 elementary schools that are on the same bell schedule. I got Tristan, Gabi and Lex to their school and Max and I waited outside the classroom with Lex until the teacher came out. All the other parents were full of a mix of emotions. You could see the pride, excitement and that twinge of sadness as their lil ones headed to the line for their first day of being a “big” kindergartener. Me? Well I was anxious for her to hurry up and open the dang door already so I could get Max over to his school on HIS 1st day and not have him be late. Yes, I took pictures, hugged my lil guy and told him what a great time he was going to have, but I was toe-tapping for the moment I could dash out of there. Sure enough, I got Max to his school and everyone was already seated at their desks. ~Sigh~ His teacher knows that I’m single-parenting and juggling 2 elementary schools, so she’s forgiving. Thank goodness!

1st Day 2011-Lex Kinder, Gabi 1st, Max 3rd, Tristan 6th

Lex on his 1st day of Kinder. My lil guy’s a big boy!

Gabi on her 1st day of 1st grade. Beauty!

Lex in front of his classroom, pointing to his name

I have to add that Max is also very forgiving. I was worried when I had to tell him that he was going to be in a separate school from his siblings. But I think the key to having him be ok is giving him as much information as possible and presenting it in a positive way. His teacher seems GREAT! She called me after the 1st day to give me a rundown on how Max did and what she observed. We discussed his particular needs, strengths and challenges. She seems compassionate to his needs and determined to help him have a successful year. I couldn’t ask for more. So far, he seems happy. He has expressed that he wishes he knew more kids, but I know that will come. There have only been 3 days of school, these things take time!

The other kids seem ok too. Lex is happy with his teacher and class. He’s a really easy-going kid and he plays easily with other kids, so I don’t doubt that he’ll make friends quickly and be a happy kindergartener. Gabi says that kindergarten was harder than 1st grade. We’ll see how she feels in a few weeks, but I do know that the curriculum and expectations were more rigorous at the last school. I have mixed feeling about that. Wait, that’s not the truth. The truth is that I’m sad that I can’t give the kids the level of education they’ve become used to. But I can’t beat myself up over it. Even if we stayed in San Diego and even if I wasn’t getting divorced, that education could no longer be afforded. So I have to accept this change and trust that the kids will be ok. At this time it’s all I can do. If things change in the future, I’ll revisit the subject.

That brings me to the 2nd day of school. THAT was a juggling act! I had to leave the night of the 1st day of school so that I could be in San Diego for our settlement hearing the next day. We had come to an agreement the night before, but the trip still had to be taken because papers had to be signed and an appearance still had to be made. I chose to live in this area for many reasons. I didn’t choose this lightly. I weighed cost of living, schools and the fact that I would have a ready-made support system of friends and family in place. That support system proved itself this week! My sister came to stay with the kids overnight and then got them to school the next day. Then my friend, Jen (who has been more than any friend could be expected to be over these last 6 weeks) came to do the pick ups. Once the older girls were home from school (btw-we’ve been plugged into a carpool by a great group of ladies who have stepped up to help me have a little time to get settled. A friend from high school happens to have a high schooler at my girls’ school AND lives in my new neighborhood. She got us set up with a carpool and also walked baked goods over…YES! THAT is Good Stuff!), they took over for the evening and I flew back in late that night. Whew! Doing the Dance for sure!

While I was in San Diego I managed to see several people, get all the important paperwork done, appear in court, run errands and meet up at Costa Brava with friends before heading to the airport. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Costa Brava? No? It was great to pop in for a little while, enjoy some tapas, sangria and wine and be treated to a round of creme brulee shots and my favorite dessert…I’d tell you what it is, but I have NO idea how to spell it. It’s vanilla ice cream with a burnt top, like creme brulee and it sits on a bed of sliced strawberries. YUM! That restaurant is so warm and welcoming! It always feels like a home away from home and the food is Mmmmm! So good! If you haven’t gone, you should!

Great ladies and our round of creme brulee shots

Enjoying that dessert!

I got home late, picked up the house (it’s amazing what 6 kids can do to a place when left alone for the after-school/dinner/bedtime hours) set my alarm for 4:15 and went to bed.

The kiddos were happy to wake up and find me there and ready to get the routine rolling. I made lunches, signed papers and heard all about the girls’ high school classes. Then it was off to school and time for this M.O.M. to tackle more of this house. The kids headed off for a weekend camping trip with their dad and my brother and I tried to get my head around what tasks I should complete while I have no little ones demanding my attention. But first, I went and played Bunco! I’ve been invited to join a group and was happy to get into something social. In the last 2 years, I had really pulled away from all the social activities I was used to being a part of. I’m enjoying jumping in again!

Everything is coming along nicely. We’re settling in and I’m hoping it all starts to feel homey and “regular” soon. I’m EVER grateful to all the wonderful people who have made this transition as smooth as possible. I truly couldn’t ask for better people in my life.

So, I’ve stocked the kitchen, unpacked more boxes, hung more decor and am preparing for a load of dirty, stinky, tired kiddos to arrive at sometime tomorrow. It’ll be my job to clean them up, wash the dirty clothes and convince them to go to bed to be ready for school on Monday morning. Wish me luck!

Doing the Dance of the Children and Grateful For The Music~

I am so so grateful for the doors that have been opened to us and the support that I’ve been given. The fact that the kids and I have a comfortable, safe place to stay and plenty of fun activities to fill up our days is a HUGE gift. We’ve spent this week keeping busy.

On Tuesday I realized that the schools in this area start a lot earlier than the schools in San Diego and that I better make some decisions and get some plans in motion. I spent Tuesday afternoon and some of Wednesday narrowing down what I want in schools for my kids and came up with, what I believe to be, the best area for my kids to go to school in. On Thursday the kids and I went to the district office to ask questions and get information. After gathering what info we could, I realized that there really isn’t much that can be done without an address.

*tapping my fingers*

I really wasn’t sure what to do. For all technical intense and purposes, our official status is Jobless and Homeless. Those are not 2 labels anyone wants to wear. And when you DO wear those labels, there are many, many choices you just don’t have. Where to send your kiddos to school happens to be one of the choices you might have to give up.

So I spent the rest of the day wanting desperately to move forward, but not seeing anyway to do it. Then…I got a phone call from Clay. He said he’d gotten a job offer and that he could be leaving as early as this coming Monday. We talked about the schools I’m looking at. We talked about what I want for the kids. We talked about how VERY VERY grateful I am to the beautiful people who have been placed into my life and the lives of my children. By the end of the conversation I realized I would, indeed, have the power to go find a place to live for myself and the children, if he, in fact, has or takes this job. I started searching property listings and by this morning I’d made appointments to view houses.

I spent a couple hours keeping the kiddos busy at the pool and then settled them into the house and the dinnertime schedule and left to go see a house.

NOPE! Not the one. Too small. Great area, but we’d be stacked in there a little too tightly for comfort. So the search continues. I say this, not even being sure that Clay is actually leaving for this job. Hmmm…well, I have to keep moving forward, the best I can. The kids need and really, really want answers to what this next school year holds and I keep getting asked when I’m going to go get our things out of storage. I’m just as antsy as they are for the next phase of our lives to begin and to settle into whatever our new routine is going to be.

But I’m so thankful for the little bits we can count on right now and the friends who’ve helped to provide them! Arianna has joined a soccer team and is meeting girls from the area. Having her stay busy and be focused on something is GREAT! She was even able to go with a friend’s family to the midnight showing of the new Harry Potter movie, last night. Good Stuff!

I’m doing all that I can with so much unknown. School starts in a month. I’ll have Maddi back! All 6 kiddos will be together (the older 3 will be off to college) and I’m hoping we have a house full of boxes that are being unpacked.

That’s it! That’s all I can do-keep moving forward with a plan and hope and pray it falls into place. It will. It has so far. Yes, it’s different than I would have chosen, but we are all doing fine and the future is full of Good Stuff waiting to happen.

Doing the Dance of the Children and Hoping to do it in My Own Home Soon~

The 2011 Cathedral Catholic High School Graduating Class (Mariah receiving her diploma)

Family, celebrating Mariah on her day

Sushi lunch! The owner of our fave, PB sushi spot brought Mariah a special roll in celebration. If you’re in town, check out Kabuki Sushi on Garnet. Good Stuff!

Mariah with her cake

Now she’s off to celebrate with most of her classmates at Grad Nite. It was a great day!

Graduation Day!
The High School years FLY BY! Mariah is my 3rd to graduate and with each one I stand back and wonder how that time went so quickly. The Frosh year is full of getting into the routine and it zooms by. Then they’re Soph year shows up and they’ve got the whole thing down and seem to sail through the year. All of a sudden they are in their Junior year and everyone is thinking toward the upcoming Senior year. They continue to work on grades and enjoy sports and BAM! They’re Seniors! The Senior year is so full of planning and paperwork and college that it passes in a blink.

So here we are. Mariah will be heading off to Bryant University in late August. Between now and then I’m sure she’ll try to soak up as much of So. Cal. as she can. I’m so very proud of her, her accomplishments and all she has ahead of her! One step at a time and I know she’s on the road to a bright and promising future.

Today we celebrate!

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Normal-it’s what we all strive for. It’s what we’re “supposed” to be. It’s all the people around us-or so we perceive. Normal is what my kids said today’s lunches were, because I included cheese puffs (never mind that they were wheat free, gluten free, contain no corn syrup or msg) and trail mix.

Normal-we all think it’s pretty important.

Well, it’s what I’m needing to let go of. I chuckle at myself for even saying that because, really, when have I EVER been “normal”? I’m the oldest of 9 children, I was a single, teen mom and have gone on to have a grand total of 9 children of my own. None of that fits society’s views of “normal”.

But surely my kids are normal. They’re all good-looking, read just fine, present themselves in a “normal” fashion when out-and-about, play sports and go to private schools where, if anything, everyone is normal or above normal. Geesh! Normal is certainly what my kids are.

Yeah right! As I’m being forced into clearer vision and thinking, I realize that my kids have always been slightly outside the societal norm. My oldest has chosen to pursue all of her higher education in faith-based schools-certainly not the norm for most. My oldest son struggled mightily with what “normal” was supposed to be. He always had strong ideas on what was right and what was wrong and that you should always be choosing to do what was right. I look back, with a heavy heart when I think of a note he wrote in 6th grade, telling his father and I that he was grateful for the Catholic education he was receiving, but that he was really having a very hard time with not having any friends. We encouraged him and pushed him through. He struggled with grades because of poor handwriting and downward-spiraling self esteem. He became angry and aggressive. And then God stepped in and introduced us to the right environment and peer group for him and within a few months he became happy, full of life and by all means, “normal” once again. Hmmm, environment changed everything. Changing our perception of where he “should” be or what sports he “should” be playing and trusting that we couldn’t provide all the answers, changed his whole life.

I could go on down the line, describing each of my children and the ways in which I perceive them as “normal” and the ways in which they are so much more than that. But really, I now need to focus on my 7th child. My 8yr old son.

I look back to bringing him home after his birth and how sensitive he was to all his environmental stimuli. He was coming to a home with 6 older siblings. 6 boisterous, outspoken and noisy siblings and this didn’t work well for him. Every time someone yelled or ran through the house with happy screeches, he would shake and cry. He couldn’t sit in the baby swing. The movement seemed to terrify him. TERRIFY! He only slept if he was directly on me or swaddled in my blanket or clothing (I learned to cover him in things that smelled of me). I asked questions of people I knew who worked in special education or had children with challenges of their own. But little by little we all seemed to develop coping mechanisms. I noticed that he started to become noisy if everything around him was noisy. I learned to tell him to look me in the eye when I was giving him directions and to have him repeat what I’d said. I learned to assign a number to each task and ask him to go through the numbers. I learned that riding a bike was frightening for him but that he could ride a scooter like nobody’s business. I learned that his fine-motor skills were low for his age and we stopped trying to buy shoes with laces. So, we learned to try to make it through each day with a minimum of challenge. But not everyone is his mom and not everyone is so accommodating or patient (I use “patient” loosely when describing myself) and he started to have real challenges in the classroom last year. He couldn’t grasp the concept of getting things done in a certain timeframe. His thoughts on any given subject were too big for the classroom discussions and he just can’t NOT say what’s going through his head. So he became frustrated at not completing things on time and with the fact that he has poor handwriting and he just decided to give up on doing the work all together. He started hiding his work or destroying it. This meant that his grades plummeted and he was put on academic probation. ~sigh~ It was just a downward spiral. Then he started 2nd grade. New teacher, new year. And she worked REALLY REALLY hard with him. We kept our communication open and discussed various ways to help him function within the classroom setting and finally we discussed getting him into counseling so that he could have better tools to draw from to perform successfully. His grades have been up. He’s not hiding work. Both the teacher and I, realized that he is more than capable with any of the work placed before him.  All in all, it’s a better year. But through the open communication between teacher, parent and counselor, it was suggested (strongly) that he be tested for Asperger’s. While I wasn’t totally surprised, I was challenged. I cried for 3 days. Not for myself, but for my child who possibly needed something more, something different and had been pushed through with the hope that he would finally “get it”. I spoke with a couple people and then had the testing scheduled.

We don’t have a full report back yet, but I’ve been given a partial report and he seems to fall, quite solidly, in the spectrum for Asperger’s. Yesterday I was told that according to the tests, he has an IQ of 156 (I placed a link here because until yesterday, I didn’t know what any IQ scores meant and am betting that most people are in the same boat I was) and that it’s suggested that he be placed in a more challenging school environment. This is where I have to fall back on what I learned with my older son (who was never tested for an “disorders” and has no diagnosis of any) about trusting that environment makes all the difference and where I have to let go of “normal”. I want what’s best for each of my kids. But I’m also having a tough time letting go. I will continue to read, research, talk and learn and I will continue to be human and fight my own ideas of “normal”. And, you can bet I’ll be talking about the whole thing as it unfolds.

Doing the Dance of the Children~

Summer…over! Where’d it go?

Between summer school, trips and guests, it flew by! I still want it! I’m not really ready for the whole school routine. Guess I better GET ready, because when I wake up it’ll be staring me in the face-wake up at 4, pack lunches, listen to 3 girls bicker over the 2 showers, fight for my own shower time, make sure everyone eats something-even if it can’t be considered breakfast, load everyone into the van, fight the morning traffic, drive 15 miles and fight the traffic back. Yea!

I can’t say it hasn’t been a good summer. It’s been different from what I’m used to, but it’s been good. We’re all a lot tanner and there’s a light dusting of sand on the bathroom and laundry room floors, so we obviously enjoyed the beach and parks. Can’t complain there!

Ok summer, I’ll say good bye. But only because I know that in a blink of an eye, you’ll be back~

Here we go!

Today is Freshman orientation. The girls had to show up to school in their “Dress Day” uniforms at 8 am for yearbook pics & spending the day on campus to get acclimated to the campus and their schedules. It jogged my memory of what the school year schedule is like. Starting next Monday, the 3 girls will be back in school and we will be leaving the house at 7 each morning to fight the morning traffic, drive the 15 miles to the HS and then get back home to get the day going for everyone else. But that’s just the beginning-once the other kids start (Sept. 7th) I’m going to have to have 8 lunches packed, 7 kiddos dressed, homework in hand, dinner in the crock pot, myself dressed & ready and EVERYONE out the door by 7. I’ll get off at 12:15, take Lex with me to the gym, get a workout in (I’m pushing for this!), pick the kiddos up from school & begin the afternoon/evening of sports, homework, dinner, writing and the bedtime routine.

Yep-I’m trying to savor the last fleeting days of my semi-hectic summer before it gets turned up to full speed. Yikes!

So, I better get to the shower, clean this house, keep the kiddos entertained, work on the paperwork and try to remember that these are the easy times

Doing the Dance of the Children and easing back into the routine~

My camera was MIA all weekend. I missed taking pics of Kateri leaving to go back to school and snapping pics of the 3 different St. Greg’s boys that we’ve encountered since Friday. We had 2 boys overnight on Friday and one is staying until Wednesday and we met up with another at church on Sunday. I can’t believe that they are all visiting while JJ is away!

But I found the camera again and decided to snap a pic of the project I was working on. Gabi brought home this “Beautiful Butterfly” a few days ago and promptly dropped it on the ground, while trying to show it to one of her sisters. I scooped up the pieces and told her I’d buy some Super Glue and get it put back together. I should’ve known better! I’m classically clumsy-it’s just a fact! And why I thought I could take on anything that had to do with broken glass AND a super-strength glue, I simply don’t know. After successfully gluing the first piece of the wing on, I was feeling pretty confident. Then I cut the tip of my finger on a sharp piece, dripped the glue all over my hand and the other pieces, effectively glueing them (let me rephrase-SUPER GLUING) them to the bowl and having to throw the entire thing away, bowl and all. Of course I hid it all under other trash and had it taken out. Not sure what my explanation is going to be.

How this house has stayed intact and these kiddos have thrived under my butter-fingered guidance, I’ll never know.

~sigh~

So…it’s the week before my high schoolers go back to school. This means sports tryouts. Arianna is trying out for tennis and volleyball. Her first passion is volleyball, but she wants a back-up plan to keep her moving. I give her a TON of credit! She hasn’t played tennis since 4th grade! I LOVE her drive and self-confidence. I wish I would have had it at her age. She tries new things all the time, gives them her all and is largely successful! I’m so proud of her!

My lil kiddos head back to school in a couple of weeks and that means back-to-work for M.O.M. I’ll be aiding in the preschool again. I really enjoyed my time there last year and can’t wait to get to know a new group of preschoolers! Of course this means I’ve got to get used to the crazy schedule of crockpotting every dinner and having everyone (myself included) dressed and ready for the day before 7:30 am. Whew! Doing the Dance for sure!

So, I’m going to try to enjoy my last couple weeks of morning Boot Camp and the “Lazy Days of Summer” (anyone seen those?) and then jump into the whole routine like a pro double-dutcher.

Wish me luck!

It’s Thursday of another summer’s week gone by. There are only a few weeks left and I have a mountain of housework/school prep/paperwork to get through. There are kid’s physicals, sports tryouts, school shopping and the last of the summer house guests to keep me Doing the Dance. But I wanna play! The beach is RIGHT THERE and it’s screaming to me and the kids. The pools are sending out invites and wondering why we’re not lying in the San Diego sunshine in lounge chairs by their clear, blue sides. The parks are whispering of shady trees and picnics. I’m so torn!

For today I’m working in the house for a little while longer and then packing up my bickering brood and heading for the pool, book in hand. But I know I’ll come home this afternoon, look around at all that’s waiting and wonder what magical thing is going to happen to make it possible for me to get it all done.

Why, oh why are there only 24 hours in each day? This M.O.M. needs more. More of everything! More time. More help. More solutions to my inner tugging between work and play!

Grab some time on these fleeting, summer days and try to enjoy it before it’s gone. The work, well, it’ll still be there. I promise

Doing the Dance of the Children and trying to keep my balance~

Only 2 more 1/2 days at school and then we’re callin’ it summer! I can’t wait! I love summer and being able to be on my own schedule (ok, in reality I only FEEL like I’m on my own schedule. The kids really rule the hours. But I LIKE feeling like I’m in charge). In preschool, we enjoyed a Luau themed party and activities for the last 2 days and for the next 2, it’ll be Pajama Party themed. This means popcorn and movies and lots of lil kiddos in pjs. Gabi and Lex are looking forward to it.

I heard from JJ this morning. Yea! There hadn’t been any word since the boys left for their pilgrimage, more than 2 weeks ago. But he said he was in Spain and was doing well, just tired. They’ll be back in the States on Thursday and he’ll be home for the summer on Saturday. I can’t wait to hear the stories from that trip!

Tomorrow, after work, I’m grabbing most of the kids and heading to the San Diego County Fair. We haven’t been in a few years, so I’m looking forward to checking it out!

I guess I better call it a night. With Slumber Parties and The Fair looming, I’m gonna need my rest!

Good night~

What a great weekend! All the prep work, stress and busyness of the last week paid off. The girls memory boards were done for Memory Lane, they attended their luncheon, last dance of the year and 2 of the 3 graduation parties that are scheduled. The last party is later this week. Family and friends were on hand to celebrate with them and we had a great family dinner at one of our favorite sushi restaurants.

Whew! I’m glad it’s over and that it was all good for them. Now they have a week off and then it’s into their high school uniforms and off to summer school. I have math books to order tomorrow. It just never ends!

On news of my other graduate-JJ, I do believe the boys are finishing up their pilgrimage and heading back to the U.S. in a few days. He will be home for the summer, this weekend. I can’t wait to hear about the amazing journey that he and his fellow classmates went on. I can only imagine the stories that 16 boys, on bikes, for about 1,000 miles thru Spain and France are going to have.

For my 4 youngest kiddos there is one more week of school. So, regular bedtimes and wake-up routines until Friday when we can throw up our hands and welcome summer. I can’t wait!

Here’s to the last week of this school year.

Doing the Dance of the Children with My Eyes on the Beach~

The last couple of days have been consumed with all things, 8th grade graduation. I’m still working on the girls’ memory boards and have until this afternoon to be finished. Then they go onto Memory Lane, where each of the graduates has all their special items set up for all to see.

This week is filled to the brim with kid stuff. Yesterday the 8th grade went to Disneyland. After school, today, many of them will head to Soak City. Tomorrow is the dance and then a party. Whew! By Friday we will all be more-than-ready to have graduation and call it quits.

I managed to grab a couple hours, yesterday, to take Gabi to a friends’ house to be outfitted for a Poodle Skirt. The preschoolers have a special Father’s Day performance on Friday and Gabi is the lucky recipient of a fancy, new skirt. It turned out SO cute!

Such a busy week! I love projects, but I hate deadlines! I’ll be glad when these boards are finished up and the girls have graduated. Then the work of getting them set up to start high school begins.

Doing the Dance of the Children, One Project at a Time~

For the last 3 days I’ve been browsing craft stores and sitting, for hours, at my computer, pouring over pictures of Arianna and Maddi. All of this in the effort to get started on their 8th grade, graduation, memory boards.

Did I wait until days before they were due because I didn’t know what to do or what to expect? Heck no! These are the 4th and 5th boards I’ve done and a year ago, when they finished 7th grade, I told myself I should start prepping the photos so I wouldn’t be rushed or anxious. Ha! It’s just that everything got away from me (whine, whine, whine, excuse, excuse, excuse). I was single-parenting, due to deployment and I spent the summer days keeping the kids busy. The nights were spent trying to catch up around the house and to get a little sleep. Then the Fall came and I went to work (more excuses). I spent each day juggling school, housework, sports and a work schedule. Then February arrived and my brother came to stay. Life got a little easier. I looked around at all I was behind on, thought of the girls’ graduations that were merely months away and did another load of laundry.

Fast forward to the first weekend of June…Uh…it’s time!

This week is a little crazy and I’m feeling overwhelmed. But, the girls will graduate. The boards will be done. Life will move on.

So-deep breath and a glass of water for this M.O.M. and tomorrow I will tackle a little more. And hopefully I’ll learn from my great dislike of anxious feelings and not do something like this again…

Somehow I have a feeling I’ll be writing like this again. There are lessons we just don’t learn.

Doing the Dance of the Children~